In Her Shoes

Gabriella : Three Months

2012-01-29T21:33:00.005-06:00

(Let's pretend this isn't 2 weeks late, k-thanx?)

My girlie....3 months.

And yay! I'm beginning to see some resemblance despite the fact that my children have completely different complexions.

In case you can't tell, Gabriella is sporting blue eyes and reddish blonde hair. I think she's absolutely beautiful but I'm not gonna lie...part of me is mourning the loss of a daughter who is my mini-me :( Everyone says Eli looks like Jim. And now it's the same with Gabriella. And uh, I grew these children so, you know... give credit where credit is due :) [By the way, I think Eli looks like me regardless of what everyone says. Maybe I'll post a photo of me at that age to prove it.]

We're out of the infamous fourth trimester and oh yeah, life is getting a tad easier! Where we once had an infant who basically slept and cried, we now have a happy baby who smiles and coos and makes. my. heart. melt. Seriously. I love nothing more than just hovering over Gabriella on the floor while she imitates the noises I make. She must know I'm her mama as well because she now tracks me with her eyes as I walk around and when I enter a room, she instantly looks my way after hearing my voice. Yes, little lady, it's me!

I feel like I'm finally getting to "know" my daughter too. Those first few weeks were hard because I really couldn't decipher her cries. Was she hungry? Tired? Gassy? But now I'm pretty certain I'm catching on. For instance, I know when she has a modest cry and constantly turns her head to the right, she's tired. And when she cries hysterically, that means FEED ME NOW! If she recently woke up from a nap and has had a good feeding, a fussy baby usually means she needs to be changed. I'm figuring it out, folks :)

Oddly, without any encouragement on my part, Gabriella is falling into a somewhat predictable pattern. About an hour or so after waking up in the morning, she likes to take a nap. Which, surprisingly can last almost two hours. If she happens to be in her swing in the living room though, it tends to be shorter since Eli is the loudest toddler I know and wakes her up. If Jim and I are really lucky, we're able to get both babes down for an afternoon nap. And THAT is fabulous. A mid-afternoon breather? Yes, please :) I like to call that half time; a time to recharge and strategize the rest of the evening.

Gabriella is also showing a lot of similarities to Eli personality-wise. Eli was a pretty independent child for the most part. He didn't need constant nursing or snuggling and I'm beginning to think Gabby might be the same way. It's very rare to camp out on the couch and hold her like a typical newborn. Baby girl needs to be upright and looking around the room. I've learned we can go from content baby to ticked off child in a matter of seconds if she's reclined in any way. Even though it seems way too early, I've already busted out the bumbo seat for Gabriella. She can hang for a couple of minutes but then her poor neck gets tired - or a certain toddler wants to reclaim his chair- and back to the floor we go. In related news, Gabs has occasionally rolled over from belly to back which is a pleasant surprise seeing that I, uh, don't have dedicated tummy time everyday :)

When it comes to sleep, at first glance, things seem to be going exceptionally well. As you may recall, we had Gabriella sleeping in her bouncy seat every night due to suspicion of acid reflux. Well, after a few weeks I was certain Little G wasn't in pain anymore but because she was sleeping so well, I didn't want to make the move to her bassinet or crib. I thought for sure we'd be up every hour on the hour and I was just putting off the inevitable. Well, one night, Jim and I pulled the trigger and put Gabriella in her bassinet next to our bed. I was bracing for the worst, folks, but you know what? She slept through the night and has been ever since. So now I'm breathing a sigh of relief while simultaneously dreading the move to her crib. Call me crazy but I think it's too early to make the move. I feel like we just had her. I can't imagine my munchkin alone in a big cold crib. And the funny thing about that - we put Eli in his crib at three months and looking back I felt like he was in our room for SUCH a LONG time. We'll eventually make the move, but right now I'm content to have her next to me.

So, sleeping through the night is great and dandy right? Well, there's more. Not only does Gabriella fall asleep extremely easy now, but she also actually prefers to be put down awake and doze off on her own [which is a FAR cry from the routine we had just a few short weeks ago when it took the sun, moon and stars to be in perfect alignment in order for her to sleep]. I know so many moms out there try their dang hardest to get their kids to self soothe and fall asleep by themselves but whoa, I feel like we missed like 10 or 20 steps here! Yeah, I'll admit, after a long rough day with two kiddos, getting both of them into bed within 20 minutes of each other is quite the treat. But there's a part of me that still wants to soak in these precious early months and rock my baby girl to slumberland. I know it's early and a lot can change. Maybe as she gets older she'll want some mama time before bed :) One can hope.

The really really bad news about all of this is because Gabriella sleeps 8-10 hours at night [yeah, I know...ridiculous], my milk supply has tanked :( And ugh, if you guys remember my breastfeeding battle with Eli, you know this doesn't make me happy at all. It infuriates me to NO END that a baby who doesn't eat at night somehow has less milk available to her during the day. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty because, believe me, it's ugly and I don't want to bore you with my never ending rants, but man, I really feel like I could be at the end of my rope some days. The good news is I've met with a lactation consultant and all hope is not lost. I'm not at the point of no return and with a lot of extra pumping session and a middle of the night date with that stupid hooter hoover, I should be able to bring my supply back up. My goal is six months [preferably a year but I'm not holding my breath over here] and gosh dang it, I'll down 100 Fenugreek pills a day if that's what it takes.

So yeah, there's definitely pros and cons to a baby who sleeps all night long. I LOVE the uninterrupted rest but I despise the nursing battle that plagues me every waking hour. Prayers, folks. They'd be appreciated.

All in all, I'm falling more in love with my Gabba, Gabby, Gabs...whatever name comes to mind :) At times I honestly can't believe I have my daughter. I know I've mentioned it before, but I always envisioned myself with a daughter and now, here she is...in the flesh. I love, love, love her.

Three months down and charging on to four!

Eli - Twenty Months

2012-01-26T14:04:00.003-06:00

This boy has officially been in our lives for 20 months.

And what a fantastic 20 months it has been.

If I had to summarize where we are in toddlerhood I'd say Eli is a passionate, strong willed and inquisitive little boy. From sun up to sun down, he's either exploring something, imitating us, loving on his favorite toys/DVDs or throwing a temper tantrum. Rarely is there a chill moment around here and to be perfectly honest with you, I like it [minus the temper tantrums of course!]. As tiring as it can get, I just love watching Eli's brain go a mile a minute.... not a day goes by that he isn't learning something new, displaying a new skill, speaking a new word or making us laugh like crazy. The newborn stage is sacred and precious in its own way but I'm definitely a fan of the toddler years. It's so incredibly fun and my heart almost bursts when Eli expresses his love for us in his own little way. Am I crazy to admit that every night while I lay in bed I think of my babies and just smile? I love these munchkins so so much. They are my life!

You know how each kid has their "thing"? I think it's safe to say that for Eli it would be, hands down, music. If I had to put money on it, my boy is going to have the largest iTunes library in the world or be in a band. I suppose I should have seen it coming when he started busting a move months ago without anyone teaching him this. The stuff he picks up truly amazes me. At times we'll have the TV on in the background not even paying attention to it and Eli's head spins around the second he hears a quirky commercial or the opening song to a show. I don't even pick up on these things until he brings them to my attention. Do you guys remember the TJ Maxx/Marshall's Christmas commercial with all the singing and dancing? Yeah, I can't even tell you how many times I *had* to rewind and replay it. Like hundreds. Every night. Over and over and over again. It came to the point where I cringed and frantically tried to distract Eli the second it came on.

Along those same lines, Eli is crazy obsessed with his Praise Baby DVDs which is funny because I thought we retired those things a few months ago. However, several times a day now he turns the dvd player on and hands us the remote. Again, I'm pretty sure this has to do with the music since he gets a huge grin on his face the second it starts. I love that he loves *these* dvds but we really try to limit the amount of tv watching around here. But I will admit, this obsession is a lifesaver when I have to nurse Gabriella or if Eli is having a rough afternoon and we need to recharge.

Since we're heading down to Florida next month and freaking out about the 3 hour flight, Jim and I have tried to get Eli hooked on other videos from the library. We've tried everything - Sesame Street, Elmo, Cookie Monster, The Wiggles - and nothing capture his attention. Nothing. But last week Jim came home with a video on...you guessed it...music and Eli is absolutely mesmerized. He can just sit and stare at the television for the whole 30 minutes while some lady talks about rhythm, tempo and harmony. It's kind of cool to see his preference for things. And it's safe to say that his favorite Christmas gifts are the music set he got from my parents and a mini radio from Jim's parents. As a side note to parents, this is fabulous. The songs, while cheesy, aren't annoying and actually pretty enjoyable. We sing them all day long here in the Weiss household :) [Oh man, when I did I become that suburban mom?!]

[Jim had just assembled our new double stroller and Mr. Man decided to climb in it]

I've said it here before - Eli hasn't been in a rush to talk which has been a bit frustrating, especially when he gets mad and we ask him to tell us what's wrong. But in these past few months we're finally beginning to see some major dialog going on. He of course says all those common first words - mama, dada, papa, nana, doggie, hi, bye-bye etc. And now we're mastering a whole bunch of other words like banana [naner], dinner [ninner], bath [ba], 123, yes, up, help, Gabby and others that don't come to mind at the moment. His understanding is pretty spectacular and I'm certain he comprehends everything I say since he responds with the appropriate action almost all the time. He's also extremely well at taking our hands and guiding us to what he wants/needs which is both a blessing and a curse. For one, this has eliminated a lot of frustration on his part and he's able to calmly communicate his needs to us. On the other hand, I can only handle so many pulls and tugs to the refrigerator for milk. I think I begin to lose it around the 20th attempt.

We're definitely heading into temper tantrum city over here. I guess I shouldn't be shocked...don't most parents have to deal with this? And as strong willed as Eli is, it was only a matter of time before they arrived. Luckily, we haven't ventured into those really gnarly meltdowns that involve hitting or biting. Instead, Eli just lets out this horrid, ugly scream-slash-grunt followed by "dadadadadadadadadadadada" [which is odd since Jim disciplines Eli just as much as me]. If you can even imagine that... It's pretty embarrassing when it happens in public and just today I received one of my first rude stares. Clearly the woman didn't understand and I was in no mood to apologize. At home we're handling these tantrums with time outs and serious talks and when we are out, I just turn on my seething mom glare and pray for the best until we're alone. On the other hand, Jim and I are making a conscious effort to praise Eli for good behavior. When he behaves we tell him what a good, big boy he is and that mommy and daddy really appreciate how he handled himself. I actually think this works and is beneficial since Eli gets feedback on both bad AND good behavior. He's not actually two yet though so we'll see where these tantrums go.....

While I may have my struggles with a strong willed child, I have been BLESSED beyond measure in the sleep department. BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE! [Now watch, I just jinxed myself.] We've rarely, if ever, have bed time battles. In fact, it's just the opposite. After bath, jammies and a few books Eli excitedly runs to his crib and attempts to climb in. As I snuggle him in with Teddy and a few blankets, Eli just looks up and smiles at me. I'm still waiting for the night when he freaks the heck out and gives me a doozy of a time but that's yet to happen. He sleeps the whole night without a single peep and wakes between 7 and 8 am. It's glorious, people. I'm not sure if this is due to his own natural tendencies or efforts on our part, but regardless we are so thankful and just *pray* that it lasts. So far we've weathered teething, colds, and a brand new baby and have come through unscathed in the sleep department. Is it premature to say the worst is over and we might just have an excellent sleeper on our hands?

Oh, we started swim lessons this month! This really wasn't Eli's first encounter with water since he's been in my parents' pool several times. But we thought it was great way to keep Eli busy and active during these cold winter months. His favorite part is, of course, all the cheesy singing. As soon as we finish a song, he frantically signs "more" and makes it known he is ticked when we move on to the next activity. I'm not gonna lie...sometimes I just want to dunk the kid to bring him back to his senses. But I don't and instead remove him from pool for a time out which is fabulous when you have a window full of doting spouses and grandparents watching. And I'm not going to even tell you about the time when Eli ran away from me on the wet, slippery pool deck while I frantically chased him in front of lifeguards and parents. Oh yes, I have *that* kid.

As always I have to end with how Eli is responding to Gabriella. Again, blessed is the only word that comes to mind because we are three months in and he still adores her. He constantly wants to kiss her, put a nuk in her mouth or cover her with a blanket. Since he's basically a bull in a china shop these days, we're always reminding him to be gentle and watch where he's stepping but I know he intends nothing but love for his little sister. I'm really looking forward to watching these two grow up together. I have visions of dance parties and movie nights and sleeping in forts. It's going to be awesome. I just know it :)

Happy 20 months little guy!

As always, mama loves.

Meals : 1.18. 2012 and a RECIPE!!

2012-01-20T15:52:00.003-06:00

I'm a liar. Actually, I'm an idiot. Do you remember when I said anything made with almond flour is gross and nasty and there's no way I'm using it ever again? I WAS WRONG! A few days ago I stumbled across a ooey-gooey chocolately recipe that called for almond flour and it looked so yummy I was determined to give it another try. I went on Amazon and ordered two pounds of this amazingness and it arrived on my doorstep today. Most people with a healthy dose of self control would probably wait a day or two to give it a whirl but I was so desperate for a treat I jumped right into baking this afternoon. Since I didn't have any chocolate on hand, I had to make something else and came across a carrot cake recipe. After a few mistakes and the realization that I was missing some ingredients, I basically did my own thing and you know what? I made my OWN RECIPE! I'm an official foodie, you guys :)

This is what you would call a Paleo cheat treat. You're not exactly eating wheat and refined sugar but it's still a dessert, so...you know....moderation, people.

Carrot Cake Muffins
Yields 18 muffins

Ingredients:
3 cups blanched almond flour [BLANCHED!]
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1.5 tablespoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons nutmeg
5 eggs
1/2 cup pure maple syrup [pure...not the mass produced Aunt Jemima kind]
1/4 cup [melted] coconut oil
1 cup shredded carrots
1 cup raisins
1 1/4 cup crushed pineapple

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

1. In a large bowl, combine almond flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg.

2. In a smaller bowl, mix together eggs, maple syrup, coconut oil, carrots, raisins and pineapple.

3. Incorporate wet ingredients into the dry mixture.

4. Grease muffin pans with coconut oil and fill 3/4 full with batter.

5. Bake approximately 20-25 minutes [you'll have to watch since I just go by the tooth pick test].

These are so yummy you COULD just eat them as is but if you're a glutton like me, you might just want to add a cream cheese frosting. I'm not gonna lie...this isn't totally my recipe. I slightly altered the cream cheese frosting from Make It Paleo.

Cream Cheese Frosting:

8 oz full fat cream cheese
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Blend well and frost muffins.

Yummy!!!

Again, you could practice some self control [unlike me] and frost these after the muffins cool. I clearly couldn't wait.

And now on to our weekly menu.

Wednesday: Garlic Pulled Pork and sauteed zucchini and yellow squash. Dude, this was so good. We made a 3 lbs pork shoulder and it didn't last to see another day.

Thursday: Stuffed peppers One of my faves. You get a ton of extra meat mixture with this recipe but that's cool with us.

Friday: leftovers

Saturday: Bun-less burgers and sweet potato fries

Sunday: Whole roasted chicken and Avocado, Tomato, Mozzarella salad. The Mozz clearly makes it non-paleo but watch me devour it! :)

To end, I'm excited to say I'm sooooo close to my pre-preg weight. Four pounds to go!

Milwaukee Baby Photographer :: Gender Reveal

2012-01-15T20:09:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, I had the honor to photograph something pretty amazing. If you've hung out in my corner of the Internet for a while you no doubt know I'm good friends with fellow blogger, Julia. She and her husband, Nate are expecting baby #2 and yesterday they had their big gender reveal.

I have to let you guys know how intense it was behind the scenes. You see, our friend Erin was going to get "the envelope" on Thursday evening to prepare for the reveal. I was going to find out the gender beforehand but I couldn't wait another second and texted Erin that night - "I can't wait until Saturday!" She called me that evening with the news and the anticipation for the photo shoot was up'd another ten notches! Let's just say I could barely eat my breakfast yesterday morning and practically ran out of the house the second my sitter arrived.

I'll let the photographs tell the rest of the story. It was amazing you guys...just amazing :)

Anticipation.....

Before the big moment, we had Nate and Julia place their bets. She thought girl. He said boy. And Truman said yellow :) Although there weren't any yellow balloons so by default he got pink!

And then, it was time.

PINK BALLOONS!!!!!

I have to sneak in a little story here. After the excitement calmed down a bit, the entire crew gathered while I scrolled through the photos on my camera. I showed everyone my favorite and then for some reason emotion hit hard and suddenly all four girls - Julia, Dizzy, Erin and I - were embraced in the tightest group hug ever with tears in our eyes. It was such a girl moment and a great one at that!

After we pulled ourselves together we continued on with photos.

Pregnant ladies on the left. The entire crew on the right. Crazy to think that in a couple of months there will be EIGHT babies among us. EIGHT!!!

It truly was one of the best events I've ever witnessed. And to say I'm beyond thrilled for Julia and Nate is an understatement. Love these guys and I'm so happy to be part of their special day :)

Meals : 1.13.2012 and other news

2012-01-14T06:40:00.004-06:00

I know you guys were thoroughly impressed with my last meal plan based on all the comments! haha!

But, no, seriously - I'll keep this up for a bit in hopes that it might just make some of you realize eating Paleo isn't the end of the world and actually quite easy if you plan for it. No one said you had to eat this way 100% of the time. Start with dinner and go from there!

Friday: A classic - spaghetti. Of course we made it with spaghetti squash and not noodles. I also don't buy premade sauce and instead make my own. I've found that the perfect combination is a can of each of tomato sauce, diced tomatos and tomato puree. Then season the crap out of it with basil, rosemary, thyme and garlic. Sorry, no garlic bread!

Saturday - Leftovers because there's always a ton after spaghetti

Sunday - A huge rack of ribs. Mmmm!! Jim's going to try his hand at making his own BBQ sauce. I told him to have at it as long as it's not loaded with brown sugar. Results to be determined. Oh, and I'll probably make a side of mashed cauliflower and possibly sweet potato fries for the boys.

Monday - Another experiment night. We're going to make pizza but instead of following the recipes from Everyday Paleo like we have been, we're going to attempt the Make It Paleo version.

Tuesday - Leftovers

So, remember how I said I wanted to try my hand at more pinterest ideas? Well, this week I finally did and attempted to make Eli these homemade fruit roll ups. Only two ingredients: pureed strawberries and cinnamon. You just dehydrate this in the oven for a couple of hours. Super easy, right? Well, I kind of shanked it. For one, I used too many strawberries in one batch and the center was still mushy while the ends were perfectly dry. And two, I used wax paper which, I've learned, is nearly impossibly to peel. The good news is we've actually managed to salvage some of it [when we have a few moments to sit down and peel away that wax paper] and it's actually really yummy! I'll be sure to attempt this again soon.

It's been three months since Gabriella has been born and for the most part my workouts have consistent of interval training and body weight resistance. I really wanted to push myself harder but the muscles that were compromised during pregnancy were still in baaaaad shape and hurt like heck for days after exercising [low back, low belly, groin muscles, and inner thighs]. This wasn't "oh, good workout!" sore...more like "two pregnancies in 18 months" sore. Well, this week I up'ed my protein intake, got serious about recovery drinks and started lifting H-E-A-V-Y. I'm talking dead lifts, clean and jerks, squats and I'm even back at attempting pull ups. Don't even assume I can muster the strength for one....I definitely need assistance. After 20 minutes or so in the basement I could barely walk up the stairs. It was awesome. Anyway, my whole point is because of these workouts, I was so freakin' hungry, I wanted to gnaw my arm off. This was a week where I would go back to the fridge a hundred times, just stare and think "we have nothing to eat." And it didn't help that Jim mentioned pizza - the real ooey, gooey kind - on Tuesday. I was strong though and didn't budge and instead made my friend, Rebecca's, zucchini fries. Uhhhhh....SO. GOOD. I made a batch right before Jim worked out and asked him if he wanted to try one. He said he'd wait until he was done and I just laughed. I ate the whole batch before he had a chance to consume any and didn't feel guilty at all! You snooze, you lose, buddy. Anyway, make these fries. You won't regret it.

His Best Friend

2012-01-10T14:25:00.005-06:00

He is his buddy.

His best friend.

The coolest guy he knows.

He's the one who can throw him up to the highest of heights.

And rumbles and tumbles with him on the floor.

He's the one who cheers the loudest.

And softly says "good night".

He is the smartest guy he knows.

The strongest.

The bravest.

He's the man who can do anything.

Be anything.

Make anything.

He's the man who builds the best pillow forts.

And can stack blocks like no other.

He's the one who sneaks treats behind mom's back.

But sternly says "Eat your vegetables".

He's the only man he trusts.

The only man he loves.

The only man he needs.

He's the man he wants to look like.

Act like.

Be like.

He's the man he wants to be one day.

He's his best friend.

He's dad.

New Years 2012

2012-01-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

The plan was to stay home on New Years Eve. Jim and I thought we'd put the kids to bed a tad early, have a late steak dinner - just the two of us - and possibly stay up to midnight to ring in the new year.

That plan completely derailed on Saturday morning.

Jim's entire family usually heads up north to the cabin every new years. Sometimes we go. Sometimes we don't. It all depends on Jim's schedule. Even though it was possible for Jim to lay down an extra vacation day we figured it was extremely risky to drive 4 hours into the north woods with a toddler and a newborn. Eli isn't exactly the most well behaved kid when confined to a car seat and we had no idea how Gabriella would handle the long trek. Not to mention the fact that SEVENTEEN people would be sleeping under the same roof...if Gabriella decided to scream in the middle of the night, so. help. me. God.

Anyway, after a few phone calls from Jim's family we decided to just be spontaneous and make the trip. To many of you this is no big deal. But to us....to completely pack up our entire existence for three days within one hour is pretty much living life on the edge! But we figured it's not often we'd have the chance to do such a thing. I don't work, Jim was able to take a day off and it's not like the kids had to be at school or anything. So, at 10:30 am on Saturday we made the decision and by noon we were on the road. Jim's family didn't know we were coming, we had just enough diapers to last us through the weekend and we didn't even pack food! Like I said...life on the edge.

Wanna hear the most awesome, amazing news ever? Eli and Gabriella were complete angels on the drive up there. It was almost eerie how perfectly content they both were. I give major props to the Rockabye Baby CD's we took out from the library. Ever hear of these? They are lullabye renditions from popular bands. We played Coldplay, the Beatles, Journey, Radiohead, Bob Marley, Queen and Elvis. They are kind of hilarious but totally manage to keep kids in some hypnotic trance.

The weekend was pretty much what you'd expect from a house full of ten adults and seven children. Lots of noise, tons of food and happy, crazy kids running around every waking moment. Eli certainly had a blast and that alone made me glad we took our chances.

Our first night....let the chaos begin.

Clearly this kid was excited.

Just a heads up...these two will be trouble together one day. Eli is a miniature Gavin and Jim and I can only imagine what the future holds for these two risk takers.

But to be completely honest, it may have been chaotic but at least it was ORGANIZED chaos :)

Sadly, no one made it to midnight and we were all in our respective rooms by 10:30. Eli and Gabriella slept extremely well considering the fact that they were out of their element. Eli has a track record of sleeping HORRIBLY up at the cabin. Last time we were up there, we actually put his pack 'n play in a walk in closet because it's nearly impossible for him to sleep in the same room as us. But this time...I don't know what happened...the four of us were able to snooze within 3 feet of one another.

The next morning, Jim and I decided to head into town to grab some food and milk. There are deer fenced in at Crandon's city hall so we obviously had to make the stop for Eli, lest we be labeled the World's Worst Parents.

It was freakin' cold while I took these photos, fyi...

Eli didn't show too much excitment over the animals but when it was time to go, he definitely didn't want to leave.

Back at the cabin, Jim took Eli for a quick sled ride but let me tell you guys, it was so cold and windy, I kind of wanted to die.

At least we got to try out the snow suit for the first time.

Ok, so it's kind of too cutesy for my taste but that's what you get when you buy off the clearance rack.

At least it kept my kid warm.

Tears yet again that the fun has to end.

Since it was vacay and Eli was taking a nap, I decided it was the perfect opportunity to snuggle with little G for a couple of hours. But first we took advantage of the awesome natural light in the basement. Dream studio, for sure! [Dear God, Please give me a space like this one day!]

I think Gabriella and I slept close to two hours next to the fire place. That might have been only the second or third time I have ever napped with my baby girl and let me tell you, it was much needed.

We drove home on Monday and again, perfect, happy children graced our presence. [Who are you and what have you done with my kids?]

Anyway, our new years eve weekend was short and sweet up at the family cabin. Definitely not a planned trip but considering the fact that we literally threw everything in the car at a moment's notice, it couldn't have gone any better.

Now let's just hope these sweet, angelic children show up when we fly down to Florida next month!

Meals : 1.6.2012

2012-01-08T13:23:00.002-06:00

Ok, I think I'm going to give these meal posts a try. If they are completely horrible and don't help a soul, I'll gladly step down from my Paleo soapbox :)

For some reason my body was out of whack this past week and I fought a terrible migraine for almost three days straight. On Friday, we were completely out of food but I had zero energy to sit down and do our meal plan. Jim, thankfully, stepped up to the plate and took care of everything. I'm a pretty huge control freak when it comes to grocery shopping but because of how I was feeling, I really had no choice but to let him take the reins. He may have forgotten bacon and milk for Eli....but I still give him an A for effort :)

Friday: Fresh cod seasoned with olive oil and garlic pepper. Jim made these on the grill which I think is the only way to go! We had a side salad, brussel sprouts and orka.

Saturday: Beanless chili. This was actually our first attempt at beanless chili but it turned out super yummy. Instead of beans and corn, Jim added diced zucchini and yellow squash. I ditched the sour cream and cheese but Jim and Eli indulged. Oh, side salad included.

Sunday: Leftovers

Monday: Pot roast with carrots, celery and potatos. I'll forgo the potatos.

Tuesday: Experiment night. Jim used to make this meal he got from the fire house that included sour kraut, noodles, Polish sausage and cream of mushroom soup. Sounds weird and gross but I'm not gonna lie...it was really good. Well, obviously we can't do noodles and Cream of mushroom soup is full of god-knows-what so we're going to play around a bit. I actually saw this on Dr. Oz last week but we're going to add our own touch on a dish that will include sour kraut, chopped tomatoes, sausage, olive oil, salt and pepper. It might be good. It might be gross. I'll be sure to let you know the verdict.

So, there ya go. Five nights of meals. Not very original right? Maybe Paleo eating isn't difficult after all.....hhhhhmmmm ;)

Paleo and Weight Loss So Far

2012-01-05T11:10:00.008-06:00

Happy New Year, friends! I really can't think of a better way to kick off this new year of blogging with a post about eating and weight loss. I'm sorry I left so many of you in the dark after September's post regarding Paleo eating. We definitely didn't fall off the wagon and in fact, we've been going full force since Gabriella has been here. Well, okay, I may have intentionally indulged a bit during the holidays. There were just a few things I couldn't deprive myself of since this type of eating only happens once a year. But there have been some of those no-no foods I haven't touched in months. Take for instance, bread and pasta. I think my last encounter with bread happened a week after Gabriella was born when I had a Jimmy John's sub. It was delicious all right but afterwards?.. I was sick, sick, sick. After slowly eliminating bread from my diet, my stomach couldn't handle all that gluten and I, er...found myself in the bathroom quite a lot that day. Ever since then I've really have no desire for bread or pasta. In fact, I can honestly say I have zero cravings and a big juicy steak with a side of veggies sounds WAY more appetizing than a bowl of pasta. And that's definitely something I couldn't say a year or even 6 months ago. I know for a fact I was a carbaholic based on my old daily plate records. It's amazing how your body starts to crave good stuff when you feed it right.

But let me rewind a bit and tell you all how our journey began. We absolutely did not jump into this way of eating head first. When I was pregnant with Gabriella, I really wanted to give Paleo a try [after months and months of poo-pooing it] so we just started out with Paleo meals. In fact, I don't think I ever did a full day of Paleo eating. We'd do eggs and bacon for breakfast and then have a sandwich for lunch. Or I'd eat fairly well all day but then indulge in a super sugary dessert after dinner. I was totally okay with that though because my whole intention was to slowly dip my toe in the Paleo pool. I knew if I jumped in full force, I'd fall victim to the "all or nothing" mentality, get frustrated with my lack of food options and in the end feel like a failure. The plan was to experiment and hopefully create a huge arsenal of recipes that were sure to equip us once we did Paleo all the way. And you know what? It worked. Jim and I slowly got our bodies off of the no good stuff, we started craving the proper foods and our energy levels just took off. Besides the normal newborn sleep deprivation feeling, I rarely found myself exhausted in the early afternoon....something that used to plague me a ton!

So, what are we eating? That's the question I get often and some of you have even emailed me asking for suggestions, especially for those picky toddlers. The cool thing is since our families know about our new eating habits, we scored some pretty awesome Christmas gifts. My mom and Don bought us 100 pounds of grass fed beef [which is going awfully fast!] and my dad and his wife bought us a care package from a local farm that is delivered to our doorstep every month. We get 4 dozen farm fresh eggs and a variety of other things like pork and chicken. I feel like we're eating like kings! Not to mention the fact that our grocery bill now falls somewhere between $30 and $60 for about 5 or 6 days worth of food. Yes, and yes!

Anyway, breakfast is almost always eggs [sorry all you egg haters out there]. For a while we did fried eggs with a meat but then I got sick of that fast. So I started getting a bit creative and made a concoction of scrambled eggs, ground turkey seasoned with garlic and cumin, tomatoes and avocado. I'd actually wake up in the mornings craving this breakfast. But now that we have those farm fresh eggs, I totally salivate over the typical fried eggs and [uncured] bacon combo. That's what I've been eating this past month and am not sick of it yet. We had an uphill battle with Eli and eggs but now he's totally into them. My suggestion to you parents whose child refuses certain foods is DON'T give up and be creative. Scramble eggs WITH meat, use salsa, sprinkle a little garlic salt...whatever works and keep trying! I thought I'd never see the day Eli would eat what we eat but now he does. I hear a lot of parents have "vegetarian" kids and won't go near meat but Eli most definitely eats a ton of chicken, beef and pork. And I know I sound like a broken record here, but you have to experiment to see what works.

Here are a few of our little secrets:

"Bread" chicken with almond flour and dip in homemade ketchup. Serve with a side of honey glazed carrots.

Make meatballs with diced carrots, celery and spinach and top with yummy [homemade] marinara sauce. Serve with a side of spaghetti squash.

Wrap chicken breasts in bacon and bake with homemade bbq sauce and sliced apples. Eli gobbled this up so fast, I actually ran out!

Mash up some steamed cauliflower, add a dash of whole milk, a tablespoon of butter, some garlic salt and you've got something that totally resembles mashed potatoes. Another Eli favorite.

Dip pork chops in homemade apple sauce.

An awesome dessert? Put a super ripe banana in a food processor with a splash of coconut milk, a half tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder, some frozen fruit and possibly a small squeeze of honey for added sweetness. Eli went to town on this and probably would have ate a TON more if I let him.

And one of Eli's absolute favorites - coconut milk smoothies. I stopped making these for myself because I never got the chance to actually finish one with the boy around. Again, it's nothing more than coconut milk, coconut oil, almond butter and some fruit. If I feel like Eli didn't get a good meal or we're on the run, this is the answer.

As for us, Jim and I are enjoying some super yummy meals that are totally taking me back to our pre-Eli, trying-so-desperately-hard-to-get-pregnant days: Steak and asparagus, coconut shrimp, zucchini lasagna, baked cod, chicken wings, etc. Right now I get the majority of our meals from two cookbooks: Everyday Paleo and Make it Paleo. Both awesome books but I prefer the latter. Since I get so many request for food suggestions, I thought I'd throw the idea out there of posting our meal plan every 5 or 6 days. With the whole legality issue, I really can't write out the exact recipes but I figure it can't hurt to give you guys some ideas and a glimpse into our kitchen. Let me know if that's something you are interested it. Might be fun and would totally force me to get a little more creative!

So, the fun part - weight loss. I know that's what a lot of you are curious about, right? ;) As of this morning, I am 6 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. I consider that a HUGE HUGE HUGE accomplishment because 1) I plateaued at 10-15 lbs after Eli and didn't lose it all until he was 9 months - even with the so-called "perfect" diet and exercise, 2) I've actually yet to get on a consistent workout schedule and 3) I managed to lose this weight during the holidays. Pat on my back? Don't mind if I do. After a week or two of falling off the wagon with Christmas and New Years, I'm ready to jump right back in and say adios to these last remaining pounds. We're going to Florida at the end of February and my goal is to feel fabulous by then. Notice I didn't give a specific number...I'm slowly realizing how you look and feel is way better than that stupid number on the scale. I have to say though...yes, I'm still above my pre-pregnancy weight but I feel way less bloaty, floppy, and jiggly. As most women, I've always been on the quest for that perfect "diet" and I think I finally found my answer. I could definitely live and eat this way forever.

I've painted a pretty good picture for you guys, huh? That's my intent because I absolutely feel very strongly about this lifestyle and I've seen how it has affected our bodies and energy level. But I will admit that we're not perfect over here. For one thing, we don't buy organic fruits and veggies. I told Jim that since we're saving so much money by not buying meat now, I think we need to at least buy organic apples. He's on board.

We still feed Eli a lot of dairy and I'm totally okay with that because it's full fat and mostly organic. He gets cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese and of course, milk.

Jim wavers a lot more than me. When we eat outside the home, I still try to steer clear of off limit foods mainly because they don't appeal to me anymore, but Jim goes to town on all things non-Paleo. That boy is a food LOVER and has the appetite of a beast!

Unfortunately, there are some things that don't jive with me taste-wise. For one thing, baking with almond flour is just nasty. The gritty, rough texture is just something I can't get past and so I always gravitate towards recipes that call for coconut flour. Or I just say screw it and eat a cupcake in the way it was intended to be eaten....sugar, flour, the whole yummy nine yards! Another thing - I can't stomach the taste of coconut oil with my veggies, meat or eggs. Believe me, I've tried. A lot of recipes call for this but I can only stomach coconut oil in baked goods like Paleo banana "bread" or in sweet things like smoothies. I adore it though as a face wash and hand lotion.

And lastly, while I couldn't care less if I never see a piece of bread again in my life, I know I could never say good-bye to desserts and wine. Those will always be treats for me and I really don't feel guilty about that. I follow a lot of bloggers who are 100% Paleo but I know we'll always be an 80/20 family.

So that's where we are. Going strong and feeling zero burn out! Hopefully this gives some of you a better idea of the Paleo lifestyle. And if any of you want those meal ideas, let me know!

A Look Back, A Glimpse Ahead : NYE 2012

2011-12-30T08:58:00.004-06:00

Did the new year sneak up on anyone else? I can't believe it's already December 30th!

2011 - Quite possibly the most unplanned year of my entire life. One year ago, Jim and I were getting ready to celebrate New Year's Eve with our friends, Elizabeth and Aaron. Eli was just seven months old and I was on my way to getting my pre-baby body back. We thought 2011 would bring us many, many things, but what came along certainly wasn't expected! We had hoped for an acceptance letter to physical therapy school with classes beginning in June. While I was pretty depressed about leaving Eli all day long, I was really looking forward to starting this new journey in my life. Well, as you all know, despite some pretty good grades, I was not accepted into the program and thus began my official position as a stay-at-home-mom. Am I crazy to say that I believe with all my heart this was supposed to happen? The amount of peace I have about all of this just confirms I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Then the biggest doozy of them all. I got pregnant again in January! You could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out in February. Just this past Christmas, I told my family that if anyone told me last year that I'd have two babies by 12/25/11, I wouldn't have believed it. Trying to get pregnant? Sure. Freshly knocked up? Probably. But holding a two month old? Absolutely no way! Just goes to show you how much can change in the matter of one year. You walk in to a new year with certain anticipations and walk out with something completely different! I hate the belief that there aren't any more surprises as an adult [said by a lot of women who wait for the gender reveal on baby's birth day] because not only did I get the biggest surprise of my life, I also got one of the BEST surprises of my life at the age of 29.

Because I fell off the physical therapy road, I had to get serious about other career paths. In my heart of hearts, I really wanted to jump head first into my photography business. This past summer I made things official but because I was huge and pregnant I couldn't push the pedal to the metal. But I learned and accomplished a TON. I went to my first photography workshop held by Amy Wenzel, photographed a plethora of kids and families and was introduced to the amazing world of high school seniors portraits. 2011 was a great year photography-wise, not only in the business aspect but also in how much I've grown.

What else? Oh yes. Can't forget that I turned thirty in August! How on earth did that happen?

I'm not one to really lay out a bunch of goals for the new year. And with two kids it's going to be nearly impossible to hold myself to such high standards! But I'd like to make a list of things to look forward to in 2012. Like I said, these aren't resolutions or even goals that HAVE to be met. Just a few ideas of what I'd like to see...

1. Turn some of those Pinterest ideas into the real deal. Maybe attempt something once a month. A wall gallery here, a DIY craft there. Whatever sparks my interest.

2. Continue to follow the Paleo lifestyle and incorporate more of what I've learned into my daily life. Eat wholesome foods. Work out quick but intense. And just slow down and enjoy life more.

3. Take and KEEP more photos. Sometimes when you're behind the camera for clients, you tend to shun the idea of taking pictures for yourself. But I don't want to let these precious years with my babies get by me and so I'm going to make it a point to shoot like crazy. In that same breath, I'm not going to delete a picture just because it's not perfect. Who cares if it's blurry, tinted orange or composed incorrectly? If it's of my children, it's perfect in my eyes.

4. Read the Bible more. At the beginning of this year I started a great daily study called "Live a Praying Life". I stuck with it for a while but when morning sickness hit, I didn't have the energy or motivation to wake up before Eli and get in some quiet time. Sadly, I've yet to finish this book and now seems like a good time to get back on track.

5. Consistently and passionately teach Eli and Gabriella about Jesus. Teach them to pray. Show them how to live a Godly life. The most important thing and the one I fear I will fail the most at.

6. Fall more in love with Jim. Thankfully I've married a wonderful man and we still have a great marriage. It's just that at times the daily grind can get in the way of romance and the enjoyment of each other. I'd like to surprise my hubby with dates and show him how much I'm still crazy about him. I'm going to make it a point to turn the computer off, forget the TV and spend more time with the man I married.

7. NOT get pregnant! Haha! Sorry, just had to throw that one in there. It was supposed to be funny but believe me, there's truth to it :) I'm pretty sure I can say you won't be seeing any pregnancy announcements on this blog in 2012.

8. Focus, focus, focus and grow, grow, grow my photography business. This is where things tend to get scary! There's something nerve wracking about putting your business goals out there for all the world to see. But just know that ideas and plans are in the works. I'm hoping to enter a new area of photography [not weddings!] and plan on perfecting newborn portraits after I attend a workshop held by Keri Meyers in April. I've decided that instead of running away from my fears, I'm going to face them head on. I'm going to research, buy samples and offer all those "specialty" items I feel my work is unworthy of: mini accordion books, story boards and wall collages. I'm not going to let fear get in my way anymore!

9. Repaint and redecorate most rooms in this house which sort of goes with the Pinterest idea. Jim and I have talked a bit about the small changes we'd like to see in this house. We're definitely not going to spend money like crazy but a fresh coating of paint here and some new decorations there should be enough to give our home a new feel.

10. Blog more. I've been so sporadic in my writing these past few years and I'd really like to make this blog more of a priority. I didn't write about Jim's and my trip to New York this past May. I didn't document Gabriella's first Christmas. I love how I've preserved many memories these past few years but I've also missed a lot and that's hopefully about to change.

Happy New Years, friends! How do you all feel about this past year? Any plans for 2012?

Gabriella : Two Months

2011-12-27T07:13:00.011-06:00

Moving right along. Fast and furious.

Any resemblance yet?

Stats:
Weight - 9lbs, 6oz [20th percentile]
Height - 22 1/2 inches [50th percentile]
Head - 37 cm [20th percentile]

I'm not gonna lie. These past few weeks had their drastic ups and downs. The month started out with crying...lots and lots of crying. And fussiness. And a baby that wouldn't sleep, relax or lazily cuddle in your arms. It was frustrating and disheartening to hold Gabriella and feel like you were trying to contour a marble statue to your body. It seemed as if she wanted nothing to do with us and sadly there was little joy in holding her. The only solution seemed to be putting her down in the swing or on the play mat, but that only escalated the crying. And the biggest worry I had during my pregnancy came true this month as well. I remember wondering how on earth I'd manage Eli's bedtime routine AND meet the needs of a cluster feeding baby those nights Jim worked. And I was right. We've had our fair share of nights where I'd be getting Eli ready for bed and Gabriella would be in the other room screaming her head off. There were many moments I just wanted to lock myself in a closet and cry. I wished so much that I could be in two places at once. But of course, I'm one person and when Jim's not home, it's inevitable that there will be moments where one child will have to wait for me. The majority of the time it's Eli, but sometimes, sadly, it's Gabriella.

After a few weeks of total frustration on our end, I finally called our pediatrician on a Saturday morning and got a last minute appointment. My mother's intuition told me this wasn't just normal baby behavior and something was wrong with my Gabby. Whenever she cried she was as stiff as a board [you could literally just hold the tips of her fingers while she stood upright on your lap screaming away] and she was always clawing at her face or whatever else she could get her hand on. I figured it was either major tummy troubles or acid reflux. That morning I left the doctor's office with a prescription for Zantac and some hope that things were about to change. Within a day or so the medication seemed to be working. We also removed the bassinet from our room and had Gabriella sleeping upright in her bouncy seat. Things were definitely improving but if you've been reading my blog for the past few months, you know I now have some hesitancy towards traditional Western medicine's quick fixes. So, instead of just treating the symptoms and not fixing the problem, I took baby girl to see the chiropractor, something I have been meaning to do since she was born but never got around to it. A simple test showed she had some subluxations in her lower spine which, my chiropractor said, could have some bearing on her digestion tract. He performed some simple adjustments and I can honestly say it has worked wonders. I no longer give Gabriella the medication and we've gone from a discontent, uncomfortable baby to one who is mostly calm and sleeps A TON. Now, whenever she's a bit fussy, it's usually due to gas, a wet diaper or hunger. All things that easily can be fixed. Jim and I are much happier and a lot less tense. For a while there, I thought I was going to lose my mind and I so wished for a baby girl who wasn't in so much pain.

But enough of the sad stuff. This month also brought along Gabriella's first smile and just like Eli, when I first got glimpse of that gummy grin, my heart almost burst with excitement. Now she's able to give me that smile whenever I talk to her. It just melts my heart and I could stare at her all day long!

Some other good news? Let me prepare to run and hide after I tell all you other mamas this. I don't know how or why but Gabriella consistently sleeps 7 hours most nights. There are nights when she's up between 3 and 4 am but for the most part she sleeps anywhere from 9 at night until 5 the next morning. It's wonderful and awesome and yes, I know I'm spoiled rotten. But the thing is, I'm not naive and know this probably won't last. For one thing, Gabby is still in her bouncy seat next to our bed so right now she's all warm and cuddly swaddled up, wrapped in another fuzzy blanket and curled up in an upright position. I'm sure once she's back in the bassinet - something I keep putting off - or put in her crib for the first time, we'll be up all hours of the night. And we all know that infamous 4 month wakefulness we've yet to hit. So, while Gabriella might be sleeping through the night now, I know it won't last forever and I'm just enjoying it while I can!

At only two months old, I can already tell Gabriella has a lovey. My mom gave us this super soft pink blanket and it's pretty much the only blanket Gabriella can totally relax and fall asleep in. In fact, one random night this month, I was using another blanket since the pink one was in the wash and the little miss wouldn't stay asleep for me! After hours of getting up and nursing over and over again I finally came to the conclusion that it wasn't hunger, it was the stinkin' blanket. As soon as Jim came home that following morning I looked at him with exhaustion and said "let's never, ever go another night without that blanket!"

For the most part, nursing is still going well. I think I'll always be one of those moms who constantly questions her supply no matter what. At Gabriella's two month well baby check up, I confided in our pediatrician again about my fears of being an inadequate nursing mom and she gave me a long talk. Dr. H busted out the growth charts and showed me how well Gabriella is growing and said she was more than thrilled that Gabby gained almost two pounds in a month. She said I just need to relax a bit and have confidence that my body is doing just fine. To ease my fears though I have started up on Fenugreek again which seems to be doing the trick. Eating enough calories or drinking a ton of water seem to have no bearing on my milk output since Gabriella appears to guzzle the most milk on days I forget to keep up. For now I'm happy I can say we're still nursing and it's just a matter of taking it a day at a time.

The funny thing is, in the same breath that I'm questioning my supply, I'm also totally blown away at how much Gabriella has grown and changed! Seriously. She seems to have sprouted up over night and it's getting to the point where I'm missing the opportunity to get her in all those amazing [millions and millions] clothes. Just the other day I brought out an outfit I ordered from Old Navy which seemed "sooo big" to me not that long ago. And wouldn't you know...the legs were a tad too short of her. Hmpf! Lesson learned and now I'm trying to get every outfit on Gabriella at least once before she continues to grow like crazy.

On that same note, Gabby is also finally fitting into her Fuzzibunz cloth dipeys. I was getting tired of going through all those disposables these past two months, not to mention the fact that I felt like I was throwing away a ton of money when there were perfectly fine cloth diapers sitting in her room. But they leaked almost immediately no matter how tight I secured the legs and waist. A week ago I decided to give it a go again and the pee was finally contained. Thank goodness because I CANNOT imagine the amount of money it would take to have two children in disposable diapers. Since we still put Eli in a 'sposie at bedtime, I had to buy both him and Gabriella a stash from Target a few weeks ago and just couldn't fathom paying that amount of money over and over again.

I really can't believe my baby girl is already two months. These weeks have just flown by and while there are some difficult moments, I fall more and more in love with my little lady every single day!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T10:53:00.004-06:00

Since Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas today...while people are still on the Internet :)

We're just finishing up some last minute stuff around here. The nativity set never made it's appearance but my house is still full of jolly fun :) Eli is running around in his diaper and constantly putting toys next to Gabriella. I just got done chowing down on chocolate covered almonds and sipping on a big mug of coffee. The Christmas spirit has arrived and I'm just very thankful this morning for my chaotic, happy life!

Next week I promise to get some posts up that have been on my mind. Until then....Merry Christmas! [And yes, even to you, anonymous commenter who said I was ugly in my last post :)]

Truth

2011-12-19T19:48:00.013-06:00

I bought shapewear for $7.99 tonight at TJ Maxx.

While I'm happy about my weight loss progression I just can't stomach the idea of seeing my protruding gut in a dress on Christmas day.

I'm wearing the wacky thing now and not impressed.

The fat doesn't just disappear.

It gets dispersed.

Pinterest makes me feel completely inadequate - as a mother, homeowner and photographer. And yet I go back....day....after day...after day, and I love it.

I may have, um, enhanced my "beauty" on our family Christmas card this year.

Skin smoothing. Check.

Under eye repair. Check.

And I used the liquify tool.

If you a Photoshop guru, you know what that means ;)

I'm currently swatting Eli's hand away from this keyboard every 2 seconds and my blood is beginning to B-O-I-L.

I own all Canon equipment but beginning to think I should have gone Nikon.

Something about all those fabulous focal points.

I cleared off the top of the entertainment center for our nativity set. It's still packed away in the basement.

My entertainment center is still empty.

Christmas is in how many days?

There's a small part of me that is completely envious of formula feeding mamas.

They don't have to wonder if their babies are starving.

They can work out and eat whatever they want.

And they can wear fabulous clothes without having to consider access to the boob.

My Christmas outfit does not have easy access to the boob which means I'll be locking myself in a bedroom so I can undress to the waist numerous times.

Joy.

I hate pumping.

Hate it.

Jim worked yesterday and the kiddos and I hung out in the living room, in pj's, all day long.

I watched like 5 movies - Let's see if I can remember them: The Heartbreak Kid, The Break Up, Home Alone 2, The Hangover, Wedding Crashers, and a few minutes of The Wedding Planner.

But I can't stand Jennifer Lopez so I turned it off.

Bradly Cooper, on the other hand, rocks my world.

Not in Wedding Crashers though.

Ew.

I wasn't completely lazy though. I managed to work out AND shower.

But I forgot to brush my teeth.

I made some fabulous Paleo banana bread last week.

However, I think I negated the nutritional value of it by adding a whole bag of dark chocolate chips.

I ate the whole loaf in two days.

By myself.

Which means I ate a whole bag of chocolate chips in two days.

By myself.

Diet fail.

Eli is no longer trying to get to the keyboard anymore. He's across the room and just turned on my pump.

Full speed.

I hate that thing.

The pump, not Eli.

Even though I've never had the guts to do it, sometimes I want to be "that person" who leaves an annonymous comment on a blog.

Some bloggers write ridonkulous things.

I probably should unsubscribe to them.

But I don't.

Oh - Jim and I started hiding some of Eli's toys.

The annoying ones.

As a SAHM, I hear those dang things all day long and let me tell you, it can drive a person insane.

Speaking of insane, I wanted to murder the self checkout machine at the grocery store this morning.

What do you mean there's an unexpected item in my bagging area?!

I'm going to implement my own version of the 5 second rule in the self check out lane.

If the machine doesn't get it's act together in 5 seconds, my groceries are free.

Sounds awesome, right?

I think I'm going to take a warm bath after Eli goes to bed tonight.

I need it.

I love my family but sometimes mama needs a recharge :)

I Want to Blog More, Dang it!

2011-12-17T13:49:00.005-06:00

That title pretty much sums it up.

I want to write about Gabriella's six week growth spurt and how our lives went from easy to "oh my gosh, I want to pull my hair out!"

I want to tell you about the day I called my mom crying and how she was at my door step in two seconds flat to help out with a hysterical baby girl [and mama].

I want to share how my chiropractor has saved the day yet again and has given me a happy, content child after a few minor adjustments.

I want to write about mommy guilt and my thoughts on this topic ever since I began to question my milk supply for the second time.

I want to write about the most freaking awful 24 hour flu bug that hit out house a few weeks ago and how Jim and I managed to puke our brains out [simultaneously] and take care of two children all at once.

I want to write about how fabulously well I'm sticking to the Paleo diet and how much weight I have easily lost.

I want to write about all the awesome recipes and dishes Jim and I have made and how I can't wait to dig into our 100 pounds of grass fed beef and the care package we will be receiving monthly from a local farm.

I want to tell you how one planned day of "cheating" and splurging on sugar sends me into a downward spiral and keeps me craving more.

I want to tell you about the toddler diaper from hell and how I managed to gag my way through that entire process.

I want to share how I called my mom afterwards and thanked her for all those years of holding my hair back as a child as I violently puked right in front of her.

I want to share with you my hopes and dreams for my photography business in 2012 and the steps I'm taking to see those come to fruition.

But...I have TWO children now and oh my goodness, where does my day go? I promise you [and myself] that I will sit down and write soon. Just consider this a way of me saying "hey, I'm still here. And surviving....."

Eli - Eighteen Months

2011-11-27T09:28:00.022-06:00

Gah...it's November 30th and I'm so behind on this update! Eli turned 18 months on November 17th and between Gabriella's update, Thanksgiving and a fierce flu bug that hit our house this week, I haven't been able to sit down and compose this post. Both babies are sleeping at the moment- Think I can type fast enough?!

I can honestly say this is by far the most fun Jim and I have had with Eli. He's old enough to communicate with us now so we're slightly through that frustration stage and we still have six months to go before hitting those terrible two's. As our pediatrician put it, this is the calm before the storm. I'm loving the calm.... definitely not looking forward to the storm!

Like most toddlers, Eli is such a funny kid. Not a day goes by that Jim and I aren't busting a gut over his antics. Whenever he lets one rip, we'll ask, "Are you tootin'?" and of course, Eli responds with a grunt, red face and the biggest effort I've ever seen to squeeze out another loud fart. It's downright hilarious and while I don't want to be that family that cracks up over flatulence, I can't help but stifle a giggle every time he does this.

However, there is a humorous behavior we do condone and that is his dancing. I have NO idea where my child got his moves from but Eli loves to play with the ring tones on my phone and dance away. Well, dance is kind of a stretch. He actually stands with his legs wide apart and does this "get low" move while bobbing his head. He did this for the first time on Thanksgiving and everyone watching, including me, couldn't help but crack up. I was thisclose to posting a video of this but then I watched it and realized I look like hell x's 1000 -it was early Friday morning when we recorded it and there's nothing pretty about a sleep deprived, mascara stained mommy face. You'll have to take my word on this...it's dang funny.

Ok, one more hilarious story for you before moving on. This was one of those moments where I just knew I needed to write this down in Eli's baby book because it made me laugh so hard. So, my maternity jeans are pretty huge on me and while my pre-preg jeans fit, I still feel a tad hoochie mama in them. Needless to say I'm still sporting the paneled pants even if they fall down a hundred times a day. Anyway, the other night I was leaning over the tub giving Gabriella a bath and Eli came up behind me. All of a sudden, I felt a little finger poke my butt crack! Apparently my jeans had slid down and when Eli got a glimpse of my plumber's crack, he just had to let me know in an oh-so-obvious way. I turned around so fast and as God as my witness, Eli had the most knowing smirk on his face. Right there on the bathroom floor, I lost it and couldn't stop laughing. This definitely fell into the "Jim, you WON'T believe what Eli did" category. My guy just "cracks" me up ;)

We're starting to see a very loving side to Eli recently. He adores Gabriella and nothing makes me happier than seeing Eli run up and give Gabriella a kiss every time she starts to cry or fuss. Honestly, that kid would smooch her all day long if he could. At first we'd ask him to give baby girl some love but now he does it completely on his own. Eli is also very generous with those kisses with us and pretty much anyone else. I especially love it when he leans in to me after we have one of our timeout talks. I like to think of it as his way of saying I'm sorry. Or maybe that's just his way of getting out of a longer time out! Anyway, Jim also introduced Eli to a teddy bear this month and now our little guy snuggles with it at bedtime every night. In fact, Eli will actually try to climb INTO his crib throughout the day. One morning it completely blew me away when I helped him back in bed and he laid down with the bear and fell asleep. It was almost two whole hours before nap time but I didn't have the heart to wake him up. And he looked just so gosh darn cute.

Not only does Eli shower Gabriella with love, but he's also an amazing helper. While I was pregnant, I read one of the best ways to ease a toddler into big brother mode was to have him help with the new baby. I honestly didn't think this would apply to us since Eli was still pretty young but he has proven me wrong in the best way possible. After every diaper change, Eli eagerly takes the dirty diaper from me and walks it to the nearest garbage can [which has also resulted in him throwing a TON of other non-garbage things into the trash can but you take the good with the bad, I suppose!]. He also picks up her soothie whenever it falls and at times I'll glance into the living room to see Eli put it back in Gabriella's mouth. And one of my most favorite things ever - it's so stinkin' cute I could die - is when Eli shushes Gabriella to sleep right along with me. One night I was mindlessly sitting on the couch rocking and shushing when I looked down at Eli and he was right in sync with me. Of course, he has added his own exaggerated toddler touch to it - He leans his head back while inhaling as loud as he can and then slowly brings his head down while saying "ssssshhhhh". It seriously the cutest thing I've seen this kid do and I must make it a point to get it on video before this phase ends.

This boy's brain has definitely been at work and I feel like a lot of things are clicking for Eli these past two months. He can now put together his chunky puzzle with ease. Books are FINALLY appealing to him and if we pass up reading time before bed, he kind of goes ballistic. Jim has taught him the rest of the major body parts and Eli can point them out with no problem. [My favorite is the "stinky feetsies" because he tries to stuff his entire foot in his mouth and laughs up storm while doing so.] Eli can also point out people in pictures and is able to bring us specific toys if asked. He has also finally understood that he can ask us for help by taking our hands and showing us what he needs. This has thankfully eliminated a ton of unnecessary temper tantrums.

We're also constantly spelling Eli's name to him. What's hilarious is how he spells it back to us. I'll say "Eeeeeeeeeeeee" to which Eli responds with "OOoooooooooooooo". At the moment I can't totally remember how he says L and I but I'm sure as heck it's nothing close to how they should be pronounced!

Eli is also craving a ton of independence now. Meals are pretty much unsuccessful unless we let him use a fork or spoon all by himself. It sure does make for one messy kitchen but that's how kids learn, right? Eli is also into using a q-tip and whenever I let sit him on the bathroom counter, I can be sure to throw away about eight bajillion q-tips after he has put every single one of them in his ear. Don't worry, I'm always right next to him to avoid any misuse of the swab.

Curiosity might be Eli's middle name because this kid wants his hands in everything. In fact, I can't help but feel a bit of anxiety every time I open up the fridge, pantry, closet or dishwasher because I soon hear the pitter patter of little boy feet running my way and I just know he's dying to get his hands on whatever he can. I'm not gonna lie...this results in a very angry child if and when I say "don't touch". The best way to overcome those tantrums? Enthusiastically say "thank you!!" as you close the door as if it was the toddler's idea. I kind of get a kick out of the happy, confused look on Eli's face every time I do this.

Eli finally understands the significance and importance of holding our hands in public places. And I'm just beginning to feel comfortable letting him walk next to me in parking lots. Instead of running in every direction imaginable, he has now once or twice held our hands and WALKED IN A STRAIGHT LINE on his own free will. Again, miracle anyone? This has obviously been a huge milestone for us since we now have Gabriella to carry.

We're no where near potty training but we starting to introduce Eli to the whole idea of going to the bathroom. He now points to his diaper whenever he goes and if asked to, he'll sit on his little potty. What's hilarious is he's yet to actually use it and has in fact, pee'd on the floor mere seconds after getting off the pot. That connection has yet to be made in my boy's head. It's still definitely early so we're feeling zero pressure over here. And am I crazy to admit that I don't mind changing those diapers?! My sappy side says potty training will just be another step away from those infant years. And we all know I'm a blubbering idiot every time I talk about that, right?

To end, I'll leave you with a totally insignificant tidbit but one that deserves to go into Eli's baby book because it definitely symbolizes these past two months. My boy is crazy obsessed with two firetruck toys. One is truck that actually moves back and forth and screams out these obnoxious sayings and sirens ["What's your ETA? - I'll be there is two minutes!"] And the other is ride along toy that I just HAD to bring in from the garage because every time we came home, Eli would throw a fit if I didn't let him play with it before coming into the house. It has three of the most annoying songs and believe me when I say I sing these stinking songs all day long because I can't get them out of my head..."Never fear I'm on my way. Here I come. I'll save the day. You can count on me in an e-mer-gen-cy. Don't be scared, I'll be right there." Thankfully you all don't know the melody of these songs so you're not quite as doomed as I am. But wow, there are times I'm tempted to hide those toys for a day or two just to give my poor brain a rest!

Eighteen months. Quite possibly my favorite age yet! I feel spoiled knowing life is so awesome with my little guy and yet we've only just begun :)

Oh, P.S. - Yeah, his hair. We just can't keep up. I fully accept the fact that my kid looks incredibly disheveled 90% of the time! I'm not gonna lie...when we have "big" outings, we bust out the hair products ;)

Gabriella : One Month

2011-11-21T15:43:00.007-06:00

Stats:

Weight - 7 lbs, 8 oz (10th percentile - I breed small babes!)

Height - 20 1/4 inches (25th percentile - She grew over two inches in a month!)

Head circumference - 35 3/4 inches

I know what you're all thinking and let me be the first to extinguish any false assumptions. My children DO in fact have the same father. Even though my children look nothing alike, rest assured, we don't have a baby daddies situation going on over here.

However, looking at the above picture really makes me scratch my head and wonder how Jim and I made such different looking kids!

We've dissected every feature on Eli and Gabriella, discussed this at length and have come to our own conclusion: Even though at first glance, Eli looks a lot like Jim, he actually has a lot of my attributes. For instance, the dark thick hair comes from me. Both of our noses have a curved, scooped bridge and the pronounced eyebrows and dark features are all me. Everyone still says he looks identical to Jim so we've decided Eli is just a good mixture of the both of us. Gabriella, on the other hand, pretty much got every single Weiss gene there is. I look at her and still can't believe she somehow has a part of my genetic code programmed into her DNA. She looks NOTHING like me. Light hair, big eyes and no dark features...this little lady is her daddy to a T. I'm curious and anxious to see how her looks will evolve over the next few months. Think this mommy can get a little credit in the creation of this baby girl?

I suppose this next topic could be it's own blog post by itself but why not just speak to it here? The transition from one to two kids has been pretty darn easy for Jim and I. There are definitely moments when we have our hands full but for the most part it doesn't feel like life has been shaken to its core. I still remember those first few weeks with Eli and trying to get used to our new "normal". Our schedules were affected, we couldn't easily do things we were used to and even our house had a different energy to it. But I honestly feel like we came home from the hospital with Gabriella and life continued right where it left off.

My mom has even noted how different I am this time around. She said I'm coming across very calm and nonchalant and I guess that's pretty much how I feel. I suppose there's less of the unknown when you just did this 17 months ago. I remember what it was like to wake up numerous times a night. Breastfeeding is kind of like riding a bike...once you know how to do it, you don't forget. And whenever I feel frustrated or at the end of my rope, I know that this is all going to pass. So, yeah, much easier the second time around which I hope is encouragement to all of your mamas out there expecting number 2.

That's not to say it's smooth sailing all the time though. Jim went back to work 3 weeks after Gabriella was born and I was definitely nervous about my ability to juggle two kids. With Eli I was more concerned over my mental and emotional state....could I handle a crying baby for 24 hours straight? But this time I was more concerned over the physical aspect and wondered how I'd manage to hold, cuddle and entertain two babies at once. I will say, for the most part, I've got this. But I do have my moments where I feel my blood pressure rise. For instance, when I have a screaming baby in the swing and my toddler is running away from me during a diaper change. I just want to finish the task so I can soothe Gabriella. Or when Eli needs to be fed breakfast and the little lady just won't let me put her down. Sometimes I just want to say, "Baby girl, PLEASE give mama just 5 minutes to scramble these eggs!" But those moments are few and far between and I've yet to have a major meltdown. Miraculously I've even survived Jim's first 48 hour shift, which was totally unexpected. I hadn't planned on being super mom so soon but after Jim's second day back at work, they had a shift fill in and not one to pass up 24 hours of overtime, he took it. Things actually went pretty well and I was able to keep the three of us entertained but I was really glad to see my husband walk through the door two days later. Even though both children were very well behaved, you can't help but feel on edge all the time just waiting for a temper tantrum or inconsolable crying.

But this should really be about Gabriella and what she's been up to this month, huh? Those first two weeks were almost too good to be true. She slept ALL THE TIME! It was almost too easy and one morning Jim rolled over and said to me, "Is this for real?" We honestly thought we hit the jackpot and brought home the easiest baby ever. But then week two hit and we realized Gabriella is extremely difficult to put to sleep. She's a notorious cat napper and when it's time for bed at night, we honestly can go through HOURS of her sleeping and waking every 10 minutes. As you all know, based on my most recent post, she kept me up for a solid 24 hours because she just wouldn't sleep for a long stretch of time. I love my baby girl but dang, sometimes it's really frustrating when your sleeping baby pops her eyes open and you have to start the whole process over again. The fabulous news is when she sleeps and we get her nice and comfy in her bassinet, Gabriella can snooze for hours! Last night, she slept from 10 pm until 4: 30 in the morning. It was glorious and I just hope it's a sign of what's to come.

In the grand scheme of things, Gabriella is actually a pretty easy baby. Unlike Eli, she doesn't have bouts of inconsolable crying. In fact, if you give her what she wants, she stops crying immediately. Like most newborns the hardest part is just finding the time to get things done because she wants to be held and cuddled all the time. I've used my Moby a ton more than I did with Eli but there are times when Gabriella isn't having it and constantly pushes against me. That's when I pretty much have to put her down and let her cry for a couple of minutes while I finish up dinner or feed Eli. It's a juggling act, for sure, but one I've been able to handle.

Nursing is going fabulously well. Again, a pretty big difference from my experience with Eli. By this point with him I was constantly questioning my supply and frustrated with the fact that he couldn't sit through a feeding without kicking and squirming. But Gabriella is way more docile and drinks away without a fight. At her one month well baby check-up our pediatrician was very happy with her weight gain and growth and told me to keep up the good work. I'm incredibly calm about things this time around and have only had one day where I felt as though I wasn't producing enough which was the day after she kept me up all night. I feel like I need a couple hours of sleep to recharge those boobs after a day of breastfeeding. Anyone else with me on that? Anyway, I'm thrilled with how things are going in the nursing department and just pray they continue as they are.

Just to note: Baby girl has had a busy month and been to numerous places. She's been to the zoo twice. We've gone to several parks, mostly though for Eli's sanity. She's been to a 40th birthday party and to my grandma's new apartment. And of course, Gabriella has gone with mommy on a few shopping sprees and behaved unbelievably well. Am I crazy that I already have visions of shopping with my little girl when she's older? It's going to be so much fun.

I think that pretty much sums up month one of little Gabby's life. It's odd going from those detailed filled toddler updates to one about a newborn. We love our baby girl and can't wait to see what's ahead of us :)

30 Hours

2011-11-17T11:58:00.004-06:00

That's how long I've gone without a wink of sleep.

I'm tired.

I've never pulled an all-nighter with my babies. Apparently I was due. Gabriella was not having it last night no matter how long or how much we rocked or shushed. Oh, she'd fall asleep alright but once we set her down in the bassinet, she'd stir and start to cry. I've never felt my heart drop so fast in those moments where I'd get comfy in bed and hear her rousing. Co-sleeping didn't even do the trick.

On a typical night the little lady sleeps about 4 1/2 hours in her bassinet and is usually up between 2 and 3 am. That's when we nurse and snuggle in bed together for the rest of the night. I cherish those four hours of sleep. They are precious and priceless to me because you know the saying "sleep when baby sleeps"? Yeah...not so much when you have another child to take care of. If I don't sleep at night, I don't sleep. Period.

Around 4:00 I knew all hope was lost so I moved to the living room to watch TV. When the morning news showed a picture of today's sunrise, that's when I lost it. I started crying right here on my couch. I was SO TIRED. I kept thinking of last night and how I could barely keep my eyes open watching Modern Family and yet, here I was 8 hours later wide awake with no opportunity to close my eyes.

I guess this is just another part of mommy-hood. One day Gabriella will let me sleep. But until then, man, I'm tired.

Thoughts on Controversial Co-Sleeping Ad?

2011-11-16T07:23:00.003-06:00

Right now Milwaukee [where I live in case you didn't know] is making national headlines. Last night I came across this article on Yahoo! and this morning the story has already been on The Today Show and The View. And it's all due to a new controversial ad campaign. Milwaukee has one of the highest infant mortality rates and in an effort to save these babies, the Health Department created billboards which depict a baby sleeping next to a knife with the tag line "Your baby sleeping next to you can be just as dangerous".

As a mama to an 18 month old who I barely slept with and a newborn who I sleep with all the time, this has piqued my interest. I've obviously approached our sleeping habits differently with both children and honestly it has a lot less to do with my desires and a lot more to do with what each individual child needed/needs. From what I've seen, Eli is way more independent whereas Gabriella craves being close to mommy. I'll happily give my babies what they want...

Anyway, check out the ads and let me know your thoughts. Did our Health Department go too far? Are they not telling the whole story [that most co-sleeping deaths are drug and alcohol related]. Do you or did you co-sleep with your children?

I'll be honest with you. These ads don't necessarily bother me nor do I find them offensive or difficult to swallow. I consider myself pretty educated on these things and I know that an exclusively breastfeeding mama is much more in tune with her baby both awake and while asleep. Most of the time Gabriella and I stir at the same time and that's when I feed her while we both doze off again. It works great for us and our family.

But I'm curious to know your thoughts. Feel free to share!

A Tale of Two Pregnancies

2011-11-14T11:11:00.017-06:00

I've now been pregnant twice and have thankfully carried both babies to term. I've had a boy and a girl. I delivered in Spring [May] and in Fall [October]. I've basked in pregnancy glow during the holidays and baked in pregnancy hell during some hot summer months. And while both pregnancies were pretty similar for the most part, they definitely had their differences. Little Gabriella will be four weeks old tomorrow and before all memories of pregnancy fade, I want to document how different it was carrying both of my children.

Let's start at the veeeeery beginning.

Planned vs Unplanned: As you all know, Eli was a planned pumpkin as we tried for almost a year before conceiving him. For 10 months or so, I took my temperature, charted and we timed all those baby making activities. Gabriella, on the other hand, was a HUGE surprise. I breastfed for 7 1/2 months, got one period and found out I was pregnant a month later. I didn't even have the chance to comprehend the fact that I was fertile again. Even though these seem like two completely different situations, both positive pregnancy tests were a total surprise. The two cycles of conception didn't involve "trying". With Eli we decided to take a break from everything and that was the month I got my BFP. As much as I despise this advice, I might just be the poster child for "if you relax it will happen."

The First Sign: I spotted very early on with both pregnancies. Since I wasn't charting the month I got pregnant with Eli, I have no idea what DPO the spotting began. I just remember going to the bathroom before bed on Labor Day 2009 and seeing the beginning of what I thought was my period. I crawled into bed, told Jim and we both agreed that it would have been "kind of cool and totally ironic" to get pregnant the month we stopped trying. I spotted on and off all week and finally caved out of pure frustration that following Friday afternoon. Within seconds the test was positive indicating to me that I was probably "very" pregnant and past the day my period was due. With Gabriella I also spotted. Again, before hitting the hay on a Friday evening, I went to the bathroom and saw my "period". By morning, all bleeding had stopped and that was when I had my suspicions. I kept my eye on things all weekend but Aunt Flo never made her appearance. That Monday morning I took a test which again was positive 2 seconds later. In both cases, the spotting stopped as soon as I got my BFP. Do you think it was God's way of tapping me on the shoulder and saying "Hey...take a test!"?

Morning Sickness: Ugh, do I have to remember this? Quite possibly the worst experience of my life. Both babies made me terribly sick. And while I was out of commission for both first trimesters, each experience was still different. With Eli, the grossness set in at 5 weeks. That's right...I had about one week of new pregnancy bliss before bowing down to the porcelain god every morning. Smells made me especially nauseous. I still remember going to our newly remodeled bank with Jim and that "new" smell turned my stomach. As soon as we got into the car, I hurled my entire breakfast into the vomit bag Jim provided from work. There was also a strange smell that permeated from a corner of my living room that made me gag and run to the bathroom. Problem was...no one else could smell it and to this day, even I can't smell anything so it was probably just my imagination. After struggling through normal daily activities I finally got an Rx for Zofran which was heaven sent. It worked like a charm and I felt like me again. I tried tapering off the meds once the first trimester was behind me but a few hours after I missed a dose, I was deathly ill. I think I was finally able to stop refilling my prescription around the 20 week mark. With Gabriella I had a few more weeks before that morning sickness kicked in. While I was utterly miserable, I wasn't puking as much. And again, after a week or two of being useless, I called in for my Zofran. This time though, the medication just took the edge off. I still didn't feel like myself but was able to function and take care of my toddler. Luckily I was able to kick those meds to the curb shortly after my first trimester.

Other Early Symptoms: I felt pregnant much earlier with Eli than I did with Gabriella. I immediately had tender breasts and my ab muscles even felt sore. On my second go-around, if it hadn't been for the morning sickness, I don't think I would have even believed I was pregnant. During that glorious second trimester, days would go by and I wouldn't give a thought to the fact that we were expecting our second child. Between the lack of symptoms and having to take care of a toddler, it was much harder to give this pregnancy all the attention it deserved.

Skin Changes: When I'm not pregnant, I get about 2 zits a year. When I am pregnant, I never ever break out. Both babies gave me fabulously clear skin regardless of how many times I forgot to wash my face in the evenings. That's probably the one and only arena pregnancy has served me well :) Well, that and the fact that I got two much wanted babies at the end.

With Eli, I got a pretty dark linea negra that made its appearance in my second trimester. With Gabriella, there was absolutely no sign of one until the very end and even then it was super faint. Mr. Eli James gave me teeny tiny stretch marks on the right side of my belly. One lonesome stretchie made its appearance around 34 weeks and it wasn't until after I delivered that I discovered a few surrounding ones. A little time and TLC pretty much made them completely unnoticeable and I was sporting a bikini that summer. The little miss, however, made those suckers worse. And when I say worse, it's worse for me [because I'm psycho like that]. I'm still pretty lucky in that they are below my belly button and not really "raging". Most of the time you can barely see them, expect of course, when I stand 2 centimeters from our full length mirror and inspect them from every angle possible. Again, I'm confident with time and some skin pampering, all will be well again. I've learned that in my case the FEAR of stretch marks is a million times worse than the reality of them. You'll see me sporting a two piece again.

Showing/Maternity Clothes: Between blog hopping and real life friends, I've discovered there are two types of people. Those who show early and hate it and those who show late and hate it. Both receive rude comments and both are constantly trying to justify why they look the way they do. I'm that person whose belly pops almost immediately. However, looking back with Eli, I don't think I looked as pregnant early on as I thought I did. It's really all subjective based on your starting point, I guess. But I was, in fact, in maternity jeans before entering that second trimester. I naturally lean towards tight fitting clothes so that might have something to do with it. Since I'm an early shower, I can't really say I looked pregnant any sooner with Gabriella. Both babies apparently just wanted to make their appearance known right away :)

Weight Gain and Swelling: Much to my dismay, I packed on 35 pounds with both babies. I really thought I'd avoid that this time around with Gabriella but the scale at my last appointment delivered the bad news. Oh well ... this is me not caring :) Anyway, even though I gained the same amount both pregnancies, the rate at which it came on was very, very different. The scale climbed fast and furious right away with Eli. In fact, I didn't gain a single pound in my third trimester with him. On the other hand, I stayed at the same weight with Gabriella until I was in my second trimester and slowly went up from there. While my gain decelerated with Eli, it accelerated with Gabby and I saw the biggest climb in my third trimester, right at the very end. Water weight, perhaps?

The swelling issue confuses me. The majority of my pregnancy with Eli was during those cold winter months and yet I swelled like crazy. Elephant feet crazy. My wedding ring went on hiatus before I was even 20 weeks!!! And yet, being pregnant in summer - and a HOT summer at that -didn't cause any water retention. My ankles were slim and svelte for 30+ weeks and didn't expand until a week or two before I delivered. And even then it didn't hold a candle to the swelling I had with Eli. With Gabby, my wedding ring didn't come off until I was 38 weeks and thankfully I'm already wearing it again. Did I ever tell you all about that time I forced my ring on WEEKS after having Eli and ended up getting it cut off in the jewelry store a few hours later? Yeah....not fun...and not painless AT ALL.

Annoying Pain/Symptoms: Two really strange things come to mind with Eli. First off was that horrid Tinnitus. I couldn't escape the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears 24/7. Trying to fall asleep at night was the worst! And then there was the pregnancy induced carpal tunnel. Every morning I woke up with numb, painful hands and I still remember having a difficult time writing or using a fork while eating breakfast. And maybe because it was the first time my body was preparing to have a baby, but I had some wicked sore hips too with Eli, especially at the end of the pregnancy. Luckily, I managed to escape all of those with Gabriella but that isn't to say I wasn't in any pain. I was probably in MORE pain this time around. An excruciating back ache had me seeing a chiropractor two times a week. And baby girl must have been laying funky because there were weeks when I felt like my stomach was going to bust open from all the outward pressure. It was especially painful on my left side. Wanna hear something interesting? The top of Gabriella's left ear was scrunched those first few days after birth and if I'm picturing this correctly, that would explain the localized pain I felt from her hanging out on one side of my belly.

Cravings: I had practically no cravings with baby girl but I couldn't eat oranges fast enough with Eli. Yesterday he ate a whole can of mandarin oranges in two seconds flat. Coincidence?

Labor: Ah, the fun part :) Let's start with Eli. He made his appearance at 39w4d with no induction. Labor itself lasted pretty much 24 hours exactly. When I tell people this, they cringe, but that includes the first painless contraction all the way up to the second I pushed him out of my body. I woke up on a Sunday morning at 4 am to what felt like period cramps. While I felt those contractions all day long, they didn't get serious until 5 pm. We got to the hospital around 7 pm, entered epidural bliss around 9 pm, started pushing around 2 am and had baby boy at 3:56 am. Gabriella was born at 38w4d and a membrane sweep may or may not have induced labor. It's true what they say....that second baby comes much faster! My whole labor experience with baby girl lasted a whole 6 1/2 hours. Contractions started at 4 pm and got painful around 6 pm. Like Eli, we arrived at the hospital in the 7 o'clock hour and got that epi around 9. This time though,I dilated crazy fast and instead of pushing for two hours, I did it in 20 minutes. Can I get a Hallelujah, Amen to that? Gabriella was born at 10:24 pm. I still think it's crazy that I woke up that morning pregnant and NOT in labor and went to bed that night with baby girl in my arms. Pretty fabulous timeline if you ask me :)

Comparing these two pregnancies makes me realize I had some pretty different experiences. At times it was hard and felt like I couldn't muster up the energy to get through another day, especially the second time around. But looking back, it was all worth it. Before conceiving Eli, I asked God for my "babies" [yes, plural] and begged for the chance to experience every aspect of pregnancy. It's safe to say He absolutely answered ALL of my prayers :)

Nothing is Sacred

2011-11-07T10:22:00.003-06:00

So, there's a humorous part of Gabriella's birth story that I left out. Well, it's not part of the actual birth, per se but it did happen in the delivery room when baby girl was still less than 2 hours fresh.

I hope this doesn't come across as bragging but my dear husband gets hit on....a lot. Of course, I think he's an uber attractive guy so maybe I'm biased. But ask anyone else who knows Jim pretty well and I think they'll agree that he can still make heads turn. I've learned throughout the years that it doesn't even matter if I'm around. Back when we were dating, a whole bunch of us decided to hit up the clubs downtown as a farewell celebration for Elizabeth and Aaron who were moving up to Green Bay. My ladies and I were out on the dance floor for, like, no more than 5 minutes, when we spotted across the club a swarm of girls surrounding our men. We were all "oh no, they didn't!" and by our guys' sides within seconds to give the message loud and clear that they were taken.

Since Jim and I have since abandoned our out-all-night ways, I'm not giving those death glares as often. But as you guys know, my husband is a firefighter and when he's out serving the public in uniform, some women tend to get crazy. For instance, there was the 20-something girl who sent her child to ask Jim if he was single when he was working at our city's "National Night Out" event. Then there was the high school football game where Jim and another firefighter stood by the ambulance and the cheerleading coach had two of her girls inquire about Jim's marital status. And just a few weeks ago my husband was standing on the corner on a major intersection for their annual Fill The Boot fundraiser [people drive by and give money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association] and a woman walked up with a bunch of cash. She told Jim she was from the salon/spa across the street and when he looked that way, he saw a bunch of girls standing in the window. As soon as he made eye contact with them, they all started giggling and waving.

Jim is a pretty quiet, humble guy so I usually get wind of these stories from other firefighters or from Jim himself after I pry for details. The funny thing is I find these situations, well....funny. I'm really not a jealous person so when a story like this surfaces we're pretty much laughing over here on our end. And so, that's exactly what we are doing whenever we recall what happened mere hours after I gave birth to our second child.

Jim and I were still in the delivery room and preparing to head up to the third floor. Our nurses finally had the chance to take a break after 2 1/2 hours and were out at their station presumably socializing with their co-workers. After a while, our main nurse came back to transport us and as soon as she entered the room she asked Jim a slew of questions - "Do you have a twin brother?", "Do you have a sister named Ann?", "Did you used to work for a landscaping company?" to which we answered yes, yes, and yes. When Jim raised an eyebrow like "uh..how do you know this about me?", she informed us that not one but TWO other L&D nurses on the floor "knew" my husband. After exchanging more details, Jim was pretty sure he knew who they were. Anyway, I got settled into the wheelchair with my new baby girl in my arms and we all headed out into the hallway. As soon as we approached the nurses' station, I heard some giggling and looked their way [and smiled, of course]. They were all watching us and right when Jim was in their sight, we heard in a sing-song voice, "Helllooooooo, Jim Weiss", followed by some more giggling. It was awkward. It was weird. It was the strangest 10 seconds of my life. And yet, even though there was some slight disrespect towards me, the mother of his child, I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. How ironic that child birth - a symbol of love and marriage, and uh...not to mention SEX - isn't even able to deflect flirtation from other women. It was then that I realized nothing is sacred these days.

So that, my friends, is the story of how my husband got hit on mere hours after I gave birth to our second child. A story that, I'm sure, will continue to make us laugh for years to come.

Gabriella's Birth Story

2011-10-30T14:07:00.015-06:00

It's been two weeks since Gabriella has graced us with her presence. As cliche and corny as this sounds, I can't imagine my life without her. Even though Jim and I are sleep deprived and cranky during those late evening/early morning hours, I can't help but feel an overwhelming love for my little girl. Here's the story of how Ms Gabriella came into our lives....and let me warn you, it's long!

As you guys know, at my last doctor appointment, my ob/gyn was ready to perform a membrane sweep on me. Since I was already progressed to 3 cm and had a pretty soft cervix, both she and I felt comfortable performing this procedure. I was so ready to have this baby and meet little Gabriella.

On Monday, October 17th, Jim and I tied up the loose ends around here. I ran to the grocery store and took Eli for a haircut while Jim dusted and vacuumed the house. By that evening, we were literally sitting in the living room bored out of our minds. Nothing was left to do and now it was just time to wait. I remember thinking if the sweep didn't work and Jim went into work on Wednesday, I wouldn't know what to do with myself and Eli. I was too big and uncomfortable to take him somewhere and yet hanging around the house with nothing to do seemed about as fun as watching paint dry. I still remember going to bed that evening and telling Jim we should enjoy our sleep since it was very possible that would be the last night of uninterrupted rest. I'm so happy I was right. And thank God I slept wonderfully.

On Tuesday morning, our day started just like any other day. We woke up, ate breakfast together and cleaned up the kitchen. I had already asked Jim to come with me to my appointment because all the research I did on the Internet regarding a membrane sweep seemed to indicate I would be in some pain afterwards. I didn't want to risk cramping and being super uncomfortable while driving home alone. So, we packed Eli up and headed to my appointment set for 11:30 am. The check up was the same as every other appointment except for the very end when it was time for the much anticipated sweep. I laid back on the table and braced myself as my doctor performed the procedure. I've been asked numerous times so in case anyone isn't aware...the membrane sweep doesn't involve any medical instruments. It's simply an aggressive internal exam with the doctor's hand. She sweeps a finger around the cervix in hopes that this will release prostaglandins which start labor if the conditions are favorable. As expected, it hurt. A LOT. The whole thing lasted probably less than 10 seconds but in that time I pulled back from the doctor, cried out and asked Jim to hold my hand. It felt like an eternity. As soon as she was finished, I apologized to my doctor and asked if I had done anything to hinder her ability to do an effective job. She immediately said no and that in fact she "got in there good". Before she walked out of the office Dr. G looked at me and said "I'm at the hospital on Thursday and I WILL see you there with your baby". I told her I hoped she was right. By the time we walked out of the office, I was already pessimistic. Even though the actual procedure hurt a ton, I was in zero pain afterward. No cramping, no contractions, nothing. I was convinced I had ruined the whole thing by being such a baby and not cooperating with my doctor by holding still.

The three of us decided to go out for lunch in case this was our last outing as a family of three. We decided to indulge a bit so we went to Tazino's where Jim and I totally pigged out on the pizza buffet. My poor bub was still getting over an illness so he barely ate anything. We got home around 1 pm and put Eli down for a nap. Since there was nothing to be done around the house, Jim and I took advantage of the lazy afternoon and crawled into bed and watched an episode on our Madmen dvd. During that time I started to get extremely minor contractions. They were so mild that I had to ask Jim to feel my belly and let me know if he felt any tightening. Fortunately he could feel them but I was still pretty convinced that nothing was going to happen. I had been getting contractions just like this for weeks and was still pregnant. After watching TV, I was too antsy to sleep so I wandered to our bonus room where I went online to do some more research on the effectiveness of a membrane sweep. I guess I just wanted to read some success stories and find out what I could do on my part to make the procedure as effective as possible. As expected, I came across the recommendation that doing the deed could move things along. So, sorry Mom and anyone else out there reading this who may squirm at the thought, but I told Jim what must done. Like most men, he didn't even put up a fight :)

Around 3:30 pm, I still felt fine so I called up Elizabeth and told her I'd be meeting her at a funeral we had planned to attend the day prior. A grade school friend of ours had lost her mother to cancer and we really wanted to give our condolences. We arrived at the funeral home a little after 4 pm and that's when things started to get interesting. We weren't there long but during that time, the contractions started arriving fasting and much stronger. It was to the point where I was trying to manage the pain while talking to people without giving anything away. Afterward, Elizabeth and I parted ways in the parking lot and I told her she must be good luck because I had also seen her the day I went into labor with Eli. On the drive home I started timing the contractions and they were about 5 minutes apart but still manageable. This happened with Eli too....I was so confused as to why I wasn't in more pain. As soon as I got home I informed Jim of how I was feeling and that I would probably pack the rest of my hospital bag "just in case". Jim also started getting those last minute things lined up like washing Eli's diapers and putting toys away. During this time I was keeping my mom informed and she had offered to come pick up Bailey. At first I told her no and that I'd let her know if anything changed but within 30 minutes I had called her back and told her to come over to our house within the hour. In order to manage the contractions I had sat on the exercise ball in our living room and for some reason that seemed to kick start things into high gear. I immediately ran upstairs and told Jim I HAD to get into our bathtub for some relief. At that point, he knew things were progressing fast and that's when he really started to prepare for an evening at the hospital.

The tub was a fantastic idea and I'm so glad I got to experience that this time around. With Eli, the pain progressed to an unbearable level before I had the chance to do any water therapy at the hospital. But this time, I was able to just sit here at home and do my best to manage the pain. Like always, Eli kept coming up to the side of the tub and kept indicating that he wanted to get in. I finally whipped off his clothes and brought him in with me. He was actually pretty good and just sat near my feet playing with buckets while I breathed through more contractions. I can't remember how much time had passed or how long I was in the bathtub because the pain got pretty bad. Eli started getting antsy and wanted to crawl over my body. As you can imagine this was the last thing I wanted so I asked Jim to take him out. Eli started crying but I was too preoccupied to give it my full attention. Jim was still frantically trying to get things done and in hopes of distracting Eli, he put on a Praise Baby DVD in our bedroom. As expected I was pretty emotional. I was overwhelmed with happiness that I was going to meet my daughter soon and yet I felt sad knowing Eli's life was going to drastically change. I started crying in the tub and finally asked Jim to turn off the dvd. The songs reminded me of Eli's newborn days and it wasn't helping my emotional state.

This entire time I would call out to Jim whenever a contraction started and ended so he could time them. They were coming every 3 1/2 minutes and were lasting about 45 seconds. I finally decided to have the on call doctor paged. I progressed pretty quickly with Eli and had been told things go much faster with subsequent deliveries so I didn't want to wait too long. Dr. Barr called me back within 10 minutes, asked me the usual questions and told me that it was time to get to the hospital. By this time my mom had already arrived and was with me while I was still in the tub. When I got off the phone she helped me get out and get dressed. Eli was still acting very clingy and crying and I'll admit that this didn't help the situation. It made me more emotional and I think I looked at my mom and started crying. I wanted nothing more than to just comfort my baby but physically and mentally I was unable to do anything but take care of myself. We all made our way downstairs and that's when Jim's parents arrived to take Eli. I still remember having Jim, Eli, my mom and Jim's parents in the kitchen while I had my head down on the counter and swayed my hips through another contraction. When that was done, we all parted ways and I barely recall giving Eli a kiss through my tears.

Jim and I got into our car around 7:15 pm and I told him to drive as quickly but safely as possible. By this point, I was in major pain and was dreading the 15 minute drive to the hospital. Before we even got to the freeway I was already wincing at every bump in the road but I just kept my eyes closed and tried to focus on my breathing. While Jim was turning onto the freeway ramp I told him to nix the fast driving idea and just get me to the hospital as smoothly as possible, even if it meant driving slow. Regardless, the drive sucked. Jim started talking to me while I was having a contraction and I remember giving him the "talk to the hand" gesture. When it was done, I told him he couldn't talk to me while I was concentrating on my breathing. We were almost to the hospital and I pretty much couldn't take the pain anymore. My back and lower abdomen hurt so much and I finally started swaying my hips in the car to alleviate the discomfort. We were about two blocks from the hospital when another contraction hit and I was absolutely tired of dealing with this pain while in the car so I demanded that Jim pull over until it was over. I finally gave him the signal to start driving again and when a bus stopped right in front of us where we were supposed to turn into the parking lot it's a little known fact that I spewed out a few expletives :)

Just like last time, Jim pulled into the vacant valet parking lanes. He ran inside to get a wheel chair and helped me in it. In a daze, I saw a few people walk in and out of the hospital and it was no surprise that they all looked at me with concern. Someone even wished Jim good luck. We left the car parked where it was and Jim wheeled me inside and towards the elevators. Yet again, before we made it to the delivery floor, I told him to stop so I could stand up and get through another contraction.

Finally, we were at our destination. The nurses were anticipating our arrival and quickly led us into a delivery room. I was confused yet so happy that we didn't have to deal with being monitored in the triage room this time. I still don't know the reason but I'm guessing Dr. Barr told them to just admit me based on the frequency of my contractions and the fact that this was my second baby. As soon as we got into the delivery room, the nurse told me to change into the hospital gown. I literally whipped off my clothes off...every little piece... as fast as I could right where I was standing. Jim gathered everything up and helped me to the bathroom one last time. By the time the nurse came back I was leaning against the bathroom door frame, swaying my hips while Jim rubbed my back. I looked up to her and asked, "When can I get that epidural?!"

The next hour or so is pretty blurry in my mind so I'll do my best to recall the details. The nurse had asked me to get into bed so they could hook everything up and check me out. One of the reasons I wanted to wait longer to go to the hospital this time was because I HATED being monitored. I despised all those belts around my belly and the constant beeping from machines around me. They did nothing but intensify the pain and I really wanted to avoid that this time around so I blatantly told the nurse how I felt. By this time I had two nurses; Both were super nice and told me they would take everything off and get me comfortable as quickly as possible.

I was checked and informed I was 4 1/2 centimeters. Talk about a major bummer! I was hoping to be at least 5 or 6 centimeters based on how I was feeling but yet again, I wasn't that surprised since the same thing pretty much happened with Eli. The next hour consisted of me getting hooked up to an IV, answering questions for the nurse and dealing with horrific contractions. Finally, the anesthesiologist arrived and I was ready to get my epidural. I clearly remember looking at the clock, seeing that it was 8:45 and telling Jim that we were pretty much on the exact same timeline as Eli's delivery. Almost down to the minute!

The epidural was probably one of the worst experiences of my life and by sharing this, I know some of you natural mamas out there will just shake your head and be thankful for avoiding this. Anyway, the anesthesiologist came in the room, went through his whole shpeal that I barely paid any attention to and began to prep my back. Both Jim and one of my nurses were standing in front of me while I was told to arch my spine like a cat. It was at the moment where I felt the most excruciating pain shoot from my back straight down my left leg. I cried out in a voice that honestly didn't sound like it came from me. I never heard myself cry out in such agony. Sadly, this went on for WAY too long as the anesthesiologist had to keep trying to get the needle in my spine. To this day whenever I tell this story, Jim gets a look on his face that just confirms how freakin' awful it was. By the millionth attempt [or at least that's what it felt like!], I couldn't handle it anymore and literally slumped right into my nurse's chest. She held on to me while I threw my arms around her neck and cried. Like I said, I had some awesome nurses and I honestly feel like I got through the next 5 minutes because of her rubbing my neck and telling me it was going to be okay. That and the fact that I was praying and asking God to give me the strength to endure this awful procedure. My prayer was answered and I somehow managed to sit still while the doctor poked my back for the final time. Within a few minutes I felt my feet and legs go numb and while I was happy to be pain free, I pretty much hated the anesthesiologist. If this was my first child, I probably would have thought this was normal, but with Eli, I felt NOTHING when I got my epidural. It was quick and painless - the exact opposite from this experience.

After the anesthesiologist left the room, Jim and I decided it was time for him to get the rest of our bags and park the car. As soon as he left, Dr. Barr came in and I immediately knew I liked her. She checked me again and the nurses and I were floored when we were told I was already 8 centimeters!!! Dr. Barr then broke my water and left the room. For a few minutes, it was just my nurse and I and we started talking about Eli and this pregnancy. When I told her this was a surprise pregnancy after I stopped breastfeeding, she started asking me questions about my cycle and told me she and her husband were trying for baby #2. She had a 18 month old son and was still nursing twice a day and getting frustrated that her cycle hadn't returned. I thought it was pretty cool that we were having this conversation almost like we were friends. Jim finally returned and when I told him how much I had progressed, he was totally shocked. We knew we were most likely going to meet Gabriella before midnight.

For the next 30 minutes, Jim and I just hung out and made phone calls. Jim let work know he was starting his time off and I called my mom to keep her updated on my progress. Our nurses were in and out of the room and after a bit I had a slight urge to push. I was checked again and was thrilled to hear I was fully dilated. I just had a slight lip on the right side of my cervix so they had me lay on my right side for just a few minutes and that totally did the trick. A little after 10 pm, I started to push and I just remember thinking I wasn't going to be a pansy this time. With Eli, I really didn't know what I was doing and pushed for just short of two hours. There was no way I was going to endure that again and so every time I pushed, I gave it 100%. Jim and the nurses were so encouraging and kept telling me what a great job I was doing. About 1o minutes later, Dr. Barr came in and the stage was set for Gabriella's arrival. As baby girl got further and further down I began to feel EVERYTHING. And just like last time I asked why on earth I felt this if I had an epidural! Each push got more and more painful but I absolutely refused to let that stop me from giving it my all. Finally, everyone told me they could see Gabriella's head and let me tell you, that moment hurt like crazy heck! I was told to stop pushing but there was no way I could relax with this bowling ball right there. So I pushed some more and all that was going through my head was "ring of fire, ring of fire, why on earth do I feel the ring of fire?!?!?!" I was so relieved when my doctor told me to slow down and I figured Gabby's head was ready to pop out and sure enough, with little pushes and slight resistance from my doctor, it did. I felt a bit of relief while Dr. Barr cleaned out Gabriella's nose and mouth. And then I pushed a little more to release the rest of my baby girl. I can still remember the insanely odd sensation of her torso and legs being pulled from the inside of my belly. Gabriella was officially born at 10:24 pm, weighing in at 6 lbs, 8 oz and was 18 inches long. She was immediately put on my chest and I was just so amazed to be looking at my daughter. Jim and I just sat there starring and talking to her. At one point, I pulled the blanket back to look at her little body and was totally mesmerized by the umbilical cord. After a couple of minutes, Jim cut it and I gave Gabby to the nurses so they could examine her on the warming table. But she was quickly wrapped up and put back in my arms where I immediately started to nurse her. And oh my gosh, what an incredible feeling to be able to do that again! I still marvel at ability of a newborn to latch on to her mama minutes after birth and even though nursing was torturous with my Eli, I just love the fact that I get to do this all over again.

Jim and I spent another 2 hours or so in the delivery room and during that time my doctor stitched me up [second degree tear], Gabriella nursed some more and my mom and Don came to visit. Despite the fact that I just gave birth I felt surprisingly well and wide awake. My mom even noted that I was a different person this time around. A little after 1 am, Jim, Gabriella and I were transferred to our hospital room and that's when I started to feel drowsy. We nursed some more, met with our new nurses and were then able to get some sleep. I can't even express how happy I was that my baby girl was finally here!

He's Not a Baby Anymore

2011-10-24T11:53:00.002-05:00

When I decided to incorporate Eli into my weekly pregnancy photos, I really wanted to document how he'd change in those 9 months. I thought for sure I'd look back with awe at how my boy went from a baby to a full fledged toddler. And man, was I right.

The photo on the left is when I was just 6 weeks pregnant. Eli was 9 months old. And on the right, Eli just shy of 17 months and I'm 38 weeks pregnant.

My boy is not a baby anymore.

You'd think these pictures alone would be enough for the realization to sink in. But I was in for quite the surprise after coming home from the hospital. Jim, Gabriella and I were there for no more than 48 hours and yet, by the time we got home, Eli seemed to be a completely different child from the one I kissed good-bye just a day and a half prior. When I look down at Gabby's tiny fingers and watch as she moves and squirms in ways only an infant can, I realize Eli once did that. At one time he was so small that it took almost no effort to hold and rock him. It's no surprise that in the past few days I've just starred at Eli and have been amazed at how much he has changed. And I'm not gonna lie, part of me is sad. It's a realization that life is constantly moving. Things change, people change, circumstances change. I'm trying to soak in every moment because I know soon enough Gabriella will be running around chasing her big brother and she too, will no longer be a baby.

I've never been one to get all philosophical over the passage of time but at this moment, it's hitting me. My babies are growing and will continue to grow up.

Sometimes I just wish it wasn't so fast...

She's Here!!

2011-10-19T14:48:00.003-05:00

My hunch was right - last week's pregnancy's post was, in fact, the last. The membrane stripping worked and on Tuesday evening at 10:24 pm, Jim and I welcomed our daughter, Gabriella Ann into this world :) The pumpkin weighed in at 6 lbs, 8 oz and was 18 inches long. I honestly can't stop starring at her!

And of course I'll be writing her birth story very soon.

Pregnancy #2 - 38w2d

2011-10-16T13:44:00.003-05:00

I'm cautiously optimistic that this may be the last update I do. After taking these photos, I slumped on the couch and said to Jim, "I just have a feeling that wrapped up these belly pictures." At my appointment this past week, the doctor informed me I'm another centimeter dilated - up to 3 - and that she's going to do a membrane sweep at my next appointment on Tuesday [that's in 2 days!!]. I'm hoping and praying it works. I'm so ready to get this baby out of my belly and meet this mysterious little girl :)

How Far Along: 38 weeks, 2 days

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 19 inches from head to toe and weighs about 6.8 lbs.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: No change this week. Still +30.

Maternity Clothes: Yes.

Gender: Pink!

Movement: Very little since there's no room left! I seem to notice a ton of movement though at night before going to bed. Whenever she kicks and moves I can literally feel her head banging away on my cervix. It's a very painful, stabbing sensation which I oddly welcome since I'm assuming this is all part of labor preparation.

Sleep: I have my good nights and bad nights. I'm usually up every 2 or 3 nights and instead of fighting it I just watch TV, go on the internet or read.

What I miss: I get a twinge of sadness whenever I see the latest fashions in stores. I'd LOVE to buy some new clothes but I won't do that until I lose a considerable amount of this baby weight.

Cravings: Nothing - but you better believe I'm indulging quite a bit these last few days. In the past two weeks I've consumed peanut butter cups, frozen custard, cake and breadsticks.

Symptoms: Holy water retention - my feet are huge and hilarious! I still have a desire to keep this house clean and organized. And those contractions are coming every once in a while along with some crazy downward pressure.

Best Moment this week: Hearing that I was another cm dilated made me happy, especially since I said a quiet prayer in the waiting room asking for a glimmer of hope. And I'm not gonna lie, when my doctor said she's going to do a membrane sweep this week, there was an extra pep in my step the rest of the afternoon. Oh, and non-baby related, I sold a lens and my external flash this week and was able to buy the Canon 35mm/1.4 lens. This is an L series professional lens and I simply cannot wait to try it out. It's been on my wishlist for at least a year.

Best comment of the week: Nothing comes to mind.

What I'm looking forward to: Labor - I'm crazy, I know! And, the fact that I could possibly be holding and breastfeeding my baby girl in a matter of days. Also, I really can't wait to try out the Belly Bandit that a friend let me have after she swore it did wonders for her. [As a side note, I wrapped my belly with an ace bandage after giving birth to Eli and yes, it truly works.] Finally, since the end is near, I'm really looking forward to sleeping on my stomach, drinking a whole bunch of wine and playing with abandon on the floor with Eli.

Milestones: Baby is doing nothing but plumping up at this point.

12 days to go! Prayers that it's sooner!

Dear Eli

2011-10-13T02:46:00.004-05:00

My boy,

Lately mommy hasn't been able to sleep and tonight is another one of those nights. The thing is, this time the reason is different. It's not because your sister is kicking or I'm hungry. It's because Mommy can't get something off her mind and had to get out of bed to type this letter to you. But not before I peeked into your room, tip toed up to your crib and and cried as I watched your precious face sleep. There hasn't been a time when I wanted nothing more than to just pick you up and hold you as close as I possibly could. But I know you must sleep. And so, I left. But there is still so much is on my mind.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. A few weeks ago, on a Friday night, your daddy was at the back end of a 48 hour shift and it had just been you and I for two days straight. We both were getting a bit antsy being at home for so long so I decided to run a few errands after your nap. You were so good, letting mommy stop at the usual places - the library, bank and a couple of stores. Afterwards, we went to a park where I let you run around and then, on a whim, we stopped at a local burger joint for dinner. Just you and I. I contemplated taking our food home but something stopped me. And so, we sat inside this 50's diner sharing a hamburger, fries and afterwards a hot fudge sundae. By the way, you absolutely loved it and devoured your half as quickly as I did. On our way home, with you talking away in the back seat, mommy just started crying. She knew this was one of the most special, precious memories she would ever have of you. And luckily, she was wise enough to take it all in and savor every second. Once we got home, we played a bit in the backyard, where you did something you've never done before. You walked up to our garden, picked a flower and gave it to me. Mommy started crying again. That flower means more to me than you'll ever know. I still have it to this day and I'll keep it forever. Don't tell your daddy this, but it's the best flower I have ever received from a boy.

Mommy is so unbelievably happy to be having another baby and to be able to give you a little sister. You have no idea how thrilled your daddy and I are to be able to this all over again with another child. If children are a blessing from God - and they are - we can't begin to fathom why we deserve you both. But the thing is, Eli, there is place deep inside of me that is sad that we are losing our alone time together. There will never again be just a "Daddy, Mommy and Eli". We'll now be a family of four and I have to admit....I'm sad to be losing my family of three. These past sixteen months with you and you alone have been the most life changing, awesome, miraculous months of my entire life. I really don't know what I lived and breathed for before you came along. I have never taken so much joy in watching another human being and to see you change before my eyes on a daily basis gives me more happiness than anything in the entire world. There are moments when I wonder if I'll ever be able to love a human being this much again. Will my heart be able to handle it? Logic and common sense tells me yes. But I'm still at the point where it feels like you and your daddy take up my entire heart and soul. I know God is going to make my heart bigger these next few weeks for your sister but right now you are still the center of my universe.

Oh Eli, don't get me wrong. I already love your baby sister. I have loved her from the second I found out she was in my belly. But I want you to know you will always hold a special place in my heart that no one will ever be able to replace. Mommy and daddy are going to have to split their time and attention now but never forget this: You made me a mommy. You were that first little bean to indicate on a test that I was pregnant. You were the first one to make my belly grow and body change. You were the first little tap, kick and hiccup I felt from within. You were the first heartbeat I ever saw on an ultrasound. You were the first baby I pushed from my body and held in my arms. You were the first infant I nursed. You were the first human being I revolved my life around - eating, sleeping and showering. You were the baby who let me experience that first smile, coo and laugh. You were the first baby I cheered on to roll over, crawl and eventually walk. You were and are the first human being I have ever loved so much it actually hurts. You have changed my life, Eli. Without you, I am incomplete. As cliche and corny as this sounds, being your mommy has been the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life. I thank God every day for letting us have your precious self while we are on this earth.

And so my little man, life is going to change very soon - your sister could be here in a matter of days. I know you'll never remember these past 16 months but I'll hold them dear to my heart forever. Daddy says you won't resent me as an adult but I still feel a bit guilty. I hope we can continue to have our special date nights - just you and I - for years to come. And I hope you and daddy get to experience things together like baseball games and soccer practice. Baby sister will be here and we'll be a happy family of four but just know we were once a family of three and it was amazing.

If there was a word or concept that means "love times a million", I used it here, because that's how I feel about you, Eli. You're my boy, my first born and you'll always hold such a special place in my heart no matter how much life changes.

Love times a million, billion, trillion-

Mommy

Her Room

2011-10-12T16:27:00.004-05:00

As of noon today, baby girl has a completed nursery! There was a part of me that thought this project was never going to be finished. Tackling that first nursery was a breeze....you could take all the time in the world planning, shopping and hanging up pictures. But with a toddler running around, things tend to take much, MUCH longer. Just ask Jim who simultaneously measured, leveled off and hung shelves all the while Eli yelled "DADA!" at the top of his lungs and used Jim's legs as a jungle gym. My husband has the patience of a saint.

Anyway, this room was our computer room/office shortly after we got married. Then we bought our laptop and were able to surf the Net in our living room or anywhere else we dang well pleased. As you can imagine, this space was neglected and basically became a junk room. You know, the place where you open the door, throw whatever it is you want out of sight and quickly shut the door behind you. Kind of embarrassing to admit, but these pictures would give me away regardless :)

Let's do a little "before" and "after" action so you can get a full feel for this transformation.

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

I know it's nothing totally special but I love it. We had some limitations to work around and I'm very happy with how we managed that. First was the purple fan which came with the house. Not one to spend endless money, I didn't want to replace this fixture so it was decided that we'd work around that color. And secondly, that huge over sized chair was not our first choice but I couldn't fathom buying yet another piece of furniture for this house. We were desperately trying to downsize our belongings to make room for baby girl and to bring in a new rocker just didn't jive with us. So we used the chair that goes with our living room furniture, which wasn't even IN our living room. Yes, it's huge and clunky and doesn't even rock, but I'm not too worried about it.

And now for the details:

My mom and step dad yet again stepped up to the plate and gave Jim and I an unexpected and generous amount of money to spend on baby girl. With that we were able to buy the crib, bedding, dresser and a whole bunch of other baby necessities like swaddles, a bigger diaper bag, more cloth diapers and decorations. We even have enough left over at the moment to buy our double jogging stroller and start baby girl's EdVest account. To say we are grateful is an understatement!

Crib: Graco Sarah Classic Crib from Walmart

Bedding: Pottery Barn Petite Paisley

Dresser: Craiglist, baby! 60 bucks. Jim just had to refinish and paint it white

Picture frames: Target clearance rack - The 11x14 frame was $4 and the three other 5x7 frames were $3

Curtains: Made by Jim's mom

White window valance: Made my moi using stitch witchery because a sewing machine and I have nothing in common

Lamp and rug: TJ Maxx - I almost died when I saw these and realized they matched the bedding perfectly

Mirror: Target - $30

Signage: Made by my cousin, Sarah. She did this in her nursery and I immediately told her I wanted one!

Umbra Wall Flowers: Amazon - $20

Letters - Hobby Lobby - $20 for her entire name....all nine letters!

If I have enough energy and free time I may attempt to make a crib mobile again. I did this for Eli and it was the most time consuming project I've ever tackled. To this day I don't think he's taken one bit of interest in it, but it adds a nice touch to his room and I think that's what we need in baby girl's nursery.

And with that, every room in this home is FILLED. If we were to ever get a surprise baby again, we may just have to buy another house!

Baby girl, come whenever you're ready. We're eagerly anticipating your arrival, little one.

Pregnancy #2 - 37 Weeks : Full Term!

2011-10-06T21:12:00.002-05:00

How Far Along: 37 weeks - I can barely believe it.

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 19 inches from head to toe and weighs a little over 6 lbs.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: No change this week. Still +30.

Maternity Clothes: Even my "skinny" pregnancy jeans are getting a bit snug. Since I gained more with Eli, those maternity jeans have always been a bit loose this time around, but lately they are fitting quite nicely.

Gender: Pink!

Movement: A lot less movement and a lot more stretching on her part. Also, baby girl is getting the hiccups like crazy lately. I read online that this means her lungs are preparing for the outside world.

Sleep: Ugh, so bad. I miss sleep and one day, in the far off future, we will meet again. The only way I can guarantee a full night's rest is if I take a tylenol PM and even then I feel guilty.

What I miss: Working out, sleeping, being able to put pants on without feeling like a total fool.

Cravings: Nada.

Symptoms: I'm beginning to retain a ton of water now so that means saying buh-bye to the wedding ring for the next 3 weeks. I'm also nesting like crazy - this house can't get clean enough! And the downward pressure can get pretty insane at times. I can tell my body is preparing for labor since I have days where I'm super crampy and have pain radiating from my back and groin area. If I recall correctly, this happened with Eli around this time so I'm not too optimistic about having this baby within a matter of days. I know the entire process can take weeks.

Best Moment this week: Life has slowed down drastically over here which has been such a welcome change. I don't feel rushed or pressured to get stuff done if it isn't super important. When Eli naps, I'm able to put my feet up without feeling guilty. Sure, we still need to hang a few shelves and pictures in baby girl's room and yes, our bedroom could be dusted again but all of that important stuff has been taken care of.

Best comment of the week: You know...people have been really nice lately. As I've said before, I really don't feel all that attractive when I'm this far along in my pregnancies. When I look at photos of myself, I just see a really swollen face and tired eyes. Well, last weekend we had a wedding and people were complimenting me left and right. On the way home Jim kind of tied into me about being too hard on myself and I guess I had to agree. Yeah, I'm pregnant and look different but that doesn't mean I look worse. Even if people were just being nice, I guess it was nice to hear.

What I'm looking forward to: While I'm not looking forward to the pain of labor, I'm actually looking forward to seeing how this birth story unfolds. I'm curious if my water will break at home, if I'm able to handle the contractions better and even if I'll push for a shorter amount of time. I just can't believe I'll be doing this all over again within a month!

Milestones: Baby girl is full term - meaning if she is born from here on out her lungs will be mature enough to sustain her. Other than that, she's just fattening up and settling lower and lower in my pelvic region.

Oh, and I finally got around to semi packing my hospital bag. So odd to see all those nursing tanks and bras again!

21 days to go!

Pregnancy #2 - 36 weeks : Home Stretch Baby!

2011-09-30T04:22:00.005-05:00

Quite possibly, the worst photos yet. And why my child hates taking these is just beyond me. Also note, I'm at the point where I can't even hold Eli on my belly anymore!

Here's this week's interesting story - As you all know Eli is able to point to my belly when I ask where "baby" or "sister" is. And whenever I'm out and about with my boy, if we happen to pass an itty bitty babe, I'll point and say "baby" in hopes that he'll make the connection. "Oooohhh...that's a baby....and that's what inside mommy's tummy." But let's be real. As cute and fun as this little game is, we all know Eli doesn't TRULY understand the situation. I highly doubt my 16 month old has the mental capacity to fully grasp the notion that a newborn baby is going to be living with us very, very soon. Anyway, within the past week or so, Eli has suddenly - out of the blue - shown an extreme interest in two things: our Fisher Price my little lamb swing and uh.....my boobs, as in, my bare boobs. The funny thing is, none of this is new to him. We've never put the swing away and it has sat in our bonus room, right in front of his eyes, for months and let's just say I'm not shy about changing in front of or bathing with my son. So I found it completely hilarious that yesterday Eli begged Jim to put him in the swing and later when I was changing, he pointed straight to my boobs with enthusiasm! While these new found fascinations make me laugh, I can't help but be a bit nervous about how he's going to react when baby girl takes ownership of these things. It's going to be interesting! And I'm just hoping he doesn't get too territorial! What a funny kid.

How Far Along: 36 weeks

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 18 inches from head to toe and weighs almost 6 pounds. Doc still thinks she's on the smaller side.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Yesterday's weigh in - 30 lbs. Eh, what are you gonna do, right? I'm at the point where I'm like "I'm at the end, I'm retaining water like it's my job and dude, I'm hungry." It is what it is.

Maternity Clothes: Clearly.

Gender: At this point, it better be a girl.

Movement: Yes, but we're definitely slowing down over here. Looks like someone might be running out of room.

Sleep: Hilarious. It's currently 4:37 am...I'll let you decide :) My body will not know a solid 8 hours of sleep for a looooong time. After my 2 or 3 am bathroom trip, I'm usually wide awake which sucks cause that means I'm dragging by early afternoon. And I constantly look tired.

What I miss: Truthfully, I don't even know what it's like *not* to be prego so I really can't say what I miss :)

Cravings: Still, truly nothing.

Symptoms: Pain-wise I may be in the clear! Baby girl has most definitely dropped which means my ribs and lungs feel much better. And after I eat a meal, I don't feel as though my stomach is suffocating me. But with dropping comes some crazy intense pain down below. At times, as my doctor put it, it feels like she could just drop right out! How easy would that be? Well, easy and embarrassing! :) I'm also swelling like all good pregos do at the end. The good news is I still have small, svelte ankles. The bad news is all that water retention is going straight to my face [see exhibit A above].

Oh, and the nesting instinct has most definitely returned. With the way I was feeling recently though I was certain it was never coming back. Visions of dirty dishes and dog hair on the couch while we drove to the hospital were constantly in my head. I just didn't have an ounce of energy in me to tackle the house nor did I care. But within the past week, I've been on a mission to get stuff done and am working for most of the day. I truly believe that nesting instinct kicks in when you are close to labor because as much as I don't *want* to clean, somewhere deep inside I *have* to clean, if that makes any sense. I could be dead tired by 2 in the afternoon, but I still find myself hanging letters in the nursery, sorting through clothes or rearranging the pantry.

Best Moment this week: We hung her name on the wall this week and just seeing it made me realize all over again that I'm really, truly getting my baby girl - the one I dreamed about ever since I wanted to become a mommy. And her name? Well, it was one that Jim and I have wanted to use for years but were uncertain when someone close to us used a similar name. It just made my heart flutter to know that I'm having a daughter with a name that means so much to us :)

Best comment of the week: Ha, sit back for funny story #2. So, at a birthday party last weekend, I thought I overheard someone ask another person when I was due, followed by ".....doesn't even look pregnant." After hearing that I realized that either a) they weren't talking about me or b) I didn't hear right. Anyway, it was confirmed that yes, she was talking about me and when I got wind of that I nearly fell on the floor laughing. At this point, that's not even a compliment...it's almost absurd!

What I'm looking forward to: Just getting stuff finished around the house and preparing to meet my baby girl.

Milestones: On the mama front, I'm 2 cm and 50% effaced according to my doctor yesterday. While I'm glad to see I'm making progress already I know not to get too excited or anxious. This same thing happened with Eli and we made it pretty much up to his due date. On the baby front, she's shedding most of the downy covering of hair on her body and that waxy substance. In other words, she's getting ready to hatch! :)

28 days to go!

Sarah

2011-09-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

My cousins, Becky and Sarah make their appearance on this blog once in blue moon, usually after our annual dorky Thanksgiving day photo. But this time instead of laughing at our expense, I'm going to get all mushy and pour my heart out.

Several years ago, Sarah and I both worked in downtown Milwaukee and would meet a few times a week for lunch. The mood was always the same - tired, worn down and burned out from the daily grind from jobs we barely loved. We would sit and talk about how unfulfilled we felt and would daydream about happier days ahead - mommyhood, self-employment and just a slower, calmer pace to life. At the time it seemed like a pipe dream because in the end, both of us were too chicken to take a risk and plunge forward with our hopes and plans. It was also at this time that Jim and I started trying for baby #1 and Sarah and I sat through some tearful lunches. We talked about and shared everything. One day, we knew things would get better but for now, well, things were kind of in the dumps.

Fast forward to today. I still can't believe we are where we are in life. Last week I went over to take newborn photos of her precious baby boy and was just amazed at the scenario: both home on a Friday afternoon, not sitting behind a desk writing sad emails to one another hoping for a better life. We were happy and fulfilled doing exactly what we love. I'm working on and blessed by the success of a blooming photography business while Sarah is enjoying maternity leave from a job that lets her work from home and determine her own hours. Our corporate, rat-race days are far behind us and we're never been happier.

Aside from that, I'm also immensely happy that she is now a mommy. I don't think I've known anyone else who has wanted this more than she has. When I wasn't even thinking about children, she'd get a sparkle in her eye anytime someone mentioned babies. She was and is meant to be a mother and now that's it here, it's like "wow, she's nailing it!" When I see her with baby Ethan, I see a new Sarah. It's almost as if she has done this before and it just amazes me. I'm so proud of and happy for her!

I may not have siblings but my cousins are my sisters. Our relationships fall along the lines of "Do these jeans make me look fat? - Why yes, yes they do". Brutally honest yet said with nothing but love. And while we may spend the majority of our time making fun of or poking jabs at one another, I know there's a connection no one else will understand. Sarah doesn't know this [but she will now since she reads this blog :)] but when I heard she was in labor, I cried. At the time Jim and I were up north and even though I gave her strict orders not to have the baby while I was gone, she still went ahead and did her own thing! My grandma was calling periodically to keep me updated and when I heard Sarah was finally admitted into the hospital I felt a mixture of excitement and sadness. The thought that my cousin was becoming a mommy at that moment made my heart swell because I remembered that life changing moment for me. And yet I was sad because I was 4 hours away and not able to get home for another day. Even though there was no plan for me to be present or see baby Ethan immediately, I still wanted to be in the same city while my cousin became a mommy. As I sat with Jim's family on the pontoon boat, I silently cried behind my sunglasses. It was an emotional afternoon for me.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to share with you all photos I took - both of Sarah while pregnant and of baby Ethan now that he's here. He's one of the most precious newborns I've ever laid eyes on and I mean that with all of my heart.

I love my cousin. I love my new nephew. Life is, as they say, good.

Pregnancy #2 - 34w6d

2011-09-20T07:11:00.004-05:00

It's getting soooo hard to hold this child. My eyes say it all, "Jim, HURRY UP!!!"

How Far Along: 34 weeks, 6 days.

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 18 inches from head to toe and weighs almost 4.75 pounds. I was still shocked at my doctor's appointment when she noted baby girl will be on the small side [my fundal height is one week behind]. This child feels huge and heavy taking up space from my pubic bone all the way up to my ribs!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 25ish pounds. Still not weighing myself on a consistent basis but that's where I fell the last time I checked.

Maternity Clothes: Clearly.

Gender: Based on all the pink clothes I've been washing and hanging up lately - GIRL!

Movement: All the time. It's to the point where I literally feel like she's beating me up from the inside. By the end of the day, I kindly ask her to leave my aching ribs and ab muscles alone. So far she hasn't listened.

Sleep: On and off. I have my my nights where I sleep the entire way through, save for a few bathroom trips. Other nights I'm wide away at 2 am. And right now I'm up at the crack of dawn because my to-do list just wasn't letting me sleep in this morning. This is just where I planned to be at this point in the pregnancy. As far as pain and discomfort goes, sleep can bring some doozies! I've noticed that if I sleep too long on one side, things tend to "settle" in my belly and once I move, it feels like all my muscles and ligaments are ripping. It hurts like heck, usually causing me to breathe and focus through the pain.

What I miss: Having use of my body - walking, squatting, even washing the dishes like a normal human being. Working out sounds sooooo good right now.

Cravings: Nothing. Still digging odd scents though.

Symptoms: I'm in a ton of pain which just boggles my mind since I was still going to the gym at this point in Eli's pregnancy. I can get about an hour of actual work done around the house before I need a breather. At times it feels as though my stomach is just going to split open right in front of me. Baby girl is SO HEAVY and just adores sitting on the left side of my belly. Like I said above, by the end of the night I'm completely useless due to the constant pain and pressure. Also, the outward pressure on my skin out of this world! I'm no longer hoping to dodge stretch marks because I cannot fathom anyone's skin being that elastic. So far no new marks have made an appearance which makes me a) happy and b)skeptical. Those buggers just have to show up any day now.

Other symptoms: It's very difficult to breathe, eat a meal and even drive. My face looks pregnant and while the swelling isn't no where near Eli's pregnancy, mini cankles are showing up by the end of the day. I'm also noticing the very early signs of labor such as a softening pubic bone and those infamous zingers "down there". Last night they were so intense every time baby girl moved, I could barely fall asleep.

Best Moment this week: At the recommendation of Leah, I just purchased three woombies at a discounted price on totsy.com. This was totally meant to be since I was up earlier than normal and after googling "woombie promotion", I found this deal with only 18 minutes to spare! Normally priced around $26, I got three of them at $16 a pop. Happy dance!

Best comment of the week: Ah, the comments are everywhere now. Whenever I walk in a room, it's all "whoa!", "holy cow", or "you look really uncomfortable". It doesn't bother me though...the fact is I AM huge, I AM ready to have this baby and yes, I AM terribly uncomfortable.

What I'm looking forward to: The photography business slowing down so I can focus on preparing for this baby. Every time I cross something off the to-do list, I just find myself adding another thing that has to be accomplished. And since it's so close, I'm getting anxious to see what my little girl looks like! Will she look just like Eli or will she have her own appearance?

Milestones: Baby girl's fat layers are filling her out making her skin appear softer and smoother. Her central nervous system and lungs are also continuing to mature. The wonderful news is if baby girl makes her appearance now, we should be okay minus a few days in the NICU. As much as I'm in pain, I'm hoping we go to full term though! Oh, and I'm 35/35 tomorrow...35 weeks down, 35 days to go!

Eli - Sixteen Months

2011-09-19T15:35:00.002-05:00

The not-so-little boy who has my heart:

My Eli is sixteen months old now and it boggles my mind that he was once a teeny tiny baby taking up space in my stomach. As I feel baby girl wiggle and squirm day in and day out, I just can't believe at one point that was my little man who now runs, climbs and keeps Jim and I on our toes every waking moment.

So, what's the guy up to these days? Well, if I had to sum it up in one phrase, it would be "He's alllll boy." I remember reading "Happiest Toddler on the Block" and having to decipher how Eli would react if left to his own devices in a crowded mall. Would he cling to me or run off? Jim and I were stumped but soon got our answer when we went to the State Fair last month. That child wanted absolutely nothing to do with his stroller and the second we set him free, he was dashing off into the crowd. My husband is quite the active guy but even he was exhausted after chasing Eli for hours on end.

And here at home, from the second Eli wakes up until he drifts off to sleep, he's on the go - climbing up steps, running around the house, teasing Bailey and getting into every single available drawer, cabinet or closet. Don't worry....all the cabinets containing those off-limit items like bleach are securely locked but Eli knows exactly where the mixing bowls are and drags them out all day long. One of his favorite things to get into is Bailey's box in our pantry. If the door is open, he'll finagle his way behind our garbage can and grab a tub of dog treats. You should see the scene that ensues after this! Bailey frantically sniffing Eli while little man runs around the house teasing the poor pup. Eventually I give in and let Eli feed Bailey one too many treats. That dog has been quite spoiled with treats galore lately but I suppose he deserves it after all the teasing he endures from a two and a half foot tall human being.

Speaking of getting into everything, I'm curious to know if this is common toddler behavior. Eli loves....LOVES getting into small spaces. For instance, he always attempts to squeeze between my legs and the counter whenever I do dishes or when I'm putting my make-up on in the bathroom. If Jim's sitting on the floor, Eli HAS to maneuver his way between daddy's back and the couch. We used to have the box that his convertible cars seat arrived in in our living room and he loved climbing into that thing several times a day. It must be a boy thing - checking out the environment and testing limits :)

Other boyish behaviors include stepping up on things and attempting to get down, like a small box or his little rocking chair. At first Eli would cry when he couldn't figure out how to get down but now he's taking more of a risk and climbing down on his own. It makes me nervous, no doubt, but I'm taking this all as a learning experience for him. Jim is also bound and determined to teach Eli how to go down stairs and right now we're getting a ton of giggles as Eli slides down on his tummy. It can get to be quite the exhausting game after a while :) I'm also noticing that Eli is attempting to walk up stairs like we do. At times, instead of crawling his way up, he'll grab onto the railing and plant his foot on the next step. His little legs are too short for the entire journey but he's trying and doing such an awesome job!

Eli is also putting the finishing touch on his fine motor skills and I just love watching his little mind at work. He's totally intrigued with parts that fit into other parts. Every morning after waking up, he has to plug and unplug the cord from his sound machine over and over again. His favorite toys are the ones where you have to fit pieces into a small opening and Eli has even mastered the task of putting toys together that have nothing to do with one another. For instance, we have a sandbox scooper that is the perfect size for one of Eli's small squishy baseballs. Little man can sit for several minutes putting the ball in and out all the while amazed that these two objects fit together. Along those lines, Eli is also great at putting things back where they belong. I allow him to play in one of my desk drawers that contains a light reflector. He'll drag that thing out, play with it for a bit and then place it neatly back right where he found it. It's almost like a game to him. He'll also do the same with the laundry - throwing it all over the floor and then picking up each piece and placing it back in the basket. And did I mention the time he ran up to me with my slippers and insisted on putting them on my feet? It amazed me that he made the connection between these two objects. Every so often he'll run up to Jim or I with our shoes and attempt to put them on us.

Another obsession - BUTTONS! And even more so, buttons that light up when they are pushed. Give that child a remote control, cell phone or anything that needs a button to turn on and he's entertained for quite some time. Unfortunately, if it's a toy, it won't work. It needs to be an off- limit item that mommy and daddy need at that very moment. Isn't it that how it always works? And since it's called a "belly BUTTON", Eli will push on my own belly button whenever my shirt is up. I'm assuming he thinks something will happen. Maybe that will get his baby sister out sooner rather than later!

Speaking of pointing to things, we're working on identifying body parts over here. For the longest time whenever I asked Eli where his nose was, he'd run up to me and point at mine. Because I used myself to show him things, he must have assumed I was the only one capable of having a nose! But now when I ask where Eli's belly button is, he's finally lifting up his own shirt and jabbing his stomach. I'm trying to add new words every week so hopefully we'll master a few more identifications in the coming months.

Gaining independence is a huge thing over here and the most obvious is Eli's need to feed himself with a fork or spoon. When he's having yogurt, I'll feed him enough until I feel satisfied that he's consumed enough calories but then I'll let him use the spoon for the remainder of the time. He loves it and gets the biggest grin on his face. And just recently I was using a fork and he again insisted on eating his meat with with. So, I would pierce the food and hand him the fork so he could shovel the food in his mouth. Such a big boy! I'm so proud of his accomplishments but little man needs to slow down for the sake of mommy's heart!

Some other tidbits these past two months: we've achieved our first poop in the tub, happily screaming at the top of our lungs in stores is a huge hit and when asked where baby sister is, Eli is able to point at my stomach. The understanding and communication between Eli and us has increased dramatically and while we're still on the low end with actual words, I know that he comprehends pretty much everything we say. And he's doing awesome with repeating us. When asked if he wants a banana, he replies "nana". If I point to a candle and say "hot", he replies "hothothothothot" and whenever Jim says "thank you", even though the actual words don't come out, Eli will imitate Jim's voice fluctuation with sounds. We're getting there folks :)

And I can't leave out those infamous stats. At our 15 month check up, I believe Eli was around 23 lbs and 30 inches tall. Since on the petite side which doesn't surprise me at all. Right when I thought we'd be moving to the next snaps on his cloth diapers, Eli had to get all active and lean out his already slender frame.

I have a feeling those "terrible two's" have arrived early in this household. Mr. Eli has proven to have quite the personality lately and not a day goes by that he doesn't flat out disobey either Jim or I. If we say "no" or direct him elsewhere, it might as well be the end of the world for my little trouble maker. Diaper changes? Forget about it! The physical abuse I endure from my child is insane. We've definitely gotten to the point where we need to "have talks" and I'm thankful to see results from this. If Eli is having a huge meltdown, either Jim or I will take him aside and talk to him. I can tell he "gets it" when he drops his head and leans into me for a hug. That's when I squeeze him with all my might and tell him I just love him so much. It hurts me to see Eli like this but I trust we're doing the right thing in teaching our child right from wrong. Jim thinks this is much easier than the newborn stage but I have to highly disagree. With an infant you had to deal with nonstop crying and sleepless nights but now I think about how every command, every disciplinary action and even every "I love you" will shape Eli's little heart. My prayer is to raise a loving, caring, responsible individual and that burden for a parent is both a blessing and a trial. What a joy to know we are able to teach our children God's ways but yet it's scary to know one day our actions will be reflected in their own actions and behaviors. Thank God for his grace and direction!

As always, Eli is my entire world. I live and breathe for him and when I don't think it's possible to love him anymore, I realize I do. Each day he brings Jim and I so much joy and I feel so blessed to be called him mommy.

Love ya little man!!

On Eating

2011-09-14T05:28:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here at a loss for how to start his post because quite honestly, I feel like I'll be writing about something I know very little about. What I do know is this: Jim and I have made some drastic changes in our eating in the past few months and I believe these are going to do nothing but benefit us now and in the far off future. With that said, we are still so away from having everything figured out and there are many times I question what I should or shouldn't be eating based on our quest to get back to the basics. Plus, with me in all my pregnant glory, there are plenty of moments I just want to pig out on a half pan of ooey, gooey, chocolaty fudge brownies...like I may have done this past weekend :) So, you know...baby steps. But baby steps nevertheless and I wanted to share where we may be headed as a household in the future.

My drive for this overhaul is two fold. For one thing, I feel as though when you have a child, your perspective on things changes drastically. I can easily put something in my mouth and know it's bad for me but when I think about feeding that exact same thing to Eli, guilt ensues. I guess it boils down to the fact that at this point in Eli's life, Jim and I are totally responsible for what our little guy eats. He has no idea what's "good" or "bad" for him and as his mommy, I want to know that I'm doing all I can to feed him nutritious food. I can literally hear all you other mommies out there laughing at me right now and I feel ya. Kids have their own agenda, I totally get that! The egg battle in this house has been nothing but uphill and last night as I shared a scoop of vanilla ice cream with Eli, he was practically tearing my clothes off attempting to climb up my body for another bite. I'm definitely not naive or unaware of the food battles many of us moms face. But that's still not going to deter me from saying no to certain foods and trying to establish healthy food habits. If I gave up every time Eli's desires were different than mine, we'd be one HUGE mess over here!

The other reason I want to make these changes is entirely selfish - I don't want to struggle as hard this time around to lose the baby weight. When I was pregnant with Eli, I gained 35 lbs which isn't horrible but still not something I'm entirely proud of. I quickly dropped 20 lbs within two weeks of coming home from the hospital and I thought at that rate, I'd for sure be at my pre-prego weight in no time. Boy, was I wrong. Losing those last 15 lbs was one of the hardest things I've ever worked for my in my life. Every pound and inch lost was due to nothing but hard workouts, healthy eating [or so I thought] and lots and lots of frustration. If I messed up ever so slightly one week, the scale wouldn't budge. I had to eat PERFECTLY if I wanted to see any loss and even then then the progress was slow. I finally hit my pre-pregnancy weight in February when Eli was 9 months. I can still remember the day I stepped on the scale and did a celebratory dance right there in the bathroom. Finally, I had met my goal! Guess what happened a day later? Two lines.

Anyway, what changes are we exactly making over here? Like I said before, Jim and I are still a work in progress trying to figure this all out. I'm hesitant to use this next word because I know it entails more...much more than I know about, but if I had to summarize it, I'd say Jim and I are slowly approaching the paleo way of eating - Or the primal way. To me there is some confusion and blurriness between these two lines and most of my resources tend to confuse me even more. But it's not enough to make me throw in the towel. If anything, it's giving me the freedom to make choices based on my family and our specific needs and wants. So basically, Jim and I are focusing on veggies, meats, fruits and nuts. We've given up on bread [here at home. When we're out, it's hard to avoid] and haven't made pasta in as long as I can remember. While I'm still consuming way more sugar than I should, I do know once this baby is born, I'm going to kick that habit to the curb as quickly as I can. Now that I have the knowledge about what sugar does to your body, I'm amazed at the awareness I have. Gummy bears are my all time favorite candy and I'm known to grab a small bag on shopping trips but now I can't bring myself to do that anymore because I know I'll feel like complete garbage in a few short hours. Before I never saw the correlation and now it's clear as day!

I'll admit to being somewhat turned off and completely skeptical about this way of eating when I first got wind of it. When I heard the words "meat and veggies" I immediately have visions of dinners containing nothing but baked chicken breasts and steamed broccoli for the rest of my life...quite possibly my worst nightmare ever. And no bread?!?! What about my relentless love for sandwiches and pizza and bread sticks?! I thought all of those "no bread" preachers were nothing but Atkins kooks in disguise and convinced myself their way had to be unhealthy. It had to be. Aren't we told that whole grain bread and oatmeal is good for us? And now I'm being advised that it's bad? It's easy for us to all agree that high fructose corn syrup is evil because we're told that from many sources. But once you get extremely conflicting information from what you assume to be trustworthy sources, confusion is bound to take over. That's how I felt about grains. However, after doing my own research, I'm taking the stance that yes, bread isn't the best for you and in the coming months, we're going to do our best to be a grain-free household. So far, it hasn't been that hard. Yes, I've had to say good-bye to my delicious homemade turkey sandwiches but I'm still alive.

Lots of people have asked me what our typical day looks like and what substitutions we've made for those "off limit" foods. Here is just a glimpse of what we eat on a day to to day basis and what I've experimented with:

Breakfast almost usually entails scrambled eggs with veggies and a meat. We always have onion, spinach and tomato on hand but we'll add in zucchini, mushrooms or another summer veggie if it's available. Our meat is bacon [yum] and for Eli and me, there's always a side of some delicious fruit. Like I said before, Eli isn't a fan of eggs so Jim and I have been experimenting with different way to get him to eat it. So far, we've found adding the meat right to the eggs seems to do the trick. If however, I feel as though Eli hasn't gotten his protein for the morning [because dude LOVES his fruit], I'll give him full fat organic yogurt.

For lunch, Jim and I tend to do our own thing. Jim will usually warm up leftovers while I'll make a turkey wrap. I take a few pieces of turkey meat, lay them flat and fill with avocado, paleo mayo, spinach and any other veggie we have on hand and then roll 'em up. I tend to get really hungry around this time of day so I'll munch on almonds and fruit as well.

Dinners are really fun and have surprised the heck out of me! So far we've made stuffed zucchinis, kabobs, paleo "spaghetti" and even pizza. If you look around, you can actually find some amazing and delicious concoctions that beat any typical American dinner and even that horrendous chicken and broccoli combination I've vowed to never eat again. If anything, dinner is the easiest meal for me.

As far as dairy goes, we're definitely dwindling down our consumption. Jim's stance is that he can do without milk. I personally don't drink milk and never have cereal but I sure do love me some smoothies and protein shakes! I've found that coconut milk does the trick and will usually blend this with a half tablespoon of coconut oil [my other new obsession], almond butter and a banana. Super yummy and I don't miss milk at all. Eli of course still drinks his 3 sippy cups worth of organic whole milk every day and I don't have the conviction nor do I see that changing anytime soon.

Yes, we no longer buy bread or pasta and there is very little you can do to get around that bread craving. I guess it's just one of those things you have to will your way though. However, I have seen recipes online for paleo bread made with almond meal which I've yet to try. The pizza crust I made last week was to die for and quite honestly much better tasting than any other pizza dough I've ever had. And for pasta, I've cut strips of zucchini for our spaghetti which is perfect because really, does actual pasta even have a taste? Another thing that just came to mind is the use of almond meal to "bread" your chicken, perfect for kiddos who love their nuggets.

Getting your child to eat this way is a challenge, I'm sure. Luckily for us, we're still at that stage where we can agree or refuse to introduce Eli to certain foods. I will say that the whole bread dilemma doesn't exist for us purely because I had no idea even HOW to feed Eli bread prior to all these changes. And back in May, after days of gagging on cheddar gold fish, I stopped feeding these to him for fear of choking. So, Eli has had very little of bread and crackers in his little lifetime and as of right now, they are pretty much non-existent. And again, I say, we're lucky because he really likes his fruits and veggies. Meat and protein is still a toss up. Sometimes he devours ground beef and other times he wants nothing to do with it. His chicken has to be dipped in ketchup and like I mentioned before, eggs aren't his favorite. As far as snacks go, I have no problem giving Eli cheese or yogurt but in the recent few weeks, I've become one of those moms who shutters at the thought of fruit snacks and gives Eli raisins instead. Just as yummy but certainly not as bad as pure sugar gelled up in a shape of an orange or strawberry.

So, that's what's going on around here. I will say that we're not perfect by any stretch of the imagination! And I don't intend or believe we're going to to follow this way of eating 100% all the time. Right now Jim and I have the belief that we can make small changes here at home. When others cook for us or we're at family gatherings, we're perfectly fine with eating what they make. And one of the things I've vowed to do is never, ever deprive Eli's grandparents or relatives of treating him once in a while. A few weeks ago I went over to visit my grandma and she told me she thought of Eli as she purchased these ice cream cones. The joy on her face as she watched him gobble it up was priceless. I never want to be so consumed in my ways that I refuse to see other important things in life.

To wrap up, I'd like to link up my resources which have helped me along the way. Hopefully if any of you are thinking about going this route, you''ll know where to begin :)

Sarah Fragoso has a blog called "Everyday Paleo" that I look to often. This is where I found my paleo mayo recipe. She also has a book which not only explains this way of eating but also has a recipe section that I go to every time I write up our weekly menu.

Wellness Mama might be my new best friend. Her website is FULL of wonderful information. She has an article on the downfall of grains, why all fat isn't necessarily bad for us , and even shows you how to make your own sunscreen, bug spray and laundry detergent - all things I plan on doing in the near future. Heck, check out her entire Wellness 101 page and you'll be reading for days!

If you're in my neck of the woods, you can refer to the Farm Fresh Atlas of Southeastern Wisconsin where you can find local farms to buy fresh eggs, meat and poultry.

Other favorites are: The Primal Parent, Growing up Paleo, Mark's Daily Apple, and Chocolate Covered Katie [not Paleo but I do like her homemade Larabar recipes]

And finally, not food related but I often refer to EWG's Skin Deep Cosmetic Database when I consider cosmetic and toiletry purchases.

I think that's all. Sorry this is so long! For someone who said she was at a loss for words at the beginning of this post, I sure had a lot to say :)

Natural Medicine

2011-09-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

I had my regular chiropractor appointment yesterday morning. As I walked out of the office completely pain-free I was reminded that I intended to write a post about this and other natural/holistic approaches to health and wellness. My experiences lately are just blowing me away and I feel the need to share and hopefully [maybe....] give someone else insight into what I've been learning. Before diving in though, I hope no one misinterprets what I'm saying and think I'm bashing our current medical system. Heck, if it hadn't been for doctors and surgeons, people I know and love wouldn't be here due to heart attacks, cancer and all those other yucky things! And remember just a few short months ago I applied for physical therapy school? My hubby even works as a firefighter/EMT and it's his commitment to helping others and getting them to local hospitals that saves many, many lives. I'm grateful...oh, so grateful. But in my mind, natural medicine needs more attention because as I've seen, it works!

Let me start from the beginning of this journey. As you guys know, two years ago Jim and I were on our quest to become parents and found ourselves facing many difficulties. I'm sure some, if not most of you, are frustrated with my lack of information regarding this. The thing is, I feel like this was a private thing between Jim and I and to publicly announce our exact problem on this blog makes me uncomfortable. The imbalance between readers and comments sometimes makes me feel like I'm being watched! So, there's why I tend to keep quiet when it comes to this subject. However, if you know me in real life, you are probably completely aware of our problem. Jim and I are perfectly fine with discussing this - We're not ashamed and actually WANT to help people. That's why I'm writing this. And if anyone out there is facing infertility, please email me for more specifics. I'd be beyond happy to let the information flow :)

Anyway, back to the story...Jim and I were doing everything by the book to get pregnant and yet month after month I found myself starting a new cycle and wondering what was wrong. It was quite honestly the most painful thing I've ever gone through and I've never felt so out of control of my life. After getting a diagnosis we were faced with a few options: One was to basically do nothing, keep trying and hope the odds fell in our favor one lucky month. The other was to meet with a specialist and pursue current medical procedures. We decided to do a little of both. We kept trying but decided to tackle the problem as slowly and carefully as possible. The truth was, we weren't trying for that long. Heck, we weren't even considered "infertile" by medical standards since we hadn't hit that one year mark. Jim and I wanted to become parents but also didn't want to drive ourselves crazy with procedures and unnecessary medical bills.

During this whole time, my mom kept gently pushing the idea of natural remedies. We knew a man at our church, Troy, who owns and runs a local wellness/vitamin/supplement shop. Her experience with Troy was satisfactory so she really wanted us to consult him. At first I kind of brushed her off but shortly gave in to the idea. And so, Jim and I met with Troy a few times and during our visits blood was drawn, saliva was swabbed and urine was even collected. He ran tests which basically told us what our bodies had too much or too little of and in doing so, we were able to overhaul our diet - completely. We had to basically eliminate all starchy, carby foods. No bread, crackers, pasta. Lots of lean mean, veggies and fruit. No alcohol, lots of water. And no dairy. At the time I thought it was just a "prescribed" diet for our specific situation but now I know this is how we SHOULD eat...all the time. I'm saving the diet portion for another post but I'll say it loud and clear right now - bread, grains, oats...all bad for you. Yes, even the whole grain variety. If you are trying to get pregnant and having problems, I'd start with eliminating this from your diet and see what happens. After we came home with a list of "do" and "don't" foods, I felt completely overwhelmed and immediately started scouring the internet for meal ideas. I'm not gonna lie...it was hard. But you know what? After a few successful meals, I announced to Jim that we've never before made such delicious food in our married life together. We were eating well and it tasted awesome. Not only did Jim and I change our diet, we also got on a heavy vitamin regimen. Again - not gonna lie....it sucked. But we wanted a baby and if it meant gagging on a humongous vitamin a few times a day, so be it.

This all took place in July of 2009. During that time we were also in communication with our medical doctors. One day while waiting for class to begin my doctor called me. I told her about our natural approach and her response was this: It won't work. Give it a try...but it won't work. I felt so defeated but there was still a part of me that had hope and was more determined than ever to prove her wrong. Another doctor even told Jim "hey, tell your wife it won't work." To say I was pissed and invalidated is an understatement.

On Friday, September 11th, 2009, I was blown away when I took a pregnancy test and saw it was positive! Which meant we conceived in August! Which meant it took one month...ONE MONTH of diet changing and vitamin taking to get a much wanted result. I'm not saying things will turn around this fast for everyone. We were extremely fortunate and I'm so thankful that was our story. Anyway, our BFP was all due to our more natural approach to the problem and had nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with any medical intervention.

I have a hunch there are some people out there outraged at this, especially those who HAD to undergo fertility treatments for their little bambinos. Don't get me wrong...I know there are times when that's the only option. My only hope is that someone out there at the beginning of their struggle will read this and maybe give natural remedies a try. I'm a strong believer in this and think it can not only alleviate heartache but also change our bodies for the better for years to come.

Ok, so that was story #1. This next example isn't so heavy. I promise :) As you guys know, this pregnancy presented me with some wicked back pain. Since college, this pain has flared up once in a while, usually after a long run. It was located in my lower left back and felt more like a bone/nerve pain than anything else. It definitely wasn't muscular so massages never worked. This honestly never interfered with my quality of life so I just mustered up the strength to get through a day or two of pain and move on. About two months ago, the pain became persistent, debilitating and just so freakin' awful. I'd be playing with Eli on the floor and would suddenly get paralyzed by the excruciating pain searing through my body. There were moments when I would bend over and couldn't stand back up. It was the first time in this pregnancy where I found myself crying and just so frustrated that I couldn't function as a normal human being. People kept saying to me "Call your doctor" and while I know they meant well, I just didn't understand that sentiment. What would a doctor do or say? I highly doubted that there was some amazing secret just waiting to be revealed to me. I knew what she would say: Take it easy, use an heating pad, try yoga and accept the fact that you are pregnant and back pain is part of the journey. I didn't want to waste a trip to the doctor to be told what I already knew. I wanted something different...something that I never tried before. It was actually Jim who recommended seeing a chiropractor. A few firefighters routinely go for adjustments and have nothing but good things to say about the clinic here in our city. So I made an appointment and met with a chiropractor the next day. He ran a few non-invasive tests on my back, mostly running sensors up and down my spine to detect muscle tension and dislocations. I was shocked when I looked at my print out and saw a ton of red lines [indicating pain] on the left side of my lower back. Funny thing is, at that point I never told him I had pain on my LEFT side...he only knew it was my lower back. That first day he performed the gentlest adjustment known to mankind and I was kind of like "dude...work those bones a little harder!" From that point on, I met with him three times a week and for those first few appointments I walked in with pain and walked out with pain. I believed in what my chiropractor was doing but secretly wondered when I would see results.

You guys, I can confidently say it's been about three weeks that I'm completely pain free. It's unreal. Things that normally brought on the pain, don't bother me one bit. Jim and I just drove up north to the family cabin and after a 4 hour drive, I felt fine. Had this been a month or two ago, I would have been miserable. At every appointment I have to fill out a form indicating my current pain level [for insurance purposes] and yesterday I was shocked to realize I had to circle 0 on the scale. My chiropractor measures my legs before and during my adjustments and he has even noted things are lining up much better these days. After running those initial tests again and seeing drastic improvements, I'm now only going once every two weeks.

I didn't tell my ob/gyn that I'm seeing a chiropractor. After mentioning the back pain to her at one of my appointments she told me basically what I already knew. Sadly, if I just accepted her insight, I'd probably still be dealing with this problem.

At this point, I absolutely know I'm getting adjusted after I deliver baby girl. And I'm even going as far to say, baby girl is going to be adjusted shortly after coming home from the hospital. To some of you that might sound crazy. Heck, it sounded crazy to me the first time someone suggested I'd do it with Eli but now that I know how gentle chiropractors work with infants, I feel it's only going to be beneficial.

So, those are my thoughts and experience with natural medicine so far. I feel prevention is key and instead of prescribing medication to merely mask the symptoms, we should tackle the problem at the source. Oh, you'll still find me speeding to the nearest ER if a life threatening situation occurs, but with anything else I think I'm at the point of conviction where I just have to give those other unconventional remedies a try. So far they haven't let me down.

Pregnancy #2 - 32w5d

2011-09-07T06:05:00.006-05:00

Eli's demeanor in the above photo is a glimpse of our day yesterday. For the majority of the day, Jim and I dealt with whining, fussing, tantrums and lots of frustration on our end. You can literally see the lack of smiling in my eyes on the left because Eli wasn't having the 3 seconds of no attention for either parent. And well, the photo on the right was after Jim and I literally got down on our knees and talked eye to eye with our little man about the importance of behaving. Our calm approach actually worked and Eli was mush in my arms afterward. I told Jim just to snap the photo as it was [instead of trying to get Eli to smile] because it was a perfect glimpse of where we are in this stage of toddler-hood. And isn't that what these pictures are all about?

And as you can see, I made that hair appointment. Back to brown it is :) I have to tell you guys though....I felt ridiculous at the salon yesterday. After waddling - oh yes, I'm a full fledged waddler these days. There's absolutely nothing graceful about this pregnant body anymore - I presented my stylist with a photo of me from my wedding shower and bachelorette party. I wanted to go back to the exact shade of brown I was in the months prior to getting hitched. Well, I immediately regretted the decision to bring in the entire album because there I was dancing, laughing and being goofy in size 1 jeans and what I'm assuming to be an XS tank top. Dude, I was tiiiiiiiiny...I even said to the girl, "As you can see, I've gained a few pounds."

How Far Along: 32 weeks, 5 days. "I think I can...I think I can..."

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 16.7 inches from head to toe and weighs almost 3.75 pounds. If I had to guess though, I'd say she was double or triple that!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: At my appointment last week, I clocked in at 24 lbs. I have no idea what Labor Day added to that.

Maternity Clothes: Clearly.

Gender: Bebe girl :)

Movement: She's the most active little girl ever. I swear, this child moves if I eat a single grain of sugar.

Sleep: Super duper uncomfortable and at times extremely painful. A few nights ago, I must have been laying on my left side for hours because when I went to shift to my other side, I felt what was quite possibly the worst pain EVER on the left side of my belly . It was searing, shooting and literally took my breath away. My first reaction was to grab Jim and hold on for dear life all the while hoping I wasn't giving him the signal that I was in labor. He kept saying "What's wrong? What can I do?", and I didn't even have the strength to talk. I just needed to work through the pain. Finally, I mustered up the energy to say "Just give me a second here..." and the agony finally subsided after 30 seconds or so. Funny thing is, Jim didn't even remember the episode the following day!

What I miss: Having a normal, comfortable body that can move, bend over and pick up my child. I've declared myself free of picking up anything that falls on the floor. Yesterday I dropped my wireless mouse in the kitchen and from the other room I heard Jim yell, " I got it!" I love that man :)

Cravings: Nothing. Although I'm still digging that strange chemically smell that really has no rhyme or reason. Eli and I visited Jim at the fire station last week and when I walked into the bay [where they park the ambulances and fire trucks], my mouth started watering from the awesome smell. And at random times of the day I open our basement door and take in a deep breath of whatever it is I'm attracted to.

Symptoms: Wow, you guys. Things have totally changed since my last update. I'm guessing either baby girl has gone through a growth spurt or my body is in the beginning stages of labor preparation. I've been in so much pain [and this is something I never experienced with Eli]. Most of the time, I feel pretty much useless. My entire uterus is extremely sore and tender to the touch from the outside. If I happen to graze my belly on the kitchen counter or on Eli's crib while putting him down, the pain is unreal. Sort of feels like I have a million bruises on the inside. I have to sit down every couple of hours and recline at a 45 degree angle [doctor's orders] in order to give my skin, muscles and squashed organs a rest. Baby girl must like the left side of my belly because that's the only place she'll hang out. I can literally push all the way down on my right but the second I slightly push on my left, I meet resistance. By the end of the day, my lower left belly is SO SORE and I'm usually walking around hunched over. I used to rub coconut oil on my stomach before bed to dodge stretch marks but now I do it solely because the massage is absolutely necessary for pain relief.

Other than that, I'm feeling a ton of pressure "down there", still getting random Braxton Hicks and have to pee a lot. Standing up from bed or the couch is no longer graceful. I either roll off or do that whole exaggerated lead-with-the-belly move we all see on TV. I'm definitely at the point where I want this baby out now but have to focus on taking it one day at a time.

Best Moment this week: On the nursery front, Jim finished the dresser. So now that leaves me to just decorate the room and wash all of baby girl's newborn clothes.

Best comment of the week: My doctor was on vacation last week so at my appointment I met with another ob/gyn who just so happened to be the guy who delivered Eli. The first thing he said to me was "Hi" and the second was "This second delivery will be easier". I kind of wanted to crawl under the table from embarrassment. Not only does dude know me from my expanded and blown out lady parts but also my loud and incessant screaming. He must have remembered or else why would he have said that?

What I'm looking forward to: Cooler temperature and that first sip of a fall beer in 7 weeks.

Milestones: Baby girl now as toenails, fingernails and hair [if she's anything like Eli, it will be a lot!]. Her skin is also plumping up as she prepares to meet the outside world. I also have to add this week's photo from Babycenter because I'm at the point where I look at these things and say "No way!"

51 days to go!

7 Links Meme

2011-08-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

Alright...time to shake things up around here. I haven't done one of these "nomination" posts is a long time. Let's be real - some of them were getting pretty old. But this one is different and kind of fun. Leah, over at Marital Bless sent this my way and I'm happy to oblige. Believe it or not, I often times get lost in my old blog posts after Eli goes to bed. I love going back and reading about all I've done in the past 3 years so this was right up my alley.

What this is about:
To unite bloggers (from all sectors) in a joint endeavor to share lessons learned and create a bank of long but not forgotten blog posts that deserve to see the light of day again.

Rules:
1) Blogger is nominated to take part
2) Blogger publishes his/her 7 links on his/her blog – 1 link for each category.
- Your most beautiful post
– Your most popular post
– Your most controversial post
– Your most helpful post
– A post whose success surprised you
– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
– The post that you are most proud of

3) Blogger nominates up to 5 more bloggers to take part.
4) These bloggers publish their 7 links and nominate another 5 more bloggers
5) And so it goes on!
6) The site Trip Base be sharing the best posts from participating bloggers on their blog and everyday on Facebook and Twitter at #My7Links

And let's begin:

1. My most beautiful post has to be, hands down, Eli's birth story. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I read it and the pictures always make me tear up. I'll cherish this story for the rest of my life.

2. Based on the number of comments it received, my most popular post was "Welcome Eli James", announcing my bub's arrival.

Coming in at a close second was when I announced I was ditching corporate America and heading back to school to pursue physical therapy.

3. Not one to ruffle feathers, I don't think I have too many controversial posts. However, on November 3, 2008, I publicly pledged to vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin. Those who commented expressed their agreement with me, but we all know politics can cause contention and I'm sure I had many people unsubscribing me from google reader.

4. My most helpful post? HHmmm? Again, I'm not one to post tutorials or "how to's" because frankly, I believe that if I have something figured out, then a million other people have as well. So, I'll take a different direction here and say my "Not your Typical Mother's Day Post" wins this one. So many people emailed me to express their gratitude and share their stories of infertility. I truly felt like I reached out to those who were hurting when I wrote this one. And I meant every word.

5. The post whose success surprised me has to be this silly one about me getting my hair chopped off. Of all the things I've written about and THIS gets a good chunk of comments!? Odd.

6. The post I felt didn't get the attention it deserved is probably, well, most of my photo shoot sneak peaks. Is that entirely too haughty to admit? When I first started out in photography, I was swarmed with comments and emails about what camera and lenses I use, how I edit and what classes/books helped me along the way. Now those posts pretty much have me hearing crickets. Maybe...I....stink? :)

7. And lastly, the post I'm most proud of is "10 years" which I wrote on New Years Eve 2009. I laughed my butt off riffling through photos and had a blast recalling all those memories. I think I gained a hefty amount of new readers that day too. Who would have thought I would have gone from this in the year 2000:

To an expectant mother in 2009:

Yeah, that was a fun one.

And now, nominations. Here's the honest to goodness truth - I think the majority of bloggers in my circle have already been tagged [or have private blogs] so I really don't have any more to nominate! Going through my google reader though, I'm pretty sure these two ladies are still reading along so here ya go. Play along if you want :)

This Girl's Life

Sarah Says...

Pregnancy #2 - 30w6d

2011-08-25T10:36:00.002-05:00

Note to self: Make hair appointment asap!

How Far Along: 30 weeks, 6 days. Home stretch or still a long way to go??

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 15.7 inches from head to toe and weighs almost 3 pounds. Every day it feels as though she is getting bigger and bigger though! We're at that point where I can poke my stomach and detect exactly where she is. Jim, too, can feel her if I tell her where to push on my belly.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: About 21-22ish lbs. I was SHOCKED at my appointment last week when I saw I was up only 20 lbs. I gained less than a pound from my previous appointment and those two weeks included pigging out at the State Fair and eating endless desserts from my 30th birthday. Maybe, just maybe, I'll gain less than 35 lbs this time around.

Maternity Clothes: Of course. I think it'd be downright hilarious and ridiculous if I even tried to fit into my regular clothes.

Gender: A sweet pea little girl :)

Movement: Stronger and stronger every day. It's cool to lay in bed at night with Jim and watch my belly move in waves.

Sleep: OOhh, we're there. Uncomfortable and frustrating! I'm getting tired of sleeping on my sides and moving involves a ton of grunting, jerky moves and pillow rearranging. I totally can't wait to snooze on my stomach again!

What I miss: Moving faster than a snail's pace. Everything I do takes at least 2 or 3 times longer.

Cravings: I'm not exactly craving certain foods but there have been instances when I've bitten in to something and thought "ooooh, YUM!". Wanna guess what those were? Broccoli and celery! Odd, no? I've eaten those in the past week and once they hit my palate I thought I was in heaven.

Here's another odd phenomenon. I know some women experience pica during their pregnancies. I, luckily, never have....at least I don't think I have. However, in the past week or so, I've come across certain smells that literally make me stop dead in my tracks while my mouth waters. I can barely describe this but I'll do my best. Whenever the air conditioner kicks on in our house or car, I RELISH the smell. I literally put my face 2 feet away from the vents and take deep breaths. It's all industrial-y and chemically smelling and I just love it so freakin' much. Did you guys have those custodial closets in grade school where you had to clean the erasers? What I would GIVE to spend an hour or two in that that room!!! Seriously. Just typing that out right now is making my mouth water like crazy. Any explanations? Or am I just plain old weird?

Symptoms: Just feeling really huge and ready to have this baby. My back pain is pretty much gone though which makes me want to name this child after my chiropractor. That would be odd though since he's a HE. [But seriously, I have a whole blog post churning in my head....natural medicine continues to convince me more and more that our current medical system might be missing the mark]. Strangely, I don't have any major swelling, except when I spend large amounts of time sitting at the computer editing photos.

Best Moment this week: A lot :) Jim painted the trim and walls in the nursery. Baby girl's crib is set up and I swear, we're pros at this now. It must have taken half the time to put together her crib compared to Eli's. The room is coming together and I just love walking past it and seeing how cute it is.

Also, on Monday night, I thought I was going to a routine dinner with my grandma, aunts and cousins [from my dad's side of the family] and when I walked into the restaurant, my mom was also there. I glanced at the table and saw cupcakes, gifts and ribbons and immediately realized they were up to something. And so, we spent the next few hours eating and laughing while my wonderful family "sprinkled" me with baby gifts. It was awesome and the exact the reminder I needed that I'm so blessed.

Best comment of the week: This has been somewhat of a humorous question in my weekly posts but things took a different turn recently. I'll just use this time to say this - Words cut deep. Words can hurt. It's best to think before you spew out harsh comments, especially when it's family. I'm not going into details here. But if you are friends with me on FB, you've no doubt have had a peek into the drama. I've forgiven but I'm certainly going to stand up for myself. And that's that :)

What I'm looking forward to: Let's bring on the cooler temps, please!

Milestones: Baby girl is working on her eye sight and I'm down to the every other week doctor appointments! That alone will make time fly by! Did you know we have only 64 days to go?!

Pregnancy #2 - 29 weeks

2011-08-12T05:48:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 29 weeks!

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 15 inches from head to toe and weights 2 1/2 pounds. I feel as though she has gone through a growth spurt since I last wrote [just shy of 27 weeks] because I feel huge, wobbly and achy in places that didn't bother me a few short weeks ago. Although my doctor did mention that I might have a little one on my hands since she was measure a tad small based on my fundal height [she said the same for Eli though and he came in at a healthy 7 lbs, 4 oz, so we'll see]

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Ignorance is bliss. I'm guessing around the 20 lb mark based on my doctor's appointment last week. Not to go into huge detail here but I'm taking steps to accept my current size and the fact that I'm only going to get bigger these next 11 weeks so one way of doing that is to just ignore the scale. I may check in momentarily but I'm sick of the worrying and predicting.

Maternity Clothes: I'm in a mixture of both. Like I've said before, with the higher temps we've recently had, I have been living in dresses which are non-maternity. I wear maternity shorts when I have to but as God as my witness, those things are evil. I hate them so much. I'm still lounging around in Jim's boxers here at home which rocks. And truth be told, if I have to go anywhere and look half way decent, I stare in my closet frustrated because I have nothing to wear. We're at that point where I feel like I need to expand my wardrobe but I refuse to drop a penny on anything else maternity.

Gender: Baby girl :) .......who may have a name ;)

Movement: Oh yeah, she's in there! She's definitely more of a mover than Eli was which scares the bejeezes out of me. Dude can't sit still for 0.0005 of a second so if gestational movement is any indication of what she'll be like out here, I'm in for some trouble :) I can also tell how she's laying because every time she moves I feel pokes and prods in my left rib and right hip bone. Baby girl is definitely laying on a diagonal.

Sleep: When I sleep, I'm dead to the world. But every night I'm up at least two or three times to pee. I have officially hit that frustrating stage of pregnancy where any position is just uncomfortable to sleep. I'm dragging a pillow around with me all night long, which, as you know, is always fun.

What I miss: I went out with a friend for Mexican food the other night and she had a margarita [on the rocks, with salt...just the way I like it] and I was literally drooling. I know I always say I miss being skinny but this week I found myself missing being active, lifting a ton of weights, running my heart out and sweating like a beast. Well, I'm still sweating but that happens even just sitting at the computer.

Cravings: Nothing. Trying to stick to the good stuff - egg whites, loads of veggies, fruit, meats, etc. Jim and I are also trying to avoid grains, some dairy and sugar. But we have our moments and when we do, it's pretty ugly. Like Sunday night, as we went to bed, I tossed and turned for 30 minutes before Jim asked what was wrong. I was starving. Not like "oh, I could go for....", it was more like "my stomach is going to implode if I don't eat something SOON!" So my wonderful hubby jumped out of bed and went to McDonalds. As if that wasn't pathetic enough, he chowed down on a burger and fries and I inhaled a McFlurry IN BED. We literally finished our meals, threw our trash on the nightstand and went to sleep. And then, of course, there was the State Fair this week where we split a burger, fried oreos [PLEASE let these be in heaven!!!!!!] and came home with a three pack of cream puffs and salt water taffy. Sugar hangover, anyone?

Symptoms: Oh boy....to tread lightly or not? As I said before, I haven't updated in two weeks and that basically comes down to one thing - I've been so crabby and frustrated, at times I don't have the energy to blog or answer emails or do anything. Between the excruciating back pain and unbelievably high temperatures, I've been on the verge of many breakdowns. I remember experiencing this same frustration with Eli around the 30 week mark as well because while I feel HUGE and ready to have this baby, reality is, we ain't anywhere close! People tell me I look like I'm ready to have this child; I look down and think "how much more can I grow?!" and those two combined can leave me a big ball of nerves.

Luckily, the temperature has dropped this week to the 70's and I've been a happy, happy camper. My three times a week chiropractor appointments are definitely paying off. The bone/nerve pain I was feeling in my lower back is pretty much gone! I'm still in pregnancy misery if I work too hard or lift too much but I'm noticing that the pain subsides by the next morning if I take care of myself whereas before, there was no relief of any kind.

Other symptoms include peeing ALL THE TIME, the start of lower abdominal pressure and BH contractions every single day.

Best Moment this week: Despite the crabbiness, there have been some really good moments these past few weeks. We basically have everything for the nursery and now we just need to paint and assemble. Baby girl's crib is here, I finally found bedding that I like and we bought a dresser off of craigslist. Last night I went to TJ Maxx to browse through clothes and ended up finding a lamp and rug that matches the nursery color palette perfectly!

Settling on a name for baby girl was also pretty awesome. That night after the decision was made, I had a dream I was holding her and woke up feeling so much more bonded with my daughter.

Best comment of the week: Those comments are starting up again :( At a wedding this past Saturday night I went to the bathroom and there was another wedding party chilling in there. Before stepping into a stall, an obnoxious bridesmaid yelled out "WHOA! You're having that baby any day now!!" I just looked at her blankly and said "No, not until the end of October." You'd think that would have shut her up but the look of sheer horror and amusement on her face just angered me more. This was one of those bad nights where I was in so much pain and feeling huge so I was in no mood to be cordial. Luckily, one of our bridesmaids - and a friend of mine- happened to be nearby and she lightened the mood and made me laugh.

I was also told I'm looking "healthy"....and we all know what that means.

But then I get those awesome comments that I'm "almost there" and I just want to hug that person.

What I'm looking forward to: Jim's on vacation for 11 days as of 7am today, which means it's time to tackle that nursery! And my 30th birthday party this Saturday....watch out world. It's gonna get wild! :) My old roommates, Alicia and Suzie, are also coming in to town and spending the weekend here. I can't wait to see them!!!

Milestones: I'm officially in the third trimester, thank you Jesus. Baby girl's muscles and lungs are continuing to mature and her head is getting bigger [yikes!] to accommodate that growing brain. Apparently 250 milligrams of calcium are being deposited into her bones every day which could be the reason I'm finding myself eating yogurt with berries and flax seed or spinach omelets in the morning.

We have about 76 days to go! [yes, I'm counting :)]

The Dirty Thirty

2011-08-09T06:22:00.004-05:00

Wow, you guys, today is my birthday and I'm 30. Thirty!

It kind of blows my mind that it's actually happening. I think at one point in our lives we realize we're getting older but when a milestone like this actually comes, we're scratch our heads wondering how on earth we got here. I remember when Jim turned the big three-oh a year and a half ago, I thought he was "so old" and quite glad he was ahead of me. Didn't take long for me to catch up, apparently... :)

But honestly, if someone asked me how I truly felt, I'd say happy, content, blessed and thankful. Looking back, these past ten years have been AMAZING. I can't help but smile and laugh at all the memories. I entered this decade a naive kid who just wanted to have a good time and am leaving as someone who has settled down in a house with a husband, dog and 1.5 children. There have been some happy moments and some not so happy moments, but I wouldn't have it any other way and am very thankful where this past decade has taken me.

Yesterday I started thinking about all those moments and had to laugh at how much has changed. I thought now would be an excellent time to stroll down memory lane and share some crazy, unnecessary tidbits with you. I'm not sure if you'll think more or less of me :)

When I was 20 and living in the dorms at UW-Madison, my roommate and I spent waaaaay too much time making prank calls. One of our specialties was dialing up local bars and asking if they served "medinas". Almost 100% of the time, the bartender would ask what a "medina" was and we'd respond with "you know....a funky, cold medina", while then blasting Tone Loc in the background and hanging up. We'd inevitably find ourselves in a fit of laughter on our floor and thought we were the funniest people on the planet.

At 21, while celebrating my roommate, Alicia's birthday here in Milwaukee, I found myself in a dance contest [ok, it was a booty contest] at a downtown club. I somehow made my up on the bar along with twenty other females shaking my groove thang while the crowd voted. And guess what? I won. I can't even imagine dancing in front of hundreds of people NOW let alone finding the moves to win such a silly event but back when I was 21, I apparently had something fierce going on. And if you think that's bad enough....that little episode also landed me a job at that bar that summer. I have never in my entire life made so much money and all I did was sell Miller Lites and shots of Jaeger.

At 22, I was so in looooooooooove with my new, older, mature, handsome, this-is-the-guy-I'm-going-to-marry, boyfriend. But he lived in Milwaukee and I was still in Madison finishing up my senior year of college. So, of course that meant more shenanigans with the roomies. Every year around finals in May, there is a huge block party in Mad-town [ie. another reason to drink]. I hadn't planned on taking part in the festivities but somehow found myself enjoying a bloody Mary with the roommate around 1 pm, polishing off a 6 pack of Miller Lite by 3 pm, probably doing shots around 5 pm and staggering home by 6pm. And by staggering I mean laughing my butt off while walking down State Street. Back in the day I was a giggly drinker. Oh no, I was not [nor could I stand] the girl who cried in the corner of bars. I laughed. And I laughed hard. That particular evening I thought it would be such a good idea to also go on a stealing rampage and my friend and I ended up walking into our apartment with a taco bell tray, a soup of the day sign from Potbelly's and an old pair of Reebok sneakers. I think she still has the soup of the day sign.

At 23, I moved back home, got a real job and partook in a lot less craziness. Friday nights were no longer spent closing down college bars but instead spent watching a movie with the perfect boyfriend. I think this was also the year that I actually thought about my future: career, marriage, kids, the whole nine yards.

I got hitched at 24! People always say the first year of marriage is the hardest and I will flat out blatantly disagree. That first year of being married was WONDERFUL....everything was new, fresh and romantic. Cleaning the house even made me happy :) And let's be real, every word out of your mouth oozes with innuendo. I just felt dirty telling my friends it was time to go home because...you know ;) If anything stands out as being hilarious that year it would be getting walked in on during our honeymoon. Yes - me, Jim doing the deed and in walks a maid. I remember it clearly....I never jumped so high in my entire life.

The next couple of years were spent settling into marriage, trying to establish a career [but as you know, I hated every job I had] and well, kind of just chilling. Jim and I got into a routine of daily living. I started blogging and met some awesome people who have become real life friends. And photography started to interest me. While still fun, I guess life just started to calm down a bit. No more late night partying or random prank calls. If Jim and I wanted to waste a Saturday away lounging on the couch, watching movies, we could. Life was just very laid back....

Until.

Until a few weeks after my 28th birthday when I got a positive pregnancy test! And delivered a beautiful, healthy, perfect baby boy 9 months later. The relaxed, laid back life I knew was completely overhauled and transformed by late night feedings, swaddle blankets, nipple cream, breast pumps, rattles, sound machines, cloth diapers, pacifiers and strollers, oh my. As if that wasn't crazy enough....at 29, and 9 months after my boy was born I was yet again starring at ANOTHER positive pregnancy test. Oy vey. We just went from 60 mph to 100 and I don't think it's going to slow down any time soon!

So, here I am...30. Right now I'm sitting at my computer, waiting for my husband to come home from work while my 14 month old munchkin snoozes away in the other room. I woke up this morning and instead of nursing a hang over or getting dressed in a power suit, I spent about 5 minutes perusing my belly for the emergence of stretch marks [no new ones yet!]. Kind of symbolic of where I am in life, I guess :) But like I said, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Birthday to me!

Photo Booth

2011-08-08T14:11:00.002-05:00

They are all the rage and yet Jim and I are complete morons when it comes to those wedding photo booth set ups.

Take for instance, this past Saturday...

We're such amateurs and if I look like that every time we fight....dear God, no wonder Jim looks at me like I'm crazy.

At least we got one decent photo from the bunch.

Although I'm sure Jim likes the photo from May's wedding better. He thinks he's such a pimp.

But at least he's my pimp :)

Wait. That didn't sound right! Oh well, you get what I mean :)

Oh, the Irony

2011-08-05T10:53:00.002-05:00

In the midst of composing my 27 week pregnancy update, a situation arose that seems way more interesting to write about. Enjoy this fabulous Friday morning story.

We've had Eli in a "big boy" convertible car seat since he turned one. While prepping it in our living room shortly after making the purchase, Jim was adamant about teaching me how to install the car seat. I was, in simple terms, not thrilled to learn this. I'll be real here...I get women need to be independent and those who know how to change a tire are bad ass, but really, at times I'd like to leave certain jobs to the husband. And so, I was being difficult and asked him "could you please just do it yourself if the situation ever arises?" I knew I had months and months ahead of me of being pregnant and the last thing I wanted to do was lug a huge car seat from vehicle to vehicle simply because I knew "how to".

The conversation then continued on as I suggested buying a second car seat for his truck. Jim wasn't a fan of this idea and immediately dismissed it. I came up with a plethora of situations where this would be needed and he had an answer for everything I presented. Since Eli rarely rides in the truck, Jim really felt as though a second car seat was unnecessary. At the time I bit my tongue, because I was 1000000% certain something would come up when I could say "I told you so".

Ever since then there have been "mini" I-told-you-so moments but nothing that has totally convinced Jim. There were times I would head to a photo shoot and Jim would happily announce that he and Eli were going to the park or Menards. "How are you going to get there?", I'd ask since my car had Eli's seat. And so, my boys would stay at home or go for a walk around our neighborhood. There was another instant where we both NEEDED a vehicle and since Jim had to take Eli with him, I drove Jim's gas guzzling truck half way across town. Money straight out of our pockets since Jim didn't have far to drive at all. So yeah, little things that spoke volumes in my opinion.

Yesterday we went to pick up a dresser for the new nursery. I finally found the perfect one on craigslist and we obviously had to use the truck for pick up. As I fed Eli lunch, Jim transferred the car seat to the Ford F-150 for the first time ever.

Jim headed to work this morning and shortly after I woke up I checked my email and saw a message from him. He accidentally took my phone to work and if I wanted it, he'd leave it in his truck. No problem, I thought. I leisurely got Eli ready for the day, fed us breakfast and took my time cleaning up the kitchen. About an hour ago, I thought it'd be the perfect time to head to the fire station. I got dressed, changed Eli's diaper and headed out the door. I was about to open the back door to the car and what did I see? NO CAR SEAT! Not only did Jim take my phone, but he also forgot to transfer the convertible seat back to my car.

Oh...folks...you can only imagine my frustration at that point. I quickly ran back into the house, jumped on the computer and responded to Jim's email with "You DO realize you have the car seat, right?"

And our email conversation continued something like this:

"No, I didn't"

"Obviously. Can you at least get someone to bring me my phone?"

Long pause from Jim's end....

"I don't know when but I'll try."

And that's that. I'm at home with no phone or car seat for Eli. Not the end of the world exactly but an ironic story, nonetheless.

I'm telling ya. First thing tomorrow morning I'm going to the store and buying a second car seat. And I'll learn how to install that thing myself!

Ashley : Class of 2012 [Milwaukee Senior Photographer]

2011-08-04T14:38:00.004-05:00

Up until this point, I've photographed mainly babies and children. That's what initially drew me into photography and it's what I love. For a couple of years, Jim has actually been encouraging me to tap into the high school senior market and for some reason, I've been so hesitant. I have NO idea why but I just was.

When I attended Amy Wenzel's workshop in June I was given the opportunity to photograph two high school senior girls. The whole experience just BLEW my mind. For once I had subjects who stood still, listened to directions and cooperated so WONDERFULLY:) You couldn't help but get a ton of great images. Don't get me wrong...I adore photographing children. Nothing compares to those real, honest to goodness expressions the little ones make. But the interactions with older kids is just really cool and adds a nice variety to what I do.

Ashley was actually my first high school senior and I don't think I could have asked for a better subject. We had a blast shooting in the Third Ward and down by the lake front. The lighting was just spectacular! If I don't have a child's schedule to work around, I'll almost always suggest meeting an hour or two before sunset because you really can't beat the light!

Here are a few of my favorites. I honestly had too many so I'm trying to choose just a few :)

Pregnancy #2 - 26w6d

2011-07-28T20:41:00.006-05:00

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

See? Sometimes behind those "adorable" shots, there's an entirely different story. That was today. Meltdown central, indeed. In case you're wondering, the sequence continues as I turn around with Eli and take him upstairs for a time out. Jim was nice enough to capture that all on camera.

How Far Along: 26 weeks, 6 days

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 14 inches long [I can tell!] and weighs a pound and two-thirds.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 17 lbs...a week without any gain!

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes except for my dresses. Still loving Jim's boxers for lounging around the house.

Gender: I'm wondering if this question is even necessary anymore. We all know it's a girl and I think we're making progress on the name.

Movement: She's getting stronger and stronger by the day. My tummy moves in waves now and is easily visible to anyone nearby. I also noticed that if she kicks or moves near my upper stomach, I can feel it in my lower stomach - a sign that she's getting taller!

Sleep: Still fabulous in every way. I'm beginning to wonder when this will change. It has to be soon, right?

What I miss: Beer, wine, wearing a bikini.

Cravings: Still nothing extremely strong but I find myself giving in and buying almond m&m's again.

Symptoms: So, this totally sucks. Since my last post, I've had three episodes where I almost passed out. The first happened last week while Jim was at work. I went to pick up a toy on the kitchen floor and when I stood up, I saw a fly from the corner of my eye. I tried to follow it and suddenly I saw a few more flies, which quickly turned into my entire kitchen wall FULL of black bugs. It finally hit me that there was nothing there and what I was seeing was, in fact, spots from possible low blood pressure. What amazed me was that I felt absolutely fine. Then a few days later at the chiropractor's office, I got up from the table and immediately felt light headed. I was able to breath and compose myself without giving anything away, thank God. But this morning it happened again at my appointment and I absolutely had to say something and sit down. My head was woozy, I was seeing spots and my hearing started to go...all clear signs to me that I was seconds away from fainting. My doctor immediately got me some water and told me to relax. After a few minutes I felt fine so I stood up but within seconds of treatment all those crazy things started happening again. I thought for sure I was a goner but luckily I was able to sit down and compose myself. The embarrassing thing was the chiropractor insisted on walking me to the door. After getting into my car I thought I had enough energy to hit the grocery store for a few items. I felt another episode come on in the produce section. Luckily no one was around so I was able to breath and drop my head for a few seconds. But you better believe I grabbed what I could and got out of there as fast as possible!

The back pain comes and goes. When it's bad, it's BAD! Like, excruciating bad. And when it's good, it's just bearable. I'm finding that the chiropractor is making a big difference and I feel pretty good the rest of the day.

Other than that, I could pee 24 hours straight. Literally, I pee, walk out of the bathroom, take 5 steps and feel the need to pee again. All. Day. Long.

Best Moment this week: Finding out that our insurance WILL cover chiropractic care!! And I decided on our baby bedding :)

Best comment of the week: Hhmmm...nothing really comes to mind. People have been nice lately :)

What I'm looking forward to: Working on the nursery and hopefully passing my glucose test scheduled for Tuesday.

Milestones: I'm rounding off the second trimester these next two weeks...yikes!!! Baby girl's ears are rapidly developing which means she can possibly sense what's going on out here. That thought makes me happy as I sing to Eli everyday before he naps. She's also inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid giving her practice for when she gulps that first burst of air :)

Pre-baby Jitters and a To-do List

2011-07-25T06:31:00.006-05:00

Wanna know what my current facebook status is on this lovely Monday?

Couldn't sleep last night. Beginning to worry about all the baby stuff we need to do. She's going to be here in 90 some days and we all know how fast that will fly by!

It looks as though my wonderful sleep-filled nights might be over, or at least temporarily interrupted until we get our butts moving. I totally get that I still have 90 days. That's three whole months. But do you guys realize how quickly that is going to pass by? I swear, wasn't the 4th of July just yesterday?! It's now quickly approaching August and I have no idea where this past month went. When I told Jim we were pregnant, we had 248 days until my EDD. 248 days! And now we're down to 90 which means it's time to move!

This anxiety all stemmed from a BOB Duallie stroller I found on craigslist late last week. A guy in Chicago was selling his for $250 - a HUGE steal considering new these go close for $650. Still, despite the fact that it was a killer deal, it's not like Jim and I have an extra 250 bucks just sitting around waiting to be spent. Fortunately, due to a financial gift from my parents and an extra pay day in the month of July, some late night number crunching made me realize we could buy this stroller. Since Jim was at work though, I decided to just wait until this morning to talk to him about it. Big mistake! For some odd reason, this stupid stroller was in my head all night long and I kept waking up thinking of ways to word my email to the seller. I finally gave in to the restlessness and got up at 5 am to contact the guy. When I searched for the ad again on craigslist, it was GONE! No wonder I couldn't sleep! Never ever doubt a woman's intuition.

So, at first I was really bummed and began searching all surrounding cities for another BOB double stroller. Nothing came close to the original deal which made my heart sink even more. On top of that, due to cookies and all my Internet searches, any ad that shows up on my computer is completely baby related - only adding fuel to my anxiety ridden fire. Not a cool way to start a Monday morning.

Which leads me to this: What exactly do I need for baby girl? I suppose this is an excellent time to get organized and make a list. Right now we've managed to clear out the new nursery and order the crib but there is still so much to be done. If any other moms with two under two can add anything, I'd appreciate the insight. Between freaking out and this busy summer, I'm bound to forget something.

Double Stroller: At first I had no idea if I wanted a front and back tandem stroller or a side-by-side. My initial reaction was a side-by-side based solely on the fact that they look cooler. After doing more research, asking other parents and evaluating our needs, I feel a double jogging [side-by-side] stroller is the way to go. Not only will this serve as our everyday stroller but we'll also have the option to run with the kids if the mood strikes. I'd hate to buy a regular stroller only to realize we want a jogger and then find ourselves with 50 strollers stashed in the garage when all is said and done. One will certainly do. I suppose I can live without a BOB - the Cadillac of joggers - so I've been looking at the InSTEP Grand Safari Swivel Double Baby Jogging Stroller and think this will fit our budget and taste nicely. In anticipation of the comments, I've done my research and know that ADA requirements state all public doorways have to be at least 32 inches wide so I'm confident this stroller will work for everyday use.

Crib bedding: WANTED - Modern bedding with bright, girly colors against white background. Colors must include something other than just pink and green! Oh and it shouldn't cost an arm and a leg [especially if offered at Target!]. Not interested in ruffled skirts, lace or patterns that portray farm animals, letters, numbers or fairy princesses.

Nursery Paint, Decorations and Wall Art: Solely based on aforementioned crib bedding that apparently doesn't exist.

Dresser: I'm totally not picky here and would love to find a used one on craigslist or at a rummage sale. My only condition is it has to be in somewhat decent shape and have functional drawers. Earlier in the summer, Jim and I stopped at a rummage and found the PERFECT dresser that just needed a good paint job. I'm sort of kicking myself for not buying it at $20 but it seemed like such a hefty piece of furniture to buy without storage room. I'm hoping we find something soon.

More Cloth Diapers: I've gotta do some more pondering about this. Our CD stash consists of 18 diapers which isn't necessary anymore. At the most Eli goes through 5 or 6 a day so I'm not exactly sure how many more we'll need for baby girl. Maybe another 3 or 6 pack? Regardless, even if we are golden in this area, I don't think I can resist purchasing 1 or 2 more Fuzzibunz in pink or purple! :)

Crib Mattress: This just hit me. Yes, we need another crib mattress.

A Name: Poor child doesn't have a name yet. I know it's still early and a ton of parents don't know what they will call their child until after he or she is born. But for some reason I really want to settle on something so I can feel a tad more in touch with my daughter. By this time in my last pregnancy, Eli was the front runner and we called him this behind closed doors. I did, however, find myself call baby girl by a name this weekend without even realizing it. Maybe it's a sign?

***

In the grand scheme of things, we're good. I actually started this post a few hours ago and since then Jim has talked me down from the ledge :) Even if none of these things get done by the time October rolls around, we'll be okay. Eli slept in our room until he was 3 months old and unless something drastically different happens this time, baby girl will too. So, if the nursery isn't finished, it's not the end of the world [although I'd hate to put together a nursery with a one year old AND a newborn to take care of]. Plus, we have most of the essentials: swing, bouncy seat, swaddles, burp clothes, bottles, moby wrap and breast pump. We'll survive :) But it's still good to get a little organized around here. This list seems to cover what we truly NEED. Any other moms want to weigh in on what I might be forgetting?

Pregnancy #2 - 25w5d

2011-07-21T13:13:00.005-05:00

A black dress on a 100 degree day? Sadly, Jim and I took this photo last night after we got home from a funeral. On Monday morning, Jim called from work to let me know he was going to be acting lieutenant at a different fire station for the next 24 hours. Unfortunately one of the firefighters called in sick because his fiancee's dad was tragically killed while riding his bicycle the night before. Not only is Jenna a fellow fire fighter's soon-to-be wife, but I also worked with her back in my corporate America days when we used to have lunch together. Such a sad story and she's been on my mind ever since I heard the news. Please pray for Jenna and her family during this time. And while I hate to make this about me, I can't help but state how terrified I am now since Jim takes this route often when he rides his bike. I know I can't keep him from doing what he loves so I just hope to trust God in all of this.

Anyway, enough of the sad stuff...let's get on to baby girl's progress!

How Far Along: 25 weeks, 5 days

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 13 and 1/2 inches long and weighs a pound and a half.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 17 lbs

Maternity Clothes: Well, since it's a bazillion degrees outside I'm wearing mostly sundresses which luckily aren't maternity. And when I'm lounging around the house, I'm sporting Jim's boxers as shorts since they are nice and loose.

Gender: It's still a girl and she's still nameless. Anyone have any suggestions? ;)

Movement: All the time. Last week she was kicking me in the ass....literally.

Sleep: Wow, despite the heat and growing belly, I'm sleeping like a champ. I love it! Last night I don't think I moved once in bed since I woke up in pretty much the same position. I honestly think the heat and always-on-the-go toddler just wipe me out.

What I miss: An ice cold beer [the darker the better!] and the sense of being skinny.

Cravings: You know what sounds amazing right now? Banana peppers! Yum...I think I might have to make a trip to the store later. I also caved and bought peanut M&M's several times this week.

Symptoms: I had more Braxton Hicks contractions last week than I did during my entire pregnancy with Eli. At Jim's family reunion, I absolutely had to hand Eli off to Jim while I sat down for a while. A few nights later, those stinkin' contractions were back and lasted all night. It got so bad that I was tempted to get out of bed and google search what was normal. Luckily they went away by morning but for a while there, I was beginning to wonder...

The back pain has also been taken to a whole new level this week; I finally caved and made an appointment with a chiropractor. Pre-natal massages just aren't cutting it anymore and the pain feels like it's coming more from the bone rather than muscle. I'm not sure how many of you feel about chiropractors but I've gotta say I'm liking what I see so far. The place I go has an entirely holistic approach to life which I LOVE and up until this point my treatment has been extremely gentle and effective. In fact, at times I wish the chiro would step it up a bit and really crank on my lower back! But whatever he does, feels amazing and I walk out of there like a wet noodle. I've got one more appointment but that's it for a while since our insurance won't cover ongoing treatment :(

Our symptoms included peeing all the time and horrendous charlie horses - both of which wake me up often in the middle of the night. I think I hit a new self record earlier this week when I woke up to pee three times before midnight.

Best Moment this week: I'm making slow progress on the nursery. And by progress I don't mean actual work, it's more like brainstorming. We ordered the crib and it arrived yesterday [hallelujah!] but I tell ya, I'm having a heck of a time finding bedding that I love. I really, really, really don't like any of those bed in a bag deals and even the three fabric stores I've been to just don't have anything that grabs me. If I close my eyes, I can see the perfect pattern but I've yet to find it. Pottery Barn Kids has a set that I think I'll "settle" for but it's really far off from the color palette I have in mind. I have to wait for another pay day to buy it because dude, it's Pottery Barn.

Best comment of the week: Just today someone told me that I must not have gained any weight yet. Nice compliment, right? Except they followed it with "because last time you were HUGE", while puffing out their arms to show just how wide I apparently was with Eli's pregnancy.

I was also "asked" if [and by asked, I mean it was implied that] I was being too picky about my bedding choice. Um, no. This may be my only chance to decorate a baby girl's nursery so let me be, thankyouverymuch.

What I'm looking forward to: Another somewhat easy going week. No birthday parties, no family reunions! I think I'll take advantage of this time and get some more organizing done around here.

Milestones: Did you know that as of today, we are down to double digits until my due date...exactly 99 days to go. Right now baby girl is accumulating all that adorable baby fat and growing more hair. If she's anything like Eli, she's going to have a head full by her birth day!

Eli - Fourteen Months [And I thought the newborn stage was hard!]

2011-07-20T06:00:00.002-05:00

Ah, the toddler years. I just want to smile, laugh and leave you with this photo.

Eli's little personality has just EXPLODED these past two months. I thought he had his opinions at 9 months...psht! I had noooo idea. None. I know I alluded to this in my Babywise post but Eli can be quite the handful at times. Don't get me wrong, he's a perfectly average kid from what I can see, but there are moments when I want to just pull my hair out. When he's mad, he's MAD. Take for instance, diaper changes. I'll admit there are moments when I delay that change longer than I should only because I'm not ready to take on the temper tantrum and thrashing of legs. I've tried pretty much everything - sweet talking, toy distraction, giving the "mom look" and nothing works. Lately though I've been praising him for being such a good boy well before I take off that diaper and that seems to be helping a bit. Eli may not like being confined for 30 seconds but at least he's letting me do my job. On the flip side though, when Eli's happy, he's a total ham and just makes my day. Jim and I have never gotten such a kick out of anything as much as we do over our goofy little man. For some strange reason, Eli has mastered this crazy laugh which sounds more like hyperventilating than anything. But it's hilarious and the more we laugh at Eli, the more he puts on a show.

I've also discovered a little trick that can calm Eli down from a crying fit right before bed. Whenever I close a book and say "all done", Eli gets pretty upset that the party is over. But once I hold him close and start singing quietly to him, he's total mush in my arms. Not gonna lie...I totally love it. We'll rock for a bit but long gone are the days when he falls asleep in my arms. Now Eli prefers to be put in his crib and doze off on his own. Sometimes he'll chatter after I leave the room, but for the most part, he immediately rolls over and falls asleep. I suppose this is a good thing seeing that we'll have another baby around in 3 short months but I really enjoyed having those quiet, calm moments at the end of every day with my guy.

There's no stopping this kid. If Eli isn't sleeping or in his high chair, he's running around everywhere. My grandma once asked me if Eli likes to sit on the floor and play with a toy and I just had to laugh. There's no way this kid could sit still for an extended period of time, which is totally expected from a one year old little boy. As long as the house is baby proofed and the gates are up, I can just let Eli do his thing while I do mine [like right now, for instance :)] But the hard part comes when we go places. With summer upon us, Jim, Eli and I have attended our fair share of barbecues, birthday parties and family reunions and that's when we get our run for our money. Eli is totally intrigued with the big kids and wants to play with them but I can't have him hanging around flying baseballs. So, of course Jim or I have to pull him away which leads to another melt down. I feel bad for my bumpkin since he just wants to hang with the cool kids and can't wait for the day when he's able to play to his heart's content.

Speaking of always being on the move..does anyone else have a toddler who LOVES to push or pull things? If it's movable and within reach, Eli WILL get it across the room somehow. Just yesterday I heard him groaning and grunting only to turn around and see him pushing our desktop tower that we just got repaired across the room!

I feel like Eli has been a sponge these past few weeks and is finally understanding [or finally just cooperating] things. Jim and I have been signing to him for what feels like forever and just recently we're seeing Eli communicate "more" and "all done" to us. And he's waving bye-bye now. I've also been playing the "So BIG" game with him for months and just last week, he threw his hands up in the air with a huge grin on his face...almost like "Here ya go, mom!" Eli will also point to my nose when asked and he's totally intrigued by my belly button. Several times a day I'll pull up my shirt, point and say "baby" and he'll just smile and poke and prod my ever changing belly button. Toys are also beginning to make sense. He now understands that this button makes that noise and if he puts a ball in this hole, it comes out over here. Totally cool to see his little brain working!

I'm not sure how it happened seeing that I've never taught Eli this but little man can dance now. One day Kenny Chesney was on TV and Eli started bouncing up and down to the music. Now whenever we say "Dance, Eli, dance", he smiles and squats up and down.

Latest obsession is airplanes so we're always stopping and looking up at the sky whenever one passes by. Luckily my parents live near the airport so lately when we're over there hanging out in the pool, Eli gets his fill. Jim and I are going to make an effort to take Eli to the airport soon and watch the planes take off.

Communication-wise we're probably trailing behind most 14 month olds. Right now Eli consistently says "Dada" and "Uh-oh" and occasionally we can get "mama" out of him, but that's about it. I feel like one day he'll start spewing out words left and right like he's been waiting for a big reveal.

Some other totally random tidbits: Eli loves to give open mouth kisses, but only for me :) Jim seems to get slightly offended that Eli never plants one on him but I guess that what happens when "dada" is said more than "mama" :) Eli gets a total kick out of playing with Bailey. I'm not so sure if the pup likes it though. We've got a grand total of six teeth and I can see more coming in. And fruits and veggies are the food of choice for little man. He'll easily pass up a french fry for a carrot and a pancake drenched in syrup for a blueberry. No complaints here!

I just want to end by saying all those cliches are totally true - you love your child more and more each day. Yes, we'll have our bad days when everything makes Eli cranky but nothing, absolutely NOTHING, compares to the joy of watching your baby grow up. I can't imagine anything better than Eli putting his head on my shoulder when he's tired or reaching up for a hug when he's upset. At times I just want to squeeze Eli with all my might to let him know just how much he means to me. I truly can't imagine my life without him and really do wonder what took up so much of my heart before he was even here. He's my world and I just love him so, so much!

Pregnancy #2 - 24w1d

2011-07-09T14:31:00.003-05:00

Late again...as usual. Life just doesn't stop, huh? Last night was the icing on the cake as I rocked out with my BFF at the Britney Spears concert here in Milwaukee. Jim let me sleep in this morning and shamefully he and Eli are at church right now as I'm still sitting here in my pj's.

How Far Along: 24 weeks, 2 days

Size of baby: Baby girl is about a foot long and weighs just over a pound.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 15 lbs. No comment.

Maternity Clothes: A few words on the clothing situation. First off, do you remember when I went shopping for maternity clothes in May and bought a ton of capris? Well, sadly, I put a pair on this week and they were tight in my legs :( They fit, but I felt like some sort of encased sausage. On the bright side though, all this heat is making me run far away from pants, capris and even shorts [I'm not a shorts person even in the best of shape] so I've been lounging in dresses pretty much all the time. I love it...this is exactly how I envisioned pregnancy in the summer. Unfortunately, I'm at Kohls or TJ Maxx once a week putting a dent in our bank account.

Gender: It's a girl who continues to remain nameless. Although three names are on the top of my list right now. I guess I'm waiting for Jim to seal the deal with one of them.

Movement: She's a mover and a shaker - especially active right after I eat or rub lotion on my belly.

Sleep: Excellent. However I'm definitely at the beginning of that uncomfortable stage and have busted out my pregnancy pillow again.

What I miss: An ice cold beer and being skinny.

Cravings: Peanut M&M's, which Jim presented to me on our wedding anniversary. Man knows his way to my heart!

Symptoms: This heat is beginning to bother me and if I stay outside in the sun too long or work too hard, I'm SPENT for the rest of the day. Sadly, my back is beginning to really bother me as well which I'm sure has a lot to do with picking up Eli several times a day. I actually made a call to a chiropractor last week because the pain is pretty severe. And finally, I feel as though I'm entering that uncomfortable portion of pregnancy. I'm constantly shifting positions on the couch, my feet are swollen at the end of the day and if I bend or twist the wrong way, I get sharp zingers in my uterus.

Best Moment this week: I saw baby girl at my appointment and we confirmed that yes she's still a girl :) and yes, she's still healthy as can be. As you may recall, this ultrasound was to check on the placenta since it was too low at my 18 week appointment. The good news is, it has definitley moved and there no talk of a planned C-section! Last time the placenta was 1.8 mm away from my cervix and this time it had moved to 4 mm. My doctor wanted it to be higher than 2 mm so she was thrilled with the progress. In other news, we also - sound the trumpets! - cleared out the nursery so it's ready to be painted and decorated. Talk about a major weight off my shoulders. Oh, and Jim and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this week. Granted, we spent the day clearing out the baby's room and setting up my office in the bonus room but still...we spent time together which is all that matters to me.

Best comment of the week: Thank goodness there have been no rude or silly comments and instead I've been blessed with compliments. The best being that I'm "all belly". I'll take it.
.
What I'm looking forward to: Can't wait to get started on baby girl's room. Based on the chair we put in there, I at least have somewhat of a color palette to go off of now and can start looking for fabric for her bedding.

Milestones: I'm now in my 6th month of pregnancy. Baby girl's brain is growing quickly now and her taste buds are now developing.

Little Liam and Finding the LIGHT

2011-07-06T00:03:00.003-05:00

Ok, so one of these days I'll get around to writing about Amy Wenzel's workshop [tomorrow perhaps], but in the meantime I had to share this recent photo session. This was my first time meeting Liam and I must say, ever since having Eli, I feel such an incredible pull towards little boys. They get me every time.

One of the things I took away from Amy's workshop was finding the PERFECT light. As a photographer, I always knew the lighting was important and with Amy's help I feel like I'm better equipped to find it now. These two photos above were taken in the client's main entrance hallway facing the front door. We just moved the chair and I positioned myself outside on the porch with the door propped open.

Later we headed into the living room where I moved a couch to face a large window. I probably could have rotated the couch a tad more to reduce the shadows on Liam's face but the room wouldn't allow for it. Regardless, I'm happy with the results.

Ok, so you know how some photographers have their "go-to" poses? This is mine. I have to admit that photographing a six month old provides some interesting challenges. Since they aren't quite sitting up yet, you need to find ways to get them upright without the classic Sears/JCPenney's "pillow under a backdrop" move [which I despise]. I found that having mom or dad hold baby over their shoulder allows for me to get some great shots. This next photo isn't as sharp as I would like but I just love his expression. When weighing the pros and cons of this image, the pros won :)

Next we moved to the master bedroom which is one of my favorite places to shoot. If the bedding is just right and we have a nice large window to work with, we can get some adorable belly shots. Liam started to get a tad fussy at this point but after letting him jump a bit in his door bouncer, things were all good!

To end the session, the family and I headed to a nearby park. I adore shooting outside and if the weather is nice, it's an absolute must for me! Living in Wisconsin and battling indoor shoots during those long, cold winter months really makes me appreciate summer even more :)

Pregnancy #2 - 21w and 22w

2011-06-30T21:32:00.001-05:00

Oh gosh, okay..where am I? I had to consult my calendar to see how many weeks I am because somewhere between my last pregnancy post and now, I've lost my mind.

In case I haven't said it enough, these past two weeks have been o-wee-bit crazy. So you get one photo for this update, which was taken in my lovely hotel bathroom in Grand Rapid, Michigan. Don't be jealous.

How Far Along: 22 weeks, 6 days

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 11 inches long from head to foot and weighs almost a pound!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm guessing around the 11 lb mark. I haven't stepped on a scale in a week or so because I'm terrified of the news.

Maternity Clothes: Yup, although I enjoy finding shirts, like the one above, that isn't maternity and still fits me just fine.

Gender: Sugar and spice and everything nice - it's a girl! And currently Jim and I seem to disagree on a perfectly suitable name.

Movement: Finally - this child moves around all day long! We're even at the point where Jim can lay a hand on my belly and feel her kicking away. It's awesome...I forgot how amazing it is to feel your child moving inside of you. [And with that she just kicked me :)]

Sleep: I'll just repeat my last comment - "Excellent. And I'm so tired right now I could sleep for days." Also, guess what? I can still sleep on my belly! I'm going to enjoy this while I can.

What I miss: My thin thighs. Seriously, we've got some expansion going on over here.

Cravings: Lots of fresh fruit. Between Eli's obsession and my cravings, I feel like I'm at the grocery store every 3 days or so to stock up on watermelon, blueberries and strawberries.

Symptoms: The biggies this week have been exhaustion and headaches. Yesterday I had a morning photo shoot and as soon as I came home I fed Eli lunch, put him down for a nap and completely zonked out on the couch. Jim woke me up shortly before 1 so we could go to the zoo for the afternoon. When we got home I parked my butt on the couch AGAIN and fell asleep. I woke up only to walk to bed. So if you add that all up, I probably got about 13 to 15 hours of sleep last night. And I'm STILL exhausted!

Best Moment this week: Yesterday Jim and I celebrated 8 years together. We went on our first date on June 29th, 2003 and it just boggles my mind to think of all that has happened since then. I fondly think back to those two crazy kids who had no idea what was in store for them.

Best comment of the week: "Your husband has good shooters!" - a response to telling someone we're having a girl after having a boy.

What I'm looking forward to: I think I said this in my last update but we neeeeeeeed to get started on baby girl's nursery. But beside that, I have my next appointment next week which will include another ultrasound.

Milestones: Baby's lips, eyelids and eyebrows are getting more distinct and she's developing tiny tooth buds beneath her gums.

Next week I hope to get back on track and not take pictures from random bathrooms :)

Wising Up to Baby Wise

2011-06-29T05:55:00.004-05:00

For the past year or so, I've been dealing with an internal struggle. And last night I feel as though I finally made up my mind and put that struggle to rest.

Shortly after announcing our pregnancy with Eli, we started to get all sorts of advice. I'm sure many of you moms and moms-to-be out there can totally relate. Suddenly everyone takes an interest in the little things like bottles, strollers and diapers. You get overwhelmed because one mom swears by Dr. Browns while another laughed and said all those parts were a joke. One mom says she couldn't fathom using cloth diapers while another said they were the best decision she ever made. After hearing all these contradictory suggestions, you realize it's going to be up to you to decide which is best for your baby. Obviously...CLEARLY...all babies and families are different so to base your decision on what one mom says probably isn't the smartest idea.

Except...what if you CONSISTENTLY get RAVING reviews about a product or idea? What if, everywhere you turned, someone was singing the praises about how their child slept through the night at six weeks because of a book they read? And even more difficult - what if, most, if not all of this advice, came from your Godly, Christian friends whose words of wisdom meant a lot to you? It'd be hard to turn away.

That's exactly what happened to Jim and I with the -Wise books ["Babywise", "Toddler-wise, etc."] We were bombarded with the suggestions that we just had to read these books because they were life changing. A baby who slept through the night at six weeks? Who wouldn't want that?!

I'll admit that during my pregnancy I didn't read one book on the baby part. I used up all my brain cells on just getting through the pregnancy and delivering this child successfully. So, while "Babywise" was in the back of my mind, I didn't take action and read this apparently amazing book. After Eli was born however, it seemed as though the SAME suggestions came rolling in over and over and over and over and over again. I couldn't get away from it!

Jim and I have said it's amazing how never in our lives have we heard such outstanding praise about one single item. To this day, I haven't received ONE recommendation for any other baby book. Not one. But whenever I slightly mentioned that Eli wasn't sleeping through the night or put up a celebratory facebook status about Eli waking for one feeding, it always, always went back to someone suggesting Babywise. Always.

So, what did I do? Well, I read Babywise. It wasn't exactly earth shattering or life changing advice. To me, the idea of parent directed feeding didn't seem dangerous like so many lactivists and attachment parents claimed it was. As a nursing mommy, flags DID go up, however it wasn't as if sirens were going off in my head telling me to run away. So, for a week or two, we tried this new schedule of doing things. Eli would eat every 3 hours which was simple enough. He ate, he played, he slept. Looking back it was during that time that Jim and I began to wonder if Eli was maybe showing signs of colic. He was always grouchy, never happy and it was only when he was sleeping that we could breathe a sigh of relief [13 months later and I can say our child did NOT have colic]. It was also at that time that Eli's weight gain began to stall and I began to question my milk supply. Once we got the news that Eli wasn't gaining as he should, all advice from Babywise went out the door. It wasn't working. In fact, it was hurting my child. Cranky baby? More like HUNGRY baby. I know we only did this for one or two weeks but as a mother, it kills me knowing that for those few days, my boy was in pain - because of me.

Ever since then I've felt resistance to Babywise. That's not to say though that it hasn't been brought up to me. Jim and I had dinner at some one's house when Eli was four or five months old. The mom has four kids, the youngest being one month older than Eli, and all her kids slept through the night right away. When I asked her secret [stupid me], guess what she said? You got it. Even people who recommended Babywise to me once, somehow felt the need to tell me again... and again and again and again, almost as if they had amnesia. I keep quiet to be polite. But inside I want to scream "YOU ALREADY TOLD ME!!! AND IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE HINT, I THINK YOUR BOOK IS GARBAGE! WHICH IS WHY I'M IGNORING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luckily we're out of that baby stage [although being pregnant for the second time, you can only guess what's coming out of the wood work]. But now were in toddler hood which presents itself with another whole world of challenges. For the first year of Eli's life our main priorities were to keep him fed, changed, loved and protected. But now we've got a little human being on our hands that needs to be civilized and taught manners, responsibility and accountability. And quite honestly, there are days when I have no idea what the HELL I'm doing. There are moments when I have a whiny, bratty, selfish kid kicking and squirming on the floor and I don't have the slightest idea how to convey to him to knock it off. As most mothers would do, I sought out advice from my fellow moms and I nearly crapped myself when I realized there was another -Wise book. Oh great. Oh...FREAKIN' great.

Last night as I settled into bed with my Kindle to browse the Amazon bookstore, I found myself looking up Toddlerwise. My hand hovered over the "Buy Now" button but there was such a loud voice inside of me saying "No! Stop! Don't do it!!". I could physically feel the resistance building up in my chest. Part of me said based on my experience to run away. But another part of me said all of my Christian friends who are moms - and have some well behaved kids by the way- swear by these books. I cherish their advice. What's wrong with me? I've been dealing with this internal struggle for way too long and it was time to make a decision and stick to my guns.

So, Jim and I- together- hopped on the Internet and did some research. It didn't take long for us, after reading about Ezzo and his philosophy, to look at each other and declare we are NOT following these books. They are not allowed in this household. We will not subscribe to their teachings. At that moment it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. For too long I've felt like I was missing the mark as a Christian mom when I didn't buy into the whole -Wise series. But after making last night's decision, I feel a very strong sense of inner peace. Don't get me wrong - I'm pretty much only going to look for godly, christian advice when raising my children. Based on today's adolescent population as a whole I'm going to run far away from secular advice. I think our society has given children waaay too many options and freedom and not enough boundaries and rules which has resulted in lazy, rude teenagers who have no respect for adults. But I'm going to choose what I read and what I subscribe to carefully. And if anyone brings up Baby - or Toddlerwise to me again, I'm going to politely tell them I've done my research and these books aren't for me or my family.

I guess I don't know why I'm putting this out there. Some of you might be thinking "It's about time, Andrea. Glad you came to your senses". Others might be offended. But I guess my point is - just because a book is deemed "Christian" doesn't mean you have to blindly follow. Do your research, follow that gut instinct and most importantly, pray for guidance. That's what I did and I'm happy with where it got me.

And for those who are wondering, last night I purchased "Happiest Toddler on the Block" for my Kindle. Looking back, Harvey Karp's advice got us through some pretty hard times when Eli was a newborn so I trust this next book will get us through this next stage as well. I'm only about ten pages in, but already nodding my head and agreeing with everything he says. I feel good - very good - about my decision.

Life Currently as I Know It

2011-06-27T09:14:00.005-05:00

To say life has been busy lately, is like saying the sun is warm - Not quite painting the right picture. It's been nuts around here and I kind of want to crawl into a hole until my to-do list dwindles down to nothing. Our days literally consist of planning things down to the minute. I feel like Jim and I have to schedule time to pee and even then we're rushing through the process! On Saturday, we had our first phone conference because we didn't even have time to sit down for 2 stinkin' minutes and talk about what needed to be done.

Just to give you an idea of what's been going on around here, I'll start with Thursday evening. Around 8pm, I finally got home from my trip to Michigan. Remember the photography workshop with Amy Wenzel I told you about? Yeah, awesome in every way. More...MUCH MORE on that later. Anyway, since I was so close to home I told Jim to keep Eli up so I could see him. When I walked through the door I greeted my men, ran to the bathroom to pee [while Eli cried his eyes out] and then put Eli to bed. Jim and I had about a half hour or so to talk before he went to bed and I stayed up way past midnight working on new forms for my photography business. The next morning Jim left for work and I had to get ready for a photo shoot. After dropping Eli off at my in-laws, I met the family near the lake front for our photographs. Then it was back to pick up Eli, get him home and put him down for a nap. I spent the next hour or so cleaning the house that my husband somehow managed to dirty up in two short days while I was gone. Eli got up and it was time to head to my parents for dinner. For the first time that week I finally felt like I had time to just sit back and relax. After we got home, I put Eli to bed and again stayed up past midnight still working on those forms....

Saturday morning began nice and early at 5 am when Eli started whining in his room. I have a pretty strict rule in this house that Eli will not be taken out of his crib until at least 7 am. I heard our pastor's wife say that once and I tended to gravitate towards that rule. As long as Eli is just babbling and whining and not hysterically crying, in his crib he'll stay. But of course I was awake. So I jumped in the shower, got dressed and headed downstairs to do the dishes. Jim walked through the door shortly after 7 am where I handed Eli off and told him to stay by his phone. I had to leave for another photo shoot 45 minutes away and there were things that needed to be discussed. Once in my car I called Jim so that he could write down things that had to be done, such as buy a gift for a wedding we were attending later that day and give Eli a bath. Yes, I had to remind myself to wash my child. Nothing is routine around here anymore. Luckily my dear husband decided to help me out and do gift shopping and child scrubbing while I was gone.

I got home from the photo shoot a little after 11 am where Jim and I did the exchange again. He handed Eli off to me while running out the door for a haircut. As soon as he got home he jumped in the shower, threw on a suit and ran off to the wedding ceremony. I decided I wasn't going since there was SO MUCH that had to be done. And since the reception wasn't until later in the evening, I figured I had to take advantage of my afternoon and get stuff ACCOMPLISHED. While Eli napped, I cleaned some more [I swear my house gets dirty in 2 seconds], cleaned the interior of my car [I always seem to accumlate tons of crap on road trips], washed blankets from the previous day's photoshoot and wrapped gifts. By the time that was done, I had about 30 minutes to myself so I plopped on the couch, watched a bit of Titanic on TV and fell asleep. Those blissful moments of course ended when Eli woke up and the frantic, non-stop music began yet again. Jim got home from the ceremony, quickly changed into scrub clothes so he could pack his bags and the truck for the triathalon he was doing the next morning. Yeah, you thought it couldn't get worse...my husband was doing a triathalon at 6:30 the next morning. While Jim packed, I got ready for the wedding while Eli played by my feet in the bathroom. I prayed to God that my child would be happy for 30 minutes after I made the silly decision to curl my hair. Before I knew it, we were all ready and packed and out the door to pick up Jim's brother and wife and then drop Eli off at my parent's house. By the time we got to the wedding, I wanted a glass of wine SO BADLY, but I had to settle for a kiddie cocktail. Fabulous.

So we did the whole wedding thing - Mingled, ate, mingled some more, etc. Jim and I left around 10 pm, picked up Eli and then found ourselves sitting in traffic on the freeway, pissed and irritated. My parents do not live far from my house at all. Fifteen minutes at the most. But there are two routes to take, either the streets or freeway. Jim decided to take the freeway that evening and of course there were major lane closures for construction and so after snapping at each other, we decided to just keep quiet and not speak because really, it wasn't anyone's fault. We got home after 11, put Eli to bed and then Jim gave me instructions for the triathalon the following day.

Jim got up at 4 am on Sunday and drove down to the tri. I got up around 6, got myself and Eli ready and fed us both breakfast. We were out the door by 7 and at the tri later that hour - but not before stopping at Starbucks on my way. Coffee wasn't a luxury at that point, it was an absolute necessity. The triathalon was really enjoyable though. Eli and hung out for about 3 hours watching the athletes and cheering Jim on at the transition points and finish line. I can't help but feel so proud of my hubby watching him do what he loves. The only downfall was my poor Eli being so constipated. He was grunting ever since we left the house and shortly before Jim crossed the finish line, Eli was still bearing down - using my shoulders as leverage - and crying. I was frantically feeding him fruit and looking for juice to get things moving in his little belly all the while tearing up behind my sunglasses. I felt so bad for him. But after Jim finished the race, we all sat under a tree where I changed Eli's diaper and saw that he had a nice massive poop waiting to be removed. I've never been so happy to see such a turd.

We hung out at the tri a bit and then off to home so I could relax.

Ha!!! NOT so much!

On our way, I stopped at the grocery store to get Eli some more apple juice and other necessities. Once home, Eli went down for a nap and it was time for me to get ready for my cousin's baby shower. I ate a little lunch, prepared a relish tray and had less than an hour to jump in the shower and get dressed. Jim, in the meantime, took a little nap and then got ready to take Eli to the Brewer's game.

At 6pm, last night, this family was frazzled. Eli was cranky, I was swollen and tired and Jim was beyond exhuasted. We ate dinner, I gave Eli a bath and it was an early bedtime for ALL of us. Jim and I crawled into bed around 7:30 - the sun was still shining! But I was asleep within an hour and didn't wake until almost 8:30 this morning!!! My child even slept in. Goes to show you how crazed we've all been.

I wish I could say we're all caught up here but that's far from the truth. I almost don't want to look at my to-do list because it's too daunting to comprehend. Pictures need to be edited, baby girl clothes need to be washed and put away and blog posts need to be written. I completely missed Eli's 13 month update and my 21 week pregnancy post. Instead of adding those to my already growing list, I've decided to be less than perfect and just combine those with the next updates. But the big thing haning over my head is this baby's nursery. It's a combined project really. The old office is going to be the new baby's room and not only do we have to paint and get new furniture but we also have to move all the office stuff so I an have a nice new, organized location for all my photography goods. This business is undergoing a huge face lift and it's time to have a dedicated, quiet work place.

I've already made my mind up that it's time to start saying no to things. No to squeezing in last minute photo sessions [I'm already booked 4-6 weeks out], no to showers and parties and no to little, petty things I *think* need to be accomplished. It's for my sanity and my health. On Saturday I experienced a pretty intense braxton hicks contraction while laying on the couch which tells me I need to start listening to my body and slow down.

But with that, there are a few things I want to blog about so be on the look out for a post about Amy's workshop. It was by far one of the most life changing things I've ever experienced! And of course I want to keep you all in the loop about Eli and this pregnancy so that will be next in line. But please pray that I have the energy to survive and keep things in perspective.

Anxiety

2011-06-21T07:25:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow and Thursday is already Amy Wenzel's photography workshop I was telling you guys about last week! Honestly, I blinked and it was here. Just like that. I am so unbelievably thrilled and excited to be attending. The emails I received from Amy explaining what to expect, how to prepare, etc. just make me love her that much more. Without any hesitation, I can say I don't have an ounce of anxiety or stress over this workshop. Not one iota. I feel prepared and knowledeable enough about my equipment and photoshop to not be that "that person" in the class who just doens't get it. I'm so ready to move forward with my photography skills and grow by leaps and bounds. I'm so ready to come home inspired, motivated and equipped to move this business in the right direction.

What I'm not excited about? [Here's where I come across as weak and too dependent on others.] I'm really, REALLY not looking forward to driving to Michigan tonight all by lonesome self. This morning as I went to check the weather forecast so I could pack accordingly, this was the first thing that flashed across my screen on weather.com

All that red? Yeah...um, right in my path. Fabulous, right? Last night as I crawled into bed, I gave Jim my most sweet, innocent face and told him he should call in sick to work today and just come to Michigan with me. But you see, my husband is too honest to pull something like that. And so, I'll be leaving later on today - battling Chicago traffic and apparently end of the world thunder storms - with just me, my camera and my book on CD. I'll survive right?

But that's not all. I'll be staying in a hotel for two nights alone. Usually I enjoy the thrill of sleeping in a hotel, but it has to be with Jim. The traveling all by myself thing I can handle, it's the "vacationing" alone thing that makes me sad. The last time I slept in a hotel room alone was when I went on a recruiting trip at my old job. I still remember sleeping at the edge of the bed, on top of the covers with one eye open. That could possibly be me tonight and tomorrow night. Luckily I booked a hotel with apparently a stellar continental breakfast. That should make up for everything.

And lastly - Mr. Eli. Dude has been driving me bonkers these past few days with his mood swings, but the thought of leaving him still stings. When we got back from New York last month, the feeling of "I'm not doing this for a loooooooooooooong time" was pretty clear. I did not want to be away from my little boy for a few nights until he was like..oh, I don't know...30. But here I am, a month later leaving - again. As always, he's going to be in excellent hands. It's going to be just Eli, Jim and Bailey for the next few days. Bachelor house, indeed. In fact, I actually think it's going to be a good experience for Jim to have Eli just to himself. They'll probably bond even more and have tons of fun. It makes my heart melt a little knowing it's just going to be father and boy hanging out and doing guy stuff.

So yeah, SUPER pumped about the workshop! Not so pumped about driving by myself, staying in a hotel by myself and saying good-bye to Jim and Eli for 48 hours. How pathetic am I?

Pregnancy #2 - 20w6d

2011-06-16T20:50:00.001-05:00

Last weekend someone was shocked when I told them I was pregnant. Looking at this photo, I have no idea how they could miss it!

It was such a beautiful day today that Jim, Eli and I spent the afternoon playing in the backyard. Not wanting to ruin the moment, we decided to just snap this week's photo outside. I rather like it :)

How Far Along: 20 weeks, 6 days.

Size of baby: Baby girl is about 10 inches long from head to foot and weighs 10.5 ounces.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I weighed myself two days ago and I'm up 9 lbs. Not horrible. I did, however, totally cave and bought crazy bread from Little Caesars yesterday and just downed two bowls of ice cream tonight after dinner. The fact that I'm half way through this pregnancy and have yet to find that strong sense of self control makes me realize it will probably never come.

Maternity Clothes: Yes, all of it. Pants, shirts. Look at my picture. I'm huge.

Gender: We're having a girl, who has yet to be named. Worry has set in since Eli was a front runner last time at 20 weeks. Jim and I have a list hanging out on the kitchen counter but nothing has been added since the day we composed it! If someone held a gun to my head though I'm pretty certain I know the name I would choose. It's just a matter of feeling "yes, this is it!"

Movement: Actually, very little. She did give me a swift kick during the photo above of Eli and I. She either really likes or really despises her big brother because that's the only time she makes her presence known.

Sleep: Excellent. And I'm so tired right now I could sleep for days.

What I miss: Nada.

Cravings: Nothing!

Symptoms: My skin is itchy which ticks me off. It's too early for that! And my goodness, if I get a stretch mark this early I will scream. The few that I got with Eli didn't show up until the very end which resulted in barely visible scars. If I get those stinkin' marks now, with 20 more weeks to deepen and lengthen, my stomach has no hope for a bikini ever again. The good news is I begin to itch shortly after putting on my maternity jeans with the full front panel. I'm thinking the irritation is due to the fabric and not my skin ripping away [please, God, please].

Best Moment this week: This morning when Jim came home from work. I'm careful not to reveal when my hubby is at work on this blog in case there are creepy pervs out there. But out of the last 5 days, Jim has worked 4. And I missed him a lot. And I'm so tired.

Best comment of the week: Drawing a blank here.

What I'm looking forward to: Getting started on baby girl's room. Again, I'm panicking since there has been zero progress in that department. I searched the Internet high and low for bedding right after our big ultrasound but this whole business launch has been keeping me really busy. I freaked out a little when the countdown clock on our entertainment center said we had 138 days left until our EDD. That just seems too close, especially since it started out around 258 days! So I'm definitely looking forward to getting started on that. And soon!

Milestones: Baby girl's digestive system is beginning to produce meconium, that lovely first poop. I remember it well, friends. I remember it well.

We're half way there!! This baby is going to be here before I know it.

Eli's 1st Birthday Party

2011-06-15T21:52:00.002-05:00

So, how late am I with this one? Oh, about a month :) Better late than never though and I must get this written down so I can capture the memories before they fade!

Jim and I planned for Eli's party to take place on the Saturday before his actual birthday. May in Wisconsin is quite the tricky month to plan things. You can either get a warm sunny day or a stinkin' snow storm. Five years ago, my friends threw my wedding shower and bachelorette party in early May and it snowed. I had a cute dress and sandals all picked out and I didn't care how ridiculous I looked, nothing was going to stop me from wearing them. And then, one short week later Jim and I attended a wedding and it was hot outside. Not warm....hot. So, clearly with this in mind, I had no idea what to expect for Eli's party. History has proven the weather is never on my side so Jim and I decided to plan for the worst, hope for the best.

We had a pretty huge guest list. So many people were looking forward to celebrating Eli's first birthday, there was no way to cut anyone out. And quite honestly, I was okay with that. To know my little boy is loved just feels awesome so the more, the merrier was my mentality. Of course, with such a big guest list, I really could have gone for some nice weather so people could hang out in the backyard. I'm sure you know where this is heading. The weather was pretty crummy. It was so crummy that our plan to set up the garage as an overflow room didn't even work. So our house was packed...to the brim...with lots and lots and lots of people and kids and chaos. Panic definitely set in as people arrived and my house seemed to shrink by the second. Luckily, everyone sort of found their place and things went as smoothly as they could. Chaotic? Yes. But definitely fun and the perfect way to celebrate Eli's life.

I decided to go with a "You are my Sunshine" theme for the party. I've seen this all over the internet and just had to do it. I figured there will be plenty of opportunities for firefighter, action figure and sport themes in the future. The first birthday party is pretty much my only chance to do what I *really* want because after this it's all up to Mr. Eli.

Before the chaos set in.

Our monthly photos. I couldn't help but feel the sting of nostalgia while making these and seeing how my baby has grown up already.

The smash cake I made the night before. And I can't tell you how RELIEVED I was to have ordered the real birthday cake for our guests. A true baker, I am not.

As a side note, I made this cake and a whole bunch of cupcakes for the munchkins using a super easy recipe. Buy a box of yellow cake mix and instead of adding all the ingredients it calls for, just add a can of crushed pineapple - juice and all. It's super moist and tastes amazing! I finished it off with some homemade cream cheese frosting because for some reason, the pre-made stuff sort of freaks me out.

At first Eli was unsure about all the singing.

Luckily he didn't cry which totally surprised me! I, on the other hand, couldn't help but tear up.

Eli was pretty hesitant at first so I tried to tempt him with a few tastes.

But pretty soon he was digging in.

And was a happy camper :)

And then...the gift opening. Oh, the gift opening. Feast your eyes on this craziness!

Like I said...crazy.

In the end, Eli didn't give a rip about the presents and just made his way across the room.

I can't express how thankful Jim and I are to all of our friends and family for attending Eli's party and all the sweet gifts. Like I said earlier, it just feels amazing knowing our little boy is loved. When I think of the heartache we went through waiting for him, this celebration seems more special to me. It was a good day, folks. Well worth the chaos :)

Andrea Weiss Photography - News!

2011-06-15T03:23:00.003-05:00

Well, folks, I finally....after, oh 3 years or so, officially launched Andrea Weiss Photography! It's been a busy few weeks researching, organizing and designing but it's been really fun. Without going into too much detail, I had a pivotal point a few weeks ago when it came to the business. Jim and I sat down and talked long and hard about where we wanted to see this endeavor go. I'll admit...it took me a few days to make a decision but I'm certain I made the right one when I decided to go full force with my business. It's scary. It's exciting. It feels amazing.

One of the best things about this whole process was designing a website. I've been asked way too many times if I had one and I started to get really embarrassed when the answer was "no". Well, "no" eventually turned into "not yet", which then turned into "next month/week". And now? Now, the answer is an enthusiastic "YES!". So, if you get the chance, please, please, please check out Andrea Weiss Photography and let me know what you think :) It's still a work in progress. Every time I visit the website [which is quite often these days], I find myself changing something up. It's addicting. And if you really do like me, make sure to click that button on my new facebook page.

So, now that that's out....I have even bigger news!

No, I'm not pregnant. Well, yes, actually I am, but you already knew that :)

Next week I'll be attending my first photography workshop over in Grand Rapids, Michigan. For the past year or so, I've had my eye on two photographers who put on workshops and Amy Wenzel is one of them. I just adore her style, approach to photography and most importantly her heart. The chance to attend her workshop felt like centuries away and yet, here I am...attending in 7 short days! Again, this was something that sort of came out of nowhere. We had the availability and funds and after prayer and discussions, I was signed up. Jim was supportive from the first second but I'll admit, it took me a few days to take the plunge. And now I'm so glad I did. As far as that other photography workshop goes, as soon as those 2012 dates are released, I have a feeling I'll be all over that!

So, that's my news for now. Thank you letting me share and even great appreciation goes out to all those clients who got me to where I am today! I am blessed.

Pregnancy #2 - 18w6d

2011-06-03T08:43:00.002-05:00

How Far Along: 18 weeks, 6 days [done just in the nick of time!]

Size of baby: Baby Surprise weighs about 7 ounces and is 5.5 inches long, about the size of a bell pepper.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Totally saw this coming. I'm up another 2 lbs for a total of 8. Yeah, I'm a little bummed but what else can I expect from two vacations in two weeks? Whenever we go up to the cabin with Jim's family, there's a TON of food. Desserts are always out, dinners are huge and you can't help but snack every time someone busts out chips and guacamole. You gotta live once in a while, right?

Maternity Clothes: Yes, and yes. Even wore my maternity swim suit this weekend. Not gonna lie...I feel rather "middle age" in it :) At this stage of the pregnancy, I certainly wouldn't mind wearing a bikini but to me a suntan equals damaged skin. And damaged skin equals stretch marks....and we all know how I feel about those. I'll take the middle aged look for 5 more months if it means wearing a bikini again in the future ;)

Gender: Sugar and spice and everything nice. Holy cow...WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!!! And my mind hasn't stopped once revolving around pink, pink and more pink.

Movement: Baby girl's movements are getting more consistent but are still rather light and fluffy. Besides the gut punch she gave me at the wedding, she's still in the "butterflies" stage.

Sleep: Eh, it's getting interesting. With the warmer weather [thank you Jesus], I'm stripping down to a nothing but the underoos and t-shirt by midnight. And with Eli's schedule thrown for a loop this weekend, he had me up A LOT. I was exhausted and cranky for a couple of days.

What I miss: Being able to go for a run without having to pee my pants. I was tempted to take a squat behind someone's house yesterday but I'm a lady and certainly don't have the guts for that.

Cravings: I'm going through a watermelon every 2 days or so. Not sure if it's just because it's in season or I'm truly craving it. Regardless, when I saw people dwindling my watermelon supply up north, I got a bit possessive. I'm also digging fruit snacks. The wrappers are everywhere.

Symptoms: I'm beginning to feel the weight of my belly, which while it's noticeable, it's really not bothersome yet. Also, I'm peeing a ton.

Best Moment this week: The big ultrasound was pretty cool ;) And finding out baby girl is healthy. I tried not to focus on any negative thoughts but I was a little worried that we'd get some bad news about her progress.

Best comment of the week: "You sure you don't have twins in there?" - Yep...got that one already.

What I'm looking forward to: Just relaxing after a month of go-go-go. I loved planning and executing Eli's party, traveling to New York and going up north. But I'm sick of laundry and packing and unpacking and driving and fast food meals. Yesterday after my run I came home to Jim and Eli sitting on a blanket in the backyard and it just felt so good to chill without a huge to-do list hanging over my head.

Milestones: Baby girl is now moving around in there, which we saw on Wednesday. Her uterus and fallopian tubes are in place and her nerves are continuing to develop.

We're Having a Girl!

2011-06-02T04:42:00.003-05:00

Yes, you read that right.

Jim and I are having a little girl!

Eli's getting a little sister!

Somehow, someway, we managed to break the cycle. After 6 grandsons, Jim and I are having THE GIRL!

Let me give you an idea of how excited I am. It's 5 am and I'm up writing this because visions of pink are running through my head.

Jim and I spent this past Sunday through Wednesday up north at the family cabin and it was then that I really let myself bask in the thought of a little miss. On Sunday night as I tossed and turned trying to get myself to sleep, my mind kept wandering to idea of pink dresses, tea parties and baby dolls. And as I laid there, feeling the baby move move and kick, I kept thinking "She's moving...she's in there." Jim and I didn't have much time to really enjoy the anticipation on Wednesday morning since we rushed to pack our stuff, clean the cabin and drive four hours back to Milwaukee, literally to make it just in time to run into the doctor's office. But as thoughts crept in my mind of the ultrasound tech saying "it's a girl", I got major butterflies.

We drove into Milwaukee at 1:15 with our appointment set for 2:00. We quickly dropped Eli off at my in-laws and sped our way to the office. My nerves were on high alert as the ultrasound tech had me get situated on the table. At my anatomy scan with Eli, I wasn't nearly this jittery since we weren't finding out the gender yet [as you may recall, since our u/s was a few days before Christmas, Jim and I decided to have the tech write down the gender and put it in a sealed envelope so we could have the big reveal on Christmas morning.] The tech asked if we were interested in finding out the sex and we immediately said "Yes!". The wand was placed on my belly and within seconds, we all saw the money shot. The tech commented how unbelievably cooperative this baby was and we had our answer right in front of us. I saw it. I saw NOTHING! And I knew.

I hesitantly said, "I....think I know what it is".

"Go ahead," the tech responded.

"A......girl?"

"Yep. That's a girl!"

Jim and I just looked at each other and laughed. I wish I had a camera at that moment to capture my husband's expression. It was a mixture of shock, awe and excitement. We spent the next hour checking out baby girl and everything looks good and healthy which is the most important thing. Her growth is right on track and she's measuring in the 65th percentile for her gestational age. The u/s tech was crazy in awe of this baby because she kept commenting how photogenic she was and in the end, we walked home with practically a book of pictures.

There was only one bit of so-so news, which I haven't even given a thought to since I'm on such an emotional high. The placenta is laying a bit low. They want to see a distance between the cervix and placenta of 2 cm and right now I'm at 1.8. My doctor didn't seem the least bit worried and when I asked if I had any limitations, she told me absolutely not and that she believes this will completely correct itself in the coming weeks. If, for some reason, though the placenta remains low until the birth day, I will probably have to undergo a c-section since my cervix will be completely covered and unable to pass the baby. But my doctor says she rarely sees this happen since the continual growth of the uterus pulls everything right into place. Like I said, I'm not too worried. My baby girl is healthy and that's all that matters to me. Plus, I get another u/s in four weeks which gives me another chance to peek at my baby again.

But let's get to the fun stuff. Here are some pictures of the princess [that will be the first and last time I call her that]

Her profile:

The money shot:

While she may have showed us the goods, she's still modest. Crossed ankles:

Her little footsie:

And my absolute favorite. Hold on to your seats. How uncanny is this? During our u/s, I can't tell you how many times I said she "looks" like Eli. The tech probably thought I was crazy since I repeated myself close to 100 times. But it's true. See for yourself and check out the comparison between their profile shots at 18 weeks-

Baby girl:

Eli:

No, that's not the same picture! It's crazy insane how identical these pictures are. And now I can't wait to see what she looks like!

I love my little girl. I can't believe how our little family is forming. It seems too good to be true and it's impossible to stop thanking God for these blessings. We are just to THANKFUL! We're having a girl!!!

Eli - Twelve Months [Not allowed]

2011-05-25T21:11:00.009-05:00

The post I anticipated and dreaded all at the same time. My baby is no longer a baby. I have a full fledged toddler. Stop growing up so fast, Eli James. Mama can't handle this.

Let's cover those infamous stats first. We had our 12 month well baby check up this week and Eli pretty much falls right in the middle of everything. He weighs 22 pounds, 4 ounces [45th percentile], is 30 inches long [50th] and has a noggin with a circumference of 46 inches [50th].

Like I said, we're in toddler mode 100%. I haven't seen Eli crawl a substantial distance in weeks. He's a walker, that's for sure. Jim and I get a total kick out of it. Nothing makes me giggle more than watching Eli waddle away from me down the hallway. The view is one hundred times better when he's in nothing but a diaper. According to my "What to Expect the Toddler Years" book, Eli will be a bit wobbly on his feet for a few more years, which makes me shutter less at those falls. If I fell that many times a day I'm pretty sure I'd be extremely frustrated, but Eli just stands right back up, grabs his toys and carries on. At the risk of offending someone here, I must say that I like the fact that I don't have a super sensitive child on my hands. I've been around kids who cry at the slightest bump and bruise and I don't think that patience code is programmed in me [yet].

In addition to crawling, Eli LOVES to climb things. And the stinker knows he's not allowed! Before putting up the baby gate, Eli would climb up one or two stairs on our staircase and stop. A few seconds later either Jim or I would peek around the corner to see Eli looking over his shoulder with a goofy grin and an expression on his face that said "I know I'm not supposed to be doing this". Thank goodness we haven't encountered a nasty fall yet. It's probably one of my deepest fears right now. If I think about it too much, I begin to play a scene in my head where Eli falls down the stairs and it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. In order to give Eli the experience though, I'll walk behind him if he wants to crawl up the stairs but other than that, we've got those babies gated and off limits! Of course, my boy being a boy will easily find other things to climb over. Right now his favorite thing is the small rocking chair in his room. Every time I'm folding his laundry or cleaning up, I'll turn around to see him standing on the chair. Every single time. It doesn't fail.

The non-stop exploring has resulted in some serious sleep around here! Eli is still snoozing his usual 12 hours at night [lately it's been closer to 13 hours though] and these daily naps are getting longer and longer. I have noticed a trend, however, of these naps taking place later in the day. Where we were once going down around 10 am, we're now pushing it to 11 and sometimes even noon. Eli's sleeping close to three hours and at times he'll go longer which means we have to go and wake him. Easter proved to me that Eli doesn't lose steam easily though. We had an 11 am brunch with Jim's family and I was concerned how this completely overlapped with our precious nap time. I, along with many other people were not only blown away by Eli's lack of crabbiness but by the fact that he was in a happy, giggly mood the entire afternoon. Skipping nap time isn't something I want to get into the habit of, but it's nice to know that Eli can handle a day or two outside his normal schedule.

On the food front, it looks as though Gerber and Beech Nut will no longer be getting our business. Eli pretty much despises that bland jarred food and would much rather chow down on some real food. I can't blame the kid. Have any of you ever tried some of those meat meals? Disgusting. It felt like child abuse feeding that to Eli but he wasn't ready for lots of texture for a long time. Any time I fed him chicken, he gagged and then proceeded to vomit all over himself. But now he's certainly ready to eat what we eat. Must be those four teeth that FINALLY came through this month [two on the bottom, two on the top]. So far he isn't a fan of protein but he can pack away blueberries and watermelon just like his mama. And just wait until you see photos of the first ice cream cone on his birthday :)

For the past month, Jim and I have also worked on transitioning from formula to organic whole milk. We first started with a 75%/25% ratio and slowly worked our way to 100% milk. Eli never batted an eye. I'm still waiting for the day when he throws a major tantrum over these changes because I've yet to see one. Formula to milk? No problem. Bottle to sippy cup? Easy peasy. Again, that one felt like child abuse because one day I just put the milk in a sippy cup and he took to it like nothing had changed at all. We didn't even have to experiment with different cups like I hear so many parents have to do. I'm praying this demeanor stays until those potty training years. Can you imagine if that transition is just as easy?!

We have our moments but for the most part Eli is great with other people. In the six months or so that he's been in the church nursery, I think I've been paged out of service once. He does seem to get a bit whiney when I first leave him in the nursery or with his grandparents but the report always comes back that he's cool after I'm out of sight.

We finally took the plunge and got Eli his first official hair cut. We were both kind of sick of the wonky job I was doing here at home. Luckily Eli was in a great mood and sat as good as you could expect from a one year old. My heart couldn't help but squeeze with love and saddness watching my little boy look so grown up.

Of course, I had to tell the stylist that under no circumstance did I want to walk out of there with a child sporting a horrendous bowl cut [I may have said it nicer] and luckily, we didn't have to. Jim and I were pleasantly surprised with the outcome!

I had an outstanding realization this week while pondering Eli's first year of life. Amidst those thoughts of sleepless nights, homemade baby food and the transition from rolling to crawling to walking, I realized we never once had an ear infection. Not one. In fact, besides one appointment where my suspicions of an ear infection were immediately dismissed, Eli has only been to the doctor's office for check ups. Sure we definitely had our fair share of snotty noses and congestion but somehow we managed to sidestep the serious stuff. This means a lot to me. During my breastfeeding battle, I kept hearing the words of lactivists lamenting how unhealthy formula fed babies are. So when we stopped nursing and went straight to formula I felt like I was giving my child poison and could expect a plethora of illness to come our way. To know that Eli has been and still is healthy, makes me feel less guilty about our decision and more thankful that as Eli's mom, I know best.

I'll leave you with a few photos of Eli's actual first birthday. Even though we had a huge party for him that previous weekend [more on that in another post], Jim and I decided to celebrate with our little man with an ice cream cone from McDonald's. The plan was to have Eli take a few bites out of Jim's cone but in the end, it was Jim who got the raw end of the deal. One taste of that ice cream and Eli never once took that cone away from his mouth. Somehow he managed to eat the whole thing and we were running out of the restaurant seconds after he finished because he was crying for more. Happy Birthday little man :)

Eli, you are our world. Keep on being your awesome self.

Pregnancy #2 - 17w5d

2011-05-25T20:18:00.002-05:00

How Far Along: 17 weeks, 5 days

Size of baby: Baby Surprise weighs about 5 ounces and is 5 inches long.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: As of this morning I've gained a total of 5 pounds. A 2 pound gain this week isn't surprising seeing that Jim and I stopped at McDonald's twice on our road trip [barf] and I inhaled two cupcakes at Saturday's wedding.

The sad part about this photo? These two cupcakes are in ADDITION to the two I ate at dinner and while we were dancing. I like to call this the pregnant woman's version of double fisting it.

But honestly, I'm okay with this trend. I wanted to be at or under a 10 pound gain by my 20 week mark and I think I'm on track to meet this goal. It's safe to say I'm waaaay under the weight I was at this point last pregnancy.

Maternity Clothes: Pants, absolutely. Shirts, not quite yet. Although I am wearing a maternity shirt in the photo above and I think it de-emphasizes the bump, thank God.

Gender: We find out in exactly one week! Please, baby Surprise cooperate and show us the goods :) I'm taking guesses now so make sure to leave them in your comments.

Movement: I'm so excited to share this story because I didn't even experience this with my last pregnancy. On Saturday at the wedding, I felt baby Surprise kick me so unbelievably hard, I actually doubled over on the dance floor. Let me set the stage: Jim despises the Cha-Cha Slide. Actually he despises all those songs but put the Cupid's Shuffle on and I'm on that dance floor in two seconds. Well, like most weddings the Cha-Cha slide started, I looked at Jim, he shook his head and I hustled my way to the dance floor without him. I was getting my groove thang on when suddenly I felt the hardest, most forceful kick just right of my belly button. It didn't hurt one bit but it took me by such surprise that I grabbed my stomach and bent over. I didn't expect this at all! With Eli, the most movement I ever felt was a gentle wave usually right after I crawled into bed. He never ever punched or kicked me and most certainly never like this. Jim looked at me with some concern but I just smiled and mouthed "the baby just kicked!". So now we joke that this child either LOVES or HATES the Cha-Cha Slide.

Sleep: Excellent. This is what I call second trimester bliss.

What I miss: I couldn't help but salivate at the wedding while watching my friends sip on beer and wine and martinis. I may or may not have stolen a sip.

Cravings: The pizza craving is back. Jim and I had a super delicious pizza for dinner on Friday night in Niagara Falls but by Saturday afternoon I was already craving a greasy pepperoni pizza from Papa Johns. Sadly, it hasn't quit. While working out today, I considered ditching our chicken dinner and getting pizza instead. Me thinks I'll be giving in soon.

Symptoms: None this week. Maybe slight nausea in the mornings but that's about it.

Best Moment this week: So many. Despite missing Eli like crazy, I actually enjoyed Jim's and my weekend getaway. We were able to take our time exploring Niagara Falls and eat at restaurants without worrying about nap time or meltdowns. But reuniting with Eli was just awesome and I was so glad to have a heavy, back breaking toddler on my hip the following day while shopping at Target. And did I mention I had a prenatal massage on Monday. It was awesome and perfect and I already booked another one.

Best comment of the week: A waitress in Niagara Falls asked if I was pregnant after I ordered a water, then proceeded to tell me I'm barely showing. I think she was fishing for a hefty tip.

What I'm looking forward to: Well, duh! Finding out if Eli is getting a little brother or sister. Will I be busting out Eli's old clothes or buying pink?

Milestones: Surviving my first weekend away from Eli. For a first time parent this is HUGE. I'm proud of myself for not calling home every other hour.

On the baby front, the skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone which makes me shutter at the thought of pushing again. Oh yes, it's been a year and I still remember.

In Her Shoes

Gabriella : Three Months

Eli - Twenty Months

Meals : 1.18. 2012 and a RECIPE!!

Milwaukee Baby Photographer :: Gender Reveal

Meals : 1.13.2012 and other news

His Best Friend

New Years 2012

Meals : 1.6.2012

Paleo and Weight Loss So Far

A Look Back, A Glimpse Ahead : NYE 2012

Gabriella : Two Months

Merry Christmas!

Truth

I Want to Blog More, Dang it!

Eli - Eighteen Months

Gabriella : One Month

30 Hours

Thoughts on Controversial Co-Sleeping Ad?

A Tale of Two Pregnancies

Nothing is Sacred

Gabriella's Birth Story

He's Not a Baby Anymore

She's Here!!

Pregnancy #2 - 38w2d

Dear Eli

Her Room

Pregnancy #2 - 37 Weeks : Full Term!

Pregnancy #2 - 36 weeks : Home Stretch Baby!

Sarah

Pregnancy #2 - 34w6d

Eli - Sixteen Months

On Eating

Natural Medicine

Pregnancy #2 - 32w5d

7 Links Meme

Pregnancy #2 - 30w6d

Pregnancy #2 - 29 weeks

The Dirty Thirty

Photo Booth

Oh, the Irony

Ashley : Class of 2012 [Milwaukee Senior Photographer]

Pregnancy #2 - 26w6d

Pre-baby Jitters and a To-do List

Pregnancy #2 - 25w5d

Eli - Fourteen Months [And I thought the newborn stage was hard!]

Pregnancy #2 - 24w1d

Little Liam and Finding *the LIGHT*

Pregnancy #2 - 21w and 22w

Wising Up to Baby Wise

Life Currently as I Know It

Anxiety

Pregnancy #2 - 20w6d

Eli's 1st Birthday Party

Andrea Weiss Photography - News!

Pregnancy #2 - 18w6d

We're Having a Girl!

Eli - Twelve Months [Not allowed]

Pregnancy #2 - 17w5d

Little Liam and Finding the LIGHT